Neighborhood Guessing Game: Home Theater

Who do we have to thank for this one? The Swamplot reader who suggested this property — and the Rice Design Alliance, for sponsoring the prize for the winner. That’s right: If you guess the location of this home correctly, you’ll win a one-year individual membership in the Rice Design Alliance!

If more than one player guesses the correct location, the prize will go to the player who provided the best explanation for the guess.

What if you already know this home? What if you find the listing? Please don’t spill the beans and ruin the game for everyone else. Instead, send Swamplot an email with a link to the listing — so we’ll know what you’re doing. Then post an incorrect guess, but try to be convincing when you make it, to throw the other players off. If you do this well, you’ll win special recognition for your efforts when the prize is announced. And if no one guesses the actual neighborhood, that RDA membership could be yours!

Ready to see more of this place? Let’s take a little peek behind the curtain!


Where is this place? Well, surely you’ve been to someplace like it before . . . ?

Okay, that’s all you get to see for now! Time to add your guess to the comments, below. The answer will be posted right here, on Thursday!

Update, 8/27: Ready to peek behind the curtain for the answer?

Photos: HAR

51 Comment

  • Oh my, I think I just threw up a little…


  • I think I’d know how to get IN the tub; just not sure how to get OUT.

  • ugly staging made worse by bad photography.

  • Wow, a bar cart full of empty crystal decanters, a floral wallpapered accent wall in the entry, a load bearing bookshelf wall in the living room and a DIY home theater room replete with movie-themed wallpaper and what appears to be an exterior exit door (and exit sign)? This could be one of 1,000 places, but I’m going to guess far out memorial, somewhere outside the beltway

  • Gus, this is one of the best ones yet. Now they can’t be blind, because apparently they like to watch movies. There just is no accounting for taste. At least the ….
    theeeayder chairs match. How about is this in South Houston?

  • CK, I thought the same thing about the chairs until I looked at the back row- it looks like they also have a set of old airplane seats…

  • Oooh good catch Christina…. those are coach, the ones in front get the buttered popcorn and the skittles

  • You got Memorial right, but this isn’t far out Memorial. It’s probably in the villages, maybe Bunker Hill or Piney Point. This is an old ranch house that hasn’t really been touched in many many years. Less a matter of bad taste and more a matter of not spending any money on the house. I just can’t figure out why all of the blinds are closed when there are such nice tall trees outside the windows.

  • What an absolutely hideous house. For some reason, I immediately thought of the area around Bellfort and Broadway, but it could be in any dump. Gack.

  • This is D.B. Cooper’s house! He’s been laying low, watching movies, for all the years since walking to Houston. The plane seats fell out when he jumped with all that cash, and he dragged them all the way here because they were all he had left in the world… besides enough money to pay cash for this new home in Oak Ridge North in 1978. The entry looks like hi-rise building because he’s closed up windows – verrrrry private man. The theatre has a steel half-light door – it’s the remodeled 2-car garage.

  • Can’t top movocelot’s guess, that was inspired.

    But again this week with the crazy Memorial guesses! I don’t see this place in any of the villages, even Spring Valley. I think it’s a mixed residential/commercial, rather than a built-out garage, because of the exit sign and ceiling tiles/recessed florescent lighting. But I can’t figure out how to reconcile the theater space with the rest of the house. This one is just weird. I’m going to say South Houston (as in the city of) because I can’t reconcile its presence either.

  • Ack! These photos! The giant pixels buuurrrn myyyy eyyyez! Oh, the contrasssst!

    Sorry. I got distracted. Where do you find big ol’ ranches with sliding glass doors, MCM-ish details, and elderly residents? I’m surprised at all the outlying suburb guesses. I’m saying Meyerland, maybe on the border of Westbury. Those airplane seats look like first class chairs, maybe from a de-comm’ed 727 or 707.

  • I’m actually thinking more north than most of the posters. I’m thinking the New Caney/Roman Forest/Porter area.

    The layout of the house reminds me of theirs. Except way less tacky.

  • Humble/Porter/New Caney, of course.

  • I’m going with Katy on one of those alphabet avenues. It looks like it was built from a discount kit or just a bunch of junk collected over the years from “dead people”.
    Love the black spray painted industrial ceiling tiles. You catch a buzz and you end up with a cool looking home tee-atrer. These people should be banned from home decorating for life.

  • Does the ‘Exit’ sign in the movie theater stay with the house?

  • I’m gonna gues Pasa-get-down-dena.

  • This has to be owned by a widower who waited patiently for his lovely bride to pass on so he could finally put in the home theater of his dreams. He had the King Kong poster for a couple of decades, just waiting oh so patiently. Seriously, there can’t be a woman in the house — look at the way the throw pillows are placed on the couch. Only a man — a retired engineer, perhaps — would place the pillows equidistantly apart. I guess Glenbrook Valley.

  • Northwest between Hollister and Sam Houston tollway.

  • Smells like, Clear Lake?

  • Believe it or not, I think it may be a townhouse… Small proportions, galley kitchen, and potential sets for a porn production! Wait, that last part must be in my mind… Anyways, this sweet little fixer upper is located in the fine, fine area just outside BW8 around Briar Forrest.
    This tight little pad is owned by a pilot for Southwest who has had a special lady in every town. Now he’s tracking down those ladies, financed by this house, to trace the origination of that uhhmmmmm… rash. Let the hijinks begin as he learns the true meaning of life and how being a father can help him become a man… Awe….

  • I’m going to date this icky little ranchette to 1968-72. Gotta love that semi custom home builder dining room chandelier and the unusual kitchen cabinetry. I’m guessing this one is n the Fondren Southwest vicinity.

  • Are those baskets of children’s toys in the theater, next to the pinball machine and the gold columns?

    This nauseating mishmash of flowered chintz, grandpa furniture, greenish oak paneling, po-mo pink & blue and of course the splendid DIY Home Theeeayter (what’s with the red paint, did someone have dreams of the Celestial Suite Barnum & Bailey Room?) could, indeed, be anywhere — a neglected rancher in the Villages, PawPaw’s place outside the North Belt, any subdivision circa 1970. The shiny wallpaper in the wet bar area confirms this. Swamplot reader guesses above have covered the spectrum. I don’t think it’s a townhouse because of the many windows in the kitchen area. Who knows? Not me, this week.

  • I think it is Michael Jackson’s house. The stage, the arcade games, and the toys…..that has to be Michael Jackson’s house.

  • Not so much my best guess but a wish….I really really hope this house is somewhere very close to Blue Ridge Mountain. And I hope it gets covered up very soon.

  • Wow! Can someone eexplain that tub? Is that a step in the front or a drainage area. Even with a step that tub is a great place for an accident to happen. I bet Mee Maw and Pea Paw have not used that in years. The location is Alvin.

  • Somewhere in Alief.

  • My favorite is that kitchen design that looks into the living room. At least it did before they put up more cabinets and a giant stain glass frame… I also would never have guessed this owner to be a wine drinker (notice wine cooler next to movie wallpaper) especially when you consider the bottle of McCormick vodka and cheese sticks(?) in the same picture..
    Someone had to put a lot of time and effort into making the house look this way. I don’t think this house is far our in the suburbs. I’m going to venture a guess of TC Jester or Ella Blvd near 610.

  • Built in the Early Tacky period, somewhere south of Hell, this fine unit has been languishing on the market forev. I know that’s a little vague on date and place, but it’s all I can take this early in the morning.

  • This is southwest side.. Park Glen maybe as far out as Meadwocreek/Quail Valley. Little updating because they raised their family within their means and focused on spending time together. The neighborhood has changed around them, the family grown, now it is time to move on as well.

  • The Cinema is a winna, Ma!
    The movie palace used to be a garage. They now have a corrogated roof carport.
    But these people also have a lot of books, most of them larger than paerback size. If I ever appear on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, they will be one of my lifelines.

    Oak Forest.

  • Or somewhere across Hempstead from Delmar Stadium near Freed Park.

  • Oh my god, is this an interesting house. I can’t for the life of me figure out why every single window is covered. This house looks like Maplewood South, say Cheena or Valkeith. This house is in need of both an exorcist and a garage sale.

  • I would think that the theater exit sign (which is my favorite part of the house) is placed there to make it look more like a real theater… authentic!

    This style of bad taste usually hangs out in the suburbs. I am going to guess… Sugar Land.

  • this is in pearland, and the whoever lives here better have registered as a sex offender in this neighborhood. I see buffalo bill coming over for dinner and doing to the tuck on the stage for Lester the Molester after they have finished eating whatever child they had kidnapped, with a side of farva beans.

  • Wow! Child-Mollesting Kidnapper… and I felt bad about insinuating an STD…

  • Fercryinoudloud! This is getting ugly.
    I’m telling you, these are well read movie buffs who love to entertain and simply happen to be color-blind.

  • has to be on the north side of town. I’m saying Northampton in spring – lots of folks moved up there in the 70’s to big ol’ houses in the woods – don’t think much has changed in this charmer (except for the addition of that stunning theater room)

  • Why would you put a cooktop underneath a kitchen window? Even if it’s a downdraft cooktop, I’d feel more comfortable with the traditional kitchen sink underneath that window. Plus, the tile floors look somewhat newer, possibly replacing linoleum or carpet in some parts. What was dead on was movocelot’s guess that the makeshift home theater was the converted garage. With the amount of paneling still intact in the living room, I’m going to guess the house was built in the 70s, and judging by the kitchen cabinets and countertops, I’m going to go against my better judgement and say 1977.

    You can notice details of upgrades here and there, mostly noticed by the mirror and sink/counter in the hall bath, which looks to be the same material underneath the bottle of McCormick vodka…

    This house has the look of one that would be outside of the beltway. However, I’m going to take a guess here and say this one is in the Inwood area.

  • It’s pretty ooglie, but despite that and wherever the hell it is, I think I prefer it to the $1.9M Price Adjuster condo.

  • There are so many places this could be, its hard to choose just one. But it strongly resembles a lot of the homes I saw when I lived in the Clear Lake area. Probably built in the 60s, and redecorated by the second wife (who had theatrical aspirations) in the mid 80s, judging from the abundance of floral crap and faux greenery. The toys belong to the visiting step-grandchildren. That sunken tub probably hasn’t been used in years.

    I’m going to place this in Oakbrook West, or possibly the older sections of Friendswood. Whoever lives there is retired, has been in that house a LONG time, and takes “home theater” just a little too seriously. Anyone who would do that with what seems to be a renovated garage has WAY too much time on their hands. Good luck selling this litte gem!

  • Baytown
    Deerpark….or any Coen brother movie.

  • The tub is actually my favorite part of this house. I’m a sucker for those little mosaic tiles. I have no clue where this monster is. I’ll guess Sharpstown.

  • i am saying pasadena…i have never been there but when i think of what homes look like there…this is what i see…. except that through the window u can see it looks very green hmmmm…and that movie room has to not be connected… like a shed or garage…its awful…

  • Hubby is lifelong Houstonian and he swears this is the same houseplan as the one he grew up in. Of course, the one he grew up in wasn’t decorated quite like this one! Anyway, he says this house is NW Houston: Candlelight Plaza or Shepherd Park Terrace.

  • This elderly gentleman is obviously fed up with the constant building of new communities around him. All of the windows are closed off, there are enough books to fill a small, local library, and to finish it all off, he’s built his own personal media room in the garage. Paradise!!

    I’m placing this house somewhere off 2920, between 249 north and I-45 north.

  • I’m going with the older part of Champions, say Huntwick. Interesting comment Tara, you should get out more and form your own reality based opinions of our fair city; believe it or not there are still a few architectural treasures in Pasadena as well as one of the areas best nature reserves.

  • these comments crack me up.

    I’m guessing it’s somehwere SE.. Deer Park.

  • There are areas of Deerpark? I though it was just in a refinery and not in a refinery…

  • Can’t find it in my heart to chastise such obvious film/book buffs. Even the spice rack says “Cabaret!”. I want him on my Trivial Pursuit Movie Edition team. He’ll drive in from his home off Wilcrest below Lakewood. Hope he doesn’t pick up a DWI along the way – most of those bottles appear to be empty.