Here they are! The official nominees for the very first category of the 2010 Swamplot Awards for Houston Real Estate: Favorite Houston Design Cliché. Thanks to all of our readers who submitted suggestions!
You can cast your vote for this award category simply by adding a comment to this post indicating your choice. But why not make it more fun? Don’t just tell us who you’re voting for, tell us why!
And the nominees are . . .
1. Oval leaded glass front doors with shiny brass trim. “Much like ‘lick and stick’ stone, this is a singular design element — it seems to know no boundaries on where it is applied. They’re ugly and cheap looking, yet show up on properties in any and every style, age, and price range imaginable.”
2. Suburban office buildings touting “green” credentials. “As if throwing down a ‘green’ building 30 miles from the center of town will have any sizable impact on the carbon footprint that results from 1,000 workers driving 20 miles to work to withstand a constant 72-degree bubble. At least in theory, workers traveling Downtown have an option to use mass transportation.”
3. Poolside stone waterfall additions. “Because nothing says resort-style living like a bunch of rocks glued together with water dripping down.”
4. Lone stars. “They’re stuck to the exterior of local houses, welded into fences, topping weathervanes and incorporated into thousands of local front doors. What inspires such a need to express pride in one’s state by tacking distressed stars onto everything? Please, stop doing that. It’s not like we’re going to forget we live in Texas.”
5. Outdoor fire pits. “They seem a pretty worthless amenity, especially during the 9 months of the year when we huddle indoors with the AC running nonstop at 70 degrees or lower. When it does finally get cold enough to merit an actual fire, we have traditional fireplaces (also arguably unnecessary in Houston). At least with a traditional fireplace we can enjoy the heat and get our pyro fix without getting eaten alive by mosquitoes or inhaling smoke every time the wind changes direction. Come to think of it, I’ve never actually seen a group of people enjoyably sitting around a fire pit for any length of time, though the picture on the box suggests otherwise.”
6. Masonry-front houses. “As if no one ever will ever see all that cement-board siding in back or the sides. Can we call this one ‘Stone veneer with Hardie rear’?”
7. Mailbox mansions. “It’s like your little mailbox has its own castle. I love the fact that they usually have a curved top which mimics the shape of a USPS approved mailbox. I also love the fact that the brickmason will often remove the little red ‘flag’ from the mailbox and install it in one of the mortar courses on the outside of the new masonry structure. What happened to any notion of scale? They look bad enough when you consider them separate and apart from their surroundings, but they seem especially weird and silly when you drive through a new neighborhood and see them all standing silent sentry on the curb just waiting to perform their solemn duty of . . . holding . . . our . . . mail.”
Which of these fine nominees truly deserves recognition as Favorite Houston Design Cliché for 2010? Let the voting begin!
- How To Vote in the 2010 Swamplot Awards for Houston Real Estate [Swamplot]
- Swamplot Awards Ballots 2010 [Swamplot]