Comment of the Day: What To Rename the Houston Astros

COMMENT OF THE DAY: WHAT TO RENAME THE HOUSTON ASTROS “Astros’ owner is considering changing their name and uniform once they join the AL? The lack of tradition I believe hurts a sports franchise. Alright, Swampies…let the names begin; The Houston Hurricanes?” [Dana-X, commenting on Headlines: IAH Expansion; Brazos River Battle]

31 Comment

  • How about a name that really reflects the ethos of Houston: “The Broken Water Mains”

  • Why the heck would we want to change the name? No thanks Crane.

  • It’s an invitation . . . should there be anyone out there wanting to see The Clay, The Subsiders or The Zoneless in scorching baseball action.

  • oh oh oh! I just thought of another name: The Faultless! cause we don’t have any. (Tectonic, I mean)

  • What’s better than the Astros??? I can’t even begin to think of a better name, unless they want to dust off the Oilers… I think I have an old hat around here somewhere.

  • If the name were to befit the current level of talent, what else but the Buffs?

  • I don’t care what the new name is but I hope they incorporate the angry building from the “Stop the Ashby Highrise” movement into the logo. Nothing says Houston to me more than fearsome condo towers.

  • @ movocelot: Actually, we’ve got lots of tectonic faults. Most of them run southwest to northeast, the consequence of the continental shelf slipping into the Gulf. Some are even visible to the naked eye, and they do affect how we engineer our infrastructure. There are also lots of faults around our salt domes, but only the oil producers really care about those.

  • Need a name that gives fans a sense of place. “Dugout Woods” or “Basewood”. Or if new parking lots require detention ponds, the team could be the “Lakes of Baseball”. Of course something with a southern feel would be best but I think “Homerun Plantation” might unintentionally ruffle some feathers.

  • Houston Grackles?

  • I’m already furious about the move to the American League. I need a witness, because if the Astros change their team name I’m definitely becoming a Texas Ranger. The thought makes me cringe.

  • The Houston Swamplots
    The Houston Dirty Bayous
    The Houston Uppity Innerloopers
    The Houston Has Been’s
    The Houston Polluters
    The Houston MoldyBeaches
    The Houston Humidifiers
    The Houston ArtsyFartsies
    The Houston Sprawling Suburbs
    The Houston Concrete Stripmalls
    The Houston Traffic Jammers
    The Houston Rappers
    The Houston High Employments
    The Houston Hobo’s
    The Houston Satellites
    The Houston Decommissioned Shuttles
    The Houston Douchebags
    The Houston exEnrons
    The Houston Kolaches
    The Houston Walmartians
    The Houston Chefs
    The Houston Floods
    The Houston Red Light Runners
    and finally…
    The Houston Wardrobe Malfunctions

  • Definitely need a minor-league name, maybe the Bulls (as in Bull Durham), or even better, I’m sure the local Skeeters wouldn’t mind the ‘major league’ team borrowing the name. We’ll need minor league-style promotions, too, like a Mustache Growing Contest, an Ugly Sweater Night, or a Salute to Indoor Plumbing. Whatever it is they call the Houston MLB team, it’s going to be terrible for years to come, and frankly I don’t give a damn what they call it.

  • Ahhhh…a new owner embracing our history with a desire to toss it out.

  • a friend of mine suggested: “maybe they can rename it the Oilers, or Comets”

  • It can only be:
    Houston Petrolpolitans (aka “Pets”)

  • Can’t they just go back to Colt .45s? If there is some sort of infringement, maybe Disastros?

  • I like the one that a woman said on the news last night: “halfastros”

    For someone who normally does not like the spotlight, Crane is about to jump right in it with this idea.

  • The Landry’s
    The Fertittas

  • Houston Lastros

  • Any sense he’ll sell the naming rights… maybe scare up a bidding war, given that the stadium’s already sold and wouldn’t want a competitor to name the team.

  • Was going to say “Swampies”, but am now on the fence between two others suggested:
    “HalfAstros” and “DisAstros”

  • The answer is obvious… the CraneRobbers!

  • Houston Sprawlers

  • They dumped “Colt .45s” because someone from Colt Firearms figured out that baseball teams sell souvenirs. Colt Firearms was perfectly OK with a bunch of pro ball players prancing around with the name “Colt .45s” on their shirts but when they started selling stuff, like toy guns, with the name on them they started protesting. Chances are that if it had come to a legal battle, HSA might well have been able to win, but it was easier and cheaper just to change the name, especially with the Dome about to open. Also, at that time there was a lot of excitement about the space program and the “future,” and Texas’ cowboy past was starting to fall out of fashion. There are stories about crates and crates of what would now be very collectible Colt .45s merchandise being bulldozed into landfills and covered over by Hofheinz employees.

  • Of course, Marmer, that makes sense re: retiring The Colts.
    Wow, The Niche, I didn’t know that we had any kind of fault that mattered. Think the frackers should be told?

  • I like the Houston Grackles.
    There could always be the Houston Cockroaches, scuttling around the bases.

  • The Houston Gassers
    The Houston Nauts

    The Houston Crimewave
    The Houston Humidity
    The Houston Flood
    The Houston Traffic

  • I always thought something that referenced an old team in a new way: the Houston Oysters