Comment of the Day: Form, Function, and Home Security

COMMENT OF THE DAY: FORM, FUNCTION, AND HOME SECURITY “Properly implemented, turrets *are* good. The problem in this particular case as well as with so many modern faux-Tuscan and faux-Chateau adaptations is that architects fail to incorporate functional support for modern defensive armament and surveilance equipment. For instance, no McMansion is truely complete without a remote-controlled servo-actuated Browning M2 machine gun hardwired to the saferoom. But that critical bit of hardware doesn’t do the least bit of good if the turret does not project out from the structure or if it is lacking a sufficient number of meurtrieres to ensure an adequate field of fire. Along similar lines, I question the lack of murder holes above the entrances to such homes; no McMansion should be complete without the capability to dump a vat of scalding hot oil onto Jehovah’s Witnesses at the mere flick of a switch.” [TheNiche, commenting on Comment of the Day: Beauty Is in the Intention of the Landholder]

2 Comment

  • And for interior furnishings, don’t forget the Scoot ‘n’ Shoot easy chair + shotgun, made famous by Radio Music Theater.

  • Hot oil is a nice touch, but nothing says ‘no soliciting’ like a moat and drawbridge. Everyone knows Jehovah’s Witnesses can’t swim.