Having a little trouble navigating through that 5-bedroom house at 4302 Colony West Dr., packed full of a dizzying array of odds, ends, puppets, paintings, and plants? Never fear — here’s a walkthrough of the property, which has been an object of fascination for well over half a dozen Swamplot readers this morning (several of whom laud the home’s potential as a horror movie setting). That sentiment is fueled at least in part by the full spread of mannequins and large dolls dispersed throughout the various settings of the home (from front yard to back, floor to ceiling, and in various states of undress). Let’s start with the lone capped figure standing guard at the gate to the 2-acre property, just listed for $1.275 million:
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The living room is to the right as you enter, beneath the watchful gaze of the mannequin upstairs:
The listing highlights the room’s built-in shelving, somewhere beneath the doll collection currently occupying the room:
An adjacent family room is shown spangled with various doll and animal pieces:Â
The kitchen setup currently includes a faux bar buddy . . .
. . . as well as several chefs:
The study includes a set of double doors to the back patio, as well as what may be a small nod to David Bowie’s Labyrinth role:
The dining room:
The master bedroom, complete with a quick demonstration of how to watch teevee:
More company in the master bathroom:
The listing doesn’t specify whether the mannequins (including the familiar figure below) are part of the deal, though it does mention that the fish below are not:Â
The art studio (also pictured at the very top of the article) includes a library ladder:
The game room upstairs provides ample space for a range of activities:
A hunting room contains a fun gun case used by the outgoing occupant for other purposes:
The garage apartment’s full bath is shown with a nearly-full-sized fake French maid at work:
The pergola out back harbors an outdoor kitchen:
If the pool’s not your scene, there’s always Jones Creek out back, with the fake yard guy for company:
The listing also highlights the potential for cow-watching across the way:
- 4302 Colony West Dr. [HAR]
- Previously on Swamplot:Â Model Construction Worker Caught With Pants Down On Site, Turns Out To Be a Phony
Photos: HAR
The fish are not included, but what about the family photo on pic 19? Ha!
“Luxurious mannequins to cater to your EVERY need!”
Yeah. Someone is not well.
Why do they have a naked man in their family portrait in the breakfast area (right wall)
Man, that’s a lot of clutter in that house. If it were just a *wee* bit more filthy, it could be featured on that A&E network show “Hoarders”.
It’s like a Bennigan’s on acid.
Is there a garage sale scheduled? The mannequins could be of use. Asking for a friend.
And their realtor didn’t tell them to clear out all that stuff???
I have to admit, I have never seen so much clutter, so well done. Hoarder with OCD?
There is a fair amount of junky tourist trap kitsch in that house. But there is also a decent amount of interesting pieces of outsider art, antiques and Amerircana. So, more of a collector who cannot say “no” than a hoarder. But the mannequins are great. I would love to see the faces on the sprawl suburban neighbors when they come over for dinner parties.
J.F. Sebastion wanna be — with a little more degradation and lots more rain.
Every photo of this house kept making me think Silence of the Lambs.
There is a state hospital in Kerrville, TX which provides help!
This looks just like my mother’s house in Louisiana. It’s clean (I pity the poor cleaning lady), but I don’t think Mom’s ever left the house without returning with an additional tchochke. They’re 3 and 4 deep in places; there’s stuff hanging from every doorknob; every light switch is now a “decorative” one; there’s no open wall or flat surface left uncluttered.
wow they are really getting some great press…
https://consumerist.com/2017/07/18/if-you-love-the-ceiling-baby-scene-in-trainspotting-heres-a-real-estate-listing-for-you/
I agree with “gapa”. This reminds me of that realtor who posed someone in a panda suit in all of a house’s real estate listing photos. Obviously, this one took a LOT more work, but are we certain this is what the house has always looked like, or is this just an extremely over-the-top publicity stunt?
The current owner fancies herself a “jewelry artist”, so I don’t doubt that the clutter of the “art studio” and the other rooms is organic.
The first thing the realtor should have done was told them to depersonalize the house. Looking past a paint color in a house in one thing. I understand “Keep Austin Weird”, this goes way beyond weird. This is horrible!
DARN IT! How did I miss this gem?!?!?!