Grand Texas Theme Park: Riding a Cartoon Horse to New Caney

Meet Lasso, your mascot for the new Grand Texas Theme Park! The armed-and-friendly blond stud has been revealed as the long face of the Texas-themed theme park’s second-go-around in Texas. Back in July 2009, developer Monty Galland announced that he had a spot in Tomball for the park’s first phase to open by April 2010. Well, that was then. Now, Galland’s back — with Lasso in tow — and presenting a revised proposal to Montgomery Country leaders, reports the Tomball Potpourri: The developer’s eyeing property near New Caney, where Grand Texas might better hitch its wagon to dinosaur-friendly EarthQuest.


The Potpourri reports that that Galland is pursuing a parcel of land this time near the intersection of FM 242 and U.S. 59 — between New Caney and Splendora. The property is expected to be closed on by the end of April, with construction beginning next winter in advance of an opening date of March 12, 2015.

Nothing has been signed, sealed, or delivered, of course. But the new theme park is expected to be just one part of a Grand Texas entertainment district, says Galland, which will include a separate water park, an 8,000-seat amphitheater, and a baseball diamond. That’s on top of the 4 restaurants, 3 hotels, reception hall and chapel planned as well.

And it doesn’t seem that Galland has completely abandoned the original Tomball plan to bring “Texas history and culture” to Texas: Stated plans for the New Caney park suggest that the entertainment district will include a petting zoo and interactive exhibits for guests to drive tractors, ride horses, plant crops, and milk cows.

Images: Grand Texas Theme Park

29 Comment

  • How long have we been hearing about this thing? I’m starting to put it in the “Did you know that Disney plans on building a park outside of (insert city name here)?” category, which means it’s not true and won’t happen.

  • I’ve got a better idea. Plant a bunch of blueberries, strawberries, peaches, citrus, figs, etc. and have a giant u-pick’em farm. You could probably get financing needed from the local bank and not have to fleece Montgomery County officials anymore than they have been fleeced by the Dinoland debacle. And, I would be 100x more likely to drive up to New Caney to pick strawberries with my kids than to go to some fake Texas theme park.

  • “petting zoo and interactive exhibits for guests to drive tractors, ride horses, plant crops, and milk cows” is that not what the rodeos across the state do.

    I will go belly up within two years but on the bright side will be a great place for urban exploration after closing just like Six Flags New Orleans.

  • Where would the proposed Tomball location be?

  • At least this pseudo-proposal has an accurate rendering; cheap, boring facades and about 20 people standing around going, wtf?

  • I recognize that this is primarily an urban site, however, Lasso sure looks like a mare to me…

  • What’s another way of saying, epic fail?

  • I see a paddle wheel boat in the background. Not sure I would associate that image with much of Texas. Trying to round-up our Louisiana friends to visit? I thnk instead they need to have a continuous thirty wagon wagon-train going around in circles for in park transportation…jump on at the chapel, jump off at the saloon!

  • This is going to be as successful as the Main Street America venue in Spring where visitors pay $15 for the privilege of buying high-priced items for their home and eating high-priced food in its restaurant. What a concept! Maybe IKEA should initiate a cover charge as well.

  • Lasso? WTF?…sometimes I really hate Texas

  • Just bring back Astroworld already.

  • Please tell me what bank would provide financing for a project like this?

  • Sounds like a third rate amusement park with a god forsaken “Texas” theme. Yuck!

  • #7 – Grand Texas Theme Park.

  • The clothing on those people in the rendering looks like the 1960’s. Notice the lady with the red purse, and long black dress! How about the man with the off-white sports jacket?

  • Maybe if Lasso were more heavily armed, say with an AR-15, it would appeal more to Texans.

  • Bitch, bitch, bitch cheezy. Bitch, bitch, bitch, never happen. Bitch, bitch cheap rendering. Bitch bitch bitch fun bitch. Bitch, bitch, humidity, bitch mosquitos, bitch Houston. Boring bitch, bitch, bitch.

  • @17 – Lasso appears to be a cartoon horse, not a dog.

  • Looks like it is time for me to pick up and move out of there. Not what I wanted when I moved out of the city.

  • mollusk:


  • I well remember this from its disastrous attempt to place it in Tomball, right next to several residential developments. Monty’s presentation at the July, 2009 city council meeting was met with disdain to put it politely. When the purchase for the land fell through, it was thought these folks would quietly slink away and go on to something else. But as before, I wouldn’t put any money on this project ever seeing the light of day.

  • 3 hotels? WTF?? They’re gonna have to draw a lot more people in their picture of Main Street.

  • Anyone else hear their radio spot on the Rod Ryan show this morning? The ad made it sound like this is a done deal and that construction will start in the Fall. I clearly remember a press release from the last time saying the same thing even though the land had not been purchased and no plans had been submitted to the City of Tomball. Why does this sound like Yogi Berra’s favorite phrase, “Deja vu all over again.”

  • I agree with OLD SCHOOL…let’s make it a U-Pick Farm and leave the area beautiful…let kids learn about fresh fruits and vegetables and flowers and where they really come from! We need a local Farmer’s Market in the area…it would draw a lot of people, I’m sure! Montgomery County is a beautiful place, let’s keep it that way. Let’s say NO to this “theme park” intrusion!

  • You people sure have a lot of boring and stupid ideas. Farmer’s market? Give me a break. People love theme parks. Roller coasters are fun. Say YES to Grand Texas. And just be glad they aren’t building a refinery, smelting plant or toxic waste dump on that site instead.

  • I think it’s a good idea. Six Flags over Texas is a Texas themed amusement park and it does well. Sure Grand Texas won’t be a Six Flags to begin with, but the addition od Live Music Events and Concerts, I can see it seeing lots of success attracting POP Country Artists to perform, and perhaps not so country artists as well? I like the educational value as well. If priced right, I could see schools from all over houston area scheduling visits.

  • I am very upset over the prospect that the town that i have lived in my whole life is going to change so drastically.It is beautiful here and i think we could do better for our area than to tear down the beautiful woods and destroy the land that the wildlife uses. I have always loved the small town country feel of my hometown.I don’t want to lose that. I don’t believe that the so called “progress” will be good for New Caney. yes the job growth will be nice but not worth the high taxes and crime that will surely come along with it. i know that i am not the only one that feels this way. If and/or when it does get finished i fear i will have to leave the town i love because i refuse to live in a city. it makes me very sad to even think about.

  • None of this adds up: A theme park of sight attractions that encompasses a petting zoo, horseback rides(high liability), wake board lake(high liability) which is next to a very large lake(Lake Houston), a few roller coasters, a down scale waterpark/which appears to be more of a splash pad, an upscale RV park that is currently for sale before the property is ever purchased, next to a local government whose mayor was arrested and has tried to annex every surrounding parcel of land, whose main backer for the area is an improvement district that has skated investigation for Dinoworld misappropriation of funds, and top it off with the sale of 1 share of stock cost $200,000 and yields a 12%. There is no revenue to back this venture at the price they are anticipating selling tickets at. Please, let me not forget the prospect of getting a AAA baseball team when Houstonians won’t even watch a Major League team. The cool part is that the concerts will be limited to 85 dbs(about that of heavy traffic volume). Something is wrong with the picture. I have a sinking suspension this property once bought will turn into a different development then currently advertised.

    BTW, the “group” that is bringing this to everyone is a 1 person group(Mr. Galland). Everyone else that he is listing are not investors but merely consultants. This is a 1 man operation.

  • If this place brings jobs to the local people in splendora and newcaney area then bring it on .We are ready