Upscale Tomball Nightspot Doubles as Cozy 7-Bedroom Family Home

Hey, you showed up early! Nobody’s here yet, but pull on up and we’ll show you around anyway:


We’ll have the rope out a bit later. Come on in!

Frances starts playing around 10-10:30, usually.

Get a load of the VIP suites:

Next time, bring the little ones along! We’ve got folks to look after them in back.

Sell the place? Sure, for just under a million.

19 Comment

  • Add the Russkie with the miniature giraffe and your set.

  • Do people actually aspire to living in places like this? If so there must be a name for that condition and medicine to help cure it.

  • omigosh I want to go to a party there!

  • Bubba: What makes you say that? I’d love to have a house like that. I’m just not willing to trade the area I live in to get it.

  • Exactly! This place would have awesome parties! Think of a New Year’s Eve Party or something similar with a few dozen people! Would be great!

  • Why must there be so much ugly?

  • I thought it couldn’t get any worse and then, BOOM, there’s a black toilet.

  • I thought it couldn’t get worse than that black toilet…

    Then I saw the purple lights.. wtf.

  • Mediterranean?

  • I’d need roller skates to get around in that place.

  • Nice portrait of James Dean over the bed.

  • So, I’m looking at all the pictures thinking, “Wow, nice. Nice, hey, I have those pendant lights (only in clear, not blue [they’re not purple, they just photographed that way]. Nice granite, nice—ohh, that’s an unattractive, early 80s look. Okay, nice—oops! Another miss… But not too bad. Clearly these people have money. Okay, that one’s not my taste, but I can tell it’s expens—WAIT! WHAT? You cheaped out on the washer and dryer? You spent god knows how much (too much) on some tacky-ass granite and pimp-daddy air hockey table, but when it came time for the washer and dryer, the thing that saves you money on your electric, water, dry cleaning, and clothing costs, you threw down a cold $150? WTH?”

  • Also? Who really needs a dual staircase?

    (No, really—who?) I mean, driving a Lamborghini is less douchey than having a dual, curving staircase. Those things are only good for wedding photos. And the Titanic. And we all know how that turned out.

  • Did someone just get traded from the Rockets?

  • I’ve driven past this house on Hufsmith-Kohrville often, and wondered what it was like inside. Having 1 side of the property on that very busy road seems like a fairly big negative.

  • That staircase is screaming for a Mel Brooks musical number.

  • “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

    Really?? Jesus is cool and all, but it seems a little weird to quote Him in front of such excess.

  • Is it me, or does $949,000 seem like actually a really good price for a 6,000 sq.ft. home on 68,400 sq.ft. of land?

  • @Brandon – yes, for Tomball, that really isn’t bad.

    For River Oaks, it would be a BARGAIN, but of course, it isn’t River Oaks.

    There are several TRASHY properties within a few thousand feet of this property.