Theresa Roemer Will Part with Her Opulent, Drama-Filled 3-Story Closet (and the Woodlands Mansion It Comes in) for $12.9 Million

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

Listing her home caps a whirlwind 5 months for Theresa Roemer. Back in June, The Woodlands socialite threw open the doors to her 3-story, 3,000-sq.-ft., $500k “she-cave” to a blogger from Neiman-Marcus, a move that would eventually attract both scorn and “You go, girl!” sentiments from around the world.

A burglar struck soon thereafter, and then attempted to blackmail her by threatening to tell the world that at least some of the haul of allegedly designer goods from her opulent trove were mere fakes, a threat the as-yet-unapprehended thief eventually carried out.

Around the same time, Roemer sued her estranged stepson for defamation of character. That matter has since settled, but the upheaval isn’t over: Roemer is now selling her home in the Carlton Woods subdivision of The Woodlands.

And when we say Roemer is selling her house, we mean just that: she is the listing agent for the 17,315 sq.-ft., 9-10 bedroom, 10 full and three half-bath, one 3-story closet manse at 47 Grand Regency Dr. The asking price: $12.9 million.

You’ve seen the pics on teevee, Culturemap and on newspapers from around the world. Here are real-live listing pics, and not just of the closet, but the whole house!


Here we are peering down the floating staircase towards a lower level of the closet, basking in the warm glow of a Swarovski crystal chandelier…

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

“Glamor abounds” around the second-level wet bar in Roemer’s sanctum sanctorum. Roemer has said she has hosted many a fund-raiser in her closet. (Indeed, she has said that charity is the main reason it exists.)

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

But it’s not all champers and canapes; the closet is eminently functional, warmly-lit and offering an abundance of storage space and a dressing station.

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

The his closet is no slouch. Feast your eyes on that natural lighting!

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

Tearing ourselves away from the she-cave, we approach the grand entryway, illuminated by a chandelier hand-made by Egyptian craftsmen:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

A waterwall soothes guests in the formal dining room, but alas, the lions do not convey:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

Uncork a selection from the wall o’ wine and rest easy in the tasting room:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

The family room with 20-foot ceilings and a huge window, warmed by a fireplace:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

A view of the hot tub and pool, tucked in among the tall pines The Woodlands is so famous for:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

Offer your guests a libation from the back-lit wet bar all you like, but you will have to provide your own portrait of yourself amid oil derricks and Bentleys:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

One of two islands in the kitchen archipelago…

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

…and here we see them both: Hands off the candy!

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

The capacious catering kitchen, capable of office conversion for those who might prefer more intimate dinner parties:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

The master suite, with its sweeping views of the grounds:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

Banana bushes offer organic privacy to the Italian marble shower, with dual rain heads and an assortment of additional jets:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

Lighted steps assure safe passage to this wet bar in a second-floor, balcony-accessible den:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

Light from the Egyptian chandelier dances off the silver-leafed, custom-built wrought-iron railing:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

A second-floor living room sporting ebonized hardwood floors and a view of the Egyptian chandelier:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

This second-floor aerie offers commanding views of the hot action on the links at the adjacent Jack Nicklaus Signature Carlton Woods golf course:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

Why so cirrus? Inhale the wonders of the nature-like surroundings on this balcony high above the pool:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

A touch of folksy downhome charm dwells in this secondary bedroom with balcony access:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

Guests can enjoy twin sinks and a walk-in closet in this bathroom:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

The spa is accessible via the elevator or one of the home’s 3 stairways:

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

The double-leveled media room…

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

Midnight snackers and/or tipplers need not toddle all the way to the kitchens downstairs. The third-floor snack bar comes with a mini-fridge, sink, microwave and abundant storage.

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

A waterwall and fountains burble away around the lap-sized pool.

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

The poolside veranda is lit by two chandeliers and a fireplace.

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

The outdoor summer kitchen, with grill, wet bar and TV.

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

All that, plus the closet that shocked the world!

47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas


47 Grand Regency Cir., The Woodlands, Texas

Scene of the Crime

42 Comment

  • I believe “gauche” is the word I’m looking for.

  • This lady is a delusional walking joke, they bought this house for 3.6 mln last year and are asking for 12? I bet this is a stunt to put an image out there that she’s still rich (which she obviously isn’t because all her stuff is fake). Nobody will ever buy that house at that price.

  • P.S. She’s her own listing agent because no sane agent would list it at that price without being fired. Just more evidence that it’s the latest stunt in her fantasy land.

  • My goal is to be rich but not have anyone know. Clearly she’s working on a different objective.

  • The home’s entry and foyer remind me of an S&L office from the mid 1980’s.

  • I’m not a person that’s into all the “rich bashing” that seems to be so popular now. However, it really is weird to have a picture of yourself posed like that in your closet.

  • This sort of disgusting self indulgence is pathetic. These Dr.’s going over fighting Ebola and Marie Antoinette from the sticks is building 3000 square foot closets for her knock offs. She’s the kind of person that stiffs the waiter on her 100 dollar steak or gives her maids one of her knock offs for Christmas and letting poor Consuela think it’s real (little does she know, Consuela, being from Guatemala, can spot a knock off from 50 feet)

  • It’s totally over the top, but that catering kitchen is to die for.

  • Where is the Guillotine when you need it?

  • Well, i have to say that i like the lighting fixtures. Otherwise, it might as well be some high end Marriott.

  • I just would like the article author to know that “Why so cirrus” was not lost on me.

    *Golf clap*

  • Her checkbook(Husband) is in the energy business- maybe a casualty of $60 oil or a divorce!!

  • I don’t typically assess $10M+ houses for move-in, but if I had to – – I could make something out of this one….

  • it appears to be one giant presentation space

    which is fine if you’re into that sort of thing

  • She could hold a fundraiser in that shower.

  • A lot of New Money home owners never realize the daily upkeep needed for a mansion like that Finding quality live-in staff must be a PITA.

  • So the place is over the top etc…..? Is that somehow unique to Houston? Look on at a lot of the houses in River Oaks and The Villages. Lack of taste is hardly exclusive to the suburbs. And who cares what she spends her money on? Yes the closet is excessive and what difference does it make whether it is real of fake. It isn’t like she’s gifting any of it to any of you. At least this place isn’t a testimony to Texas French.

  • Okay, forget about any comments about the price, is it too much… or the owner, is she a nut…
    All that aside, I have to say, this house is insane…. It’s not where I’d want to live — but it’s an awesome home.

  • Some of the rooms look very inviting, but others remind me of a high-end department store. I do like the entryway tile.

  • What a fright. Who decorated that place? With the right furniture and general decor it could be rather nice. Then let Nordstrom open a store in the closet. With the rent, the house would practically pay for itself, *and* everything in the closet would be legit!

  • “Living simply…so other can simply live”. I think I saw her at Houston Food Bank doing some volunteer work.

  • I used to review properties like this (for a publication that must go un-named.) As I’m going through these pictures i am, as always, struggling to imagine a real person *living* in such a place. Most often, it’s not the number of square feet that gets me, but what is done with it. I’ve seen oodles of these incredibly cold, sterile, hollow homes, with just such gosh-awful decor that it doesn’t seem possible that anyone could ever be truly comfortable there. The rooms seem practically condescending and dismissive instead of charming and inviting! I can’t picture anyone spending any time in any of those rooms. There was a weak attempt at casual comfort in the media room, but the furniture is completely out of harmony with the Art Deco walls and lighting. I just don’t get it. Though the snack bar is genius.

    By the way, I had never heard of this woman before. Thanks for tuning me in to the fascinating drama! (That’s not sarcasm.)

  • Just as she’s free to decorate like Za Za, we’re free to criticize her abhorrent taste and lack of class. She brags about her assine closet, so it’s comical that it’s full of knockoffs. She’s free and we’re free, so what’s your point, JT.

  • WHO is the burglar from New York? Guess this one was too much for the sheriff’s dept. By the way,
    Dominique, chron, etc . . . . who stole Joel Osteen’s collection plate money? No reporting in this town.

    possibly both were INS FRAUD

  • so how many wet bars does that total? sheesh.

  • Has anyone else noticed there’s not a rug anywhere in that house? Those marble floors and high ceilings must make for some incredible echos if this woman clops through the place in high heels.

  • @Jaybird re: fraud.. probably yes for Roemer but I doubt Osteen needs to worry about committing insurance fraud as his flock of suckers probably drops 5 or 6 figures in the collection plate every weekend.

  • Points for “why so cirrus” and “kitchen archipelago”.

  • LOL.. Shannon you have me cracking up “Marie Antoinette from the sticks”??? CTFU

    Cody I agree, this home is gorgeous. The decor is way too hotel like for my tastes but it’s an amazing home minus the washer and dryer part near the kitchen.

    JT, you are correct this is nothing unlike some homes in RO / Memorial

  • There’s a reason the home has four wet bars…

  • My point is probably as relevant as making an analogy to Ebola or speculaion to her relationship with her maid. Perhaps I should have said that she could spend every last dollar she has as an homage to herself and it would not make the least bit of difference to me anymore than those who create foundations for education, the arts or disease etc……bully for them.

  • The problem with owning a home like this is that when the revolution comes, you will be one of the first called before the tribunal.

  • Oldschool- have you seen the price of oil? That might be why she’s unloading it, cake and all.

  • Wonderful home! Wow, very clean lines and relaxing. There sure are a lot of unhappy people posting comments here. In fact I think ENVY describes most of the comments posted below…

  • @artfox, you said it: being able to afford something means that you can afford to maintain it, not just to make payments on the purchase price.

  • The pic of this entry reminds me of this scene from the ’80s movie, Maid to Order:

  • The Air-Conditioned Nightmare Revisited

  • That huge shower is mine!! Theresa sure does have a lot of haters…. must be doing something right

  • The price is now down to 9 million. I guess reality has hit Ms. Roemer has unloaded,oops I men sold her pile. And the price will continue to drop. I’ve seen smaller but better designed /located homes sit on the market for 2+years,with price reductions. The owners allow their realtors trick them into having a huge initial asking price.The months later the price keeps dropping to meet the market.@ CREBBQ: yes, gauche is exactly h ow to describe the fakeness that is Ms. Roemer and her gaudy house… There are quite a lot of these huge 15,2025 sq. ft… ugly monsters in the Woodlands/Montgomery county. Just plain tacky and crass..

  • typo: last sentence- I guess reality has hit Ms.Roemer and she has not unloaded ,oops I mean,sold thsi horrid pile…

  • The hatin’ in this case is fully justified, her house is worth $3.5 Mln on a good day and is mortgaged to the hilt. All her jewelry and purses are fake as so scandalously demonstrated during the staged robbery PR stunt that went wrong. She’s not trying to sell it for 9mln, she’s trying to hang into the last shred of her fake wealth status among her housewife friends by listing it so high.