“I’d need to get in shape to move into this house,” writes the Swamplot reader who sent in this listing for one of those new $million-plus homes in the fenced-off Caceres compound wedged between Reinerman, Feagan, and Detering streets in the West End.
Is this stucco structure really five stories tall?
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If you count the roof deck and outdoor kitchen.
- 5235 Calle Montilla [HAR]
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but that place is actually pretty cool.
Those stairs are a death trap.
5 floors and a total of ~4K sq ft. that’s about 800 sq ft per floor.. Add in a staircase, you’re not getting much living area per floor.
that’s got to be a tall, skinny place!
I’m guessing floors 1 (mostly garage) and 5 (almost all outdoor deck) do not contribute much to the overall square footage.
I made a wrong turn the other night and came upon this compound shining in the darkness. I must confess, it is sight to behold. I like it.
These are striking homes and certainly are a departure from the standard schlocky townhomes in the greater Rice Military neighborhood. Thank God for elevators!!
Quite elegant. Something you don’t find in many townhouses even in this price range. This and Cheyne Walk are worth every penny. Which is a lot of pennies to be worth.
I find these structures repulsive for two reasons:
First, these yuppie towers of Babel have the woeful aesthetics of every other rat trap in the Washington Corridor.
Second, elegance is reserved for more distinguished neighbors in River Oaks.
Photos taken by a greasy real estate agent and obtuse commentary will not change this. That is all.
It’s like Amsterdam! And those Dutch are tall, skinny people, Bill.
At least it’s not Mediterranean.
“From Landed Gent:
I find these structures repulsive for two reasons:
First, these yuppie towers of Babel have the woeful aesthetics of every other rat trap in the Washington Corridor.
Second, elegance is reserved for more distinguished neighbors in River Oaks.
Photos taken by a greasy real estate agent and obtuse commentary will not change this. That is all.”
Could you come off as possibly any more obnoxious than this?
I guess rooftop kitchens are cool, but I’d rather just carry cooked food up to the roof than carry a bunch of uncooked food up to the roof and have to cook it up there and carry all the junk back downstairs. I suppose it’s different if you’re grilling, but then you could just put a big Weber up there.
Don’t worry about the rooftop kitchen; the servants will get used to it.
I think this is cool and i hope the future owner invites me to a party there.
And I would totally get nekkid up on that roof. Often.
They are on my Lottery List.
Landed Gent is probably some dork living in a tacky Harold Farb apartment community with a world class comic book collection.
I’m curious how they built this. Single family residences with more than 3 stories must be built to the Houston (commercial) Building Code not the Residential Code. Therefore, 2 stairs are required. Additionally, the building must be sprinklered.
Am I the only one who reads Landed Gent’s posts as sarcastic?
From CK:
“From Landed Gent:
I find these structures repulsive for two reasons:
First, these yuppie towers of Babel have the woeful aesthetics of every other rat trap in the Washington Corridor.
Second, elegance is reserved for more distinguished neighbors in River Oaks.
Photos taken by a greasy real estate agent and obtuse commentary will not change this. That is all.â€
Could you come off as possibly any more obnoxious than this?
LANDED GENT IS RIGHT. There’s no historical precedence for this monstrosity–at least not outside the Washington or Midtown corridors.
I really wish Gus would ban Landed Gent’s IP address. He’s just a troll that tries to use hyperbolistic class-based rhetoric to elicit a response. He contributes nothing to a discussion and distracts people from the genuine conversation.
I love the spanish\stucco architectural style. The “summer” kitchen on the 5th floor is more likely to be used in the spring/fall/winter than summer.
RE: Landed Gent – I enjoy reading his provocative comments but do not take them seriously. Keep em coming.
I’m curious how they built this. Single family residences with more than 3 stories must be built to the Houston (commercial) Building Code not the Residential Code. Therefore, 2 stairs are required. Additionally, the building must be sprinklered.
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Didn’t you learn anything from the ongoing disaster on Bissonnet? Ordinances in this city are NOT applied across-the-board but are applied under-the-table as in how much the developer slides under the table.
Well, I now know what it would be like to live in the Carillon Shopping Center. This place is pretty interesting and it would be awesome on that roof deck. Too bad I’d have to make my son wear mittens all the time ‘cuz this place has way too many glistening white surfaces for his crusty little hands. I don’t think I’d invite President Camacho to a party, but I share his sentiment. First Lady Camacho has a standing invite.
Landed Gent probably lives in a squalid room in his mother’s trailer, but he most definitely wears an ascot.
Landed Gent probably lives in a squalid room in his mother’s trailer, but he most definitely wears an ascot.
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Now there’s another possible “solution” for the developers of 1717 Bissonnet. Turn it into a trailer park. They really don’t need to build the hirise at this point. They will make far more in the end off the lawsuit than they will the hirise. So put the land to good use. And some good karma.
From CK:
“From Landed Gent:
I find these structures repulsive for two reasons:
First, these yuppie towers of Babel have the woeful aesthetics of every other rat trap in the Washington Corridor.
Second, elegance is reserved for more distinguished neighbors in River Oaks.
Photos taken by a greasy real estate agent and obtuse commentary will not change this. That is all.â€
Could you come off as possibly any more obnoxious than this?
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It is precisely Landed Gent’s absurd snobbishness, unearned attitude of privilege, and random RPGs of unadulterated class warfare that make him an entertaining and valuable contributor. Just remember not to feed the trolls.
Thank you RWB. My sentiments exactly. C’mon people – how could you possibly take anything seriously that comes from someone calling themselves “Landed Gent?” Tongue, meet cheek.
And as for the house – I lurve that roof deck. But agree that there is an intimidating level of white paint to keep up with.
I rarely express sympathy for anyone, however, after reading these nonsensical comments, I feel sorry for the folks who attack a visionary with an understanding of good taste, a touch of class and the audacity to challenge the notions of a few spoiled brats. That is all.
Well I for one like it. It reminds me of Las Hadas in Manzanillo. Which was quite elegant before Hollywood discovered it. And I am very classy, Mr. Landed Gent, and fun to boot. I used to ride my skateboard down Chalon Road to the Hotel Bel-Air for lunch. That was my contribution to energy conservation. Betsy Bloomingdale only allowed the servants to run the self-cleaning ovens at midnight. I rode my skateboard down Chalon Road for lunch. I guess that makes me a visionary as well. Skateboards don’t use energy. Although of course I always had someone drive me back after lunch. But at least I saved some energy. Viva Las Hadas.
To expand upon Matt M’s comment:
1717 Bissonnet could be developed with trailer-homes (ex-fed-Katrina?) installed VERTICALLY and pay homage to Cadillac Ranch, to boot.
Save the trees, save the trailers.
Why not a 23 story trailer park? Have some imagination along with some innovation. Just install a huge freight elevator and rent the pads. The higher you go, the more expensive the pad. Oh, the thought of all those beer cans littering Ashby. Delights me no end.
omg! and it could rotate, like a giant TV aerial, so all the units had the same exposure.
I’m curious how they built this. Single family residences with more than 3 stories must be built to the Houston (commercial) Building Code not the Residential Code. Therefore, 2 stairs are required. Additionally, the building must be sprinklered.
———–————–
there are sprinklers and an elevator ( with stairs also), so meets commercial/resi codes
What a turd.
Ooooo, how about each dwelling has its own, dedicated colored spotlights, so at night the entire compound could look like a box of Good n Fruity.
omg! and it could rotate, like a giant TV aerial, so all the units had the same exposure.
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That would also allow the beer cans to be evenly distributed I guess. Depending on how fast it rotated, well, everyone could place bets on how far the beer can flew. They would have to make sure everyone’s trailer was completely secured before the fun began. That would be an interesting dispatch call from 911 though. “Flying trailer reported over Ashby and Bissonnet headed south.”
Ooooo, how about each dwelling has its own, dedicated colored spotlights, so at night the entire compound could look like a box of Good n Fruity.
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That’s more Acapulco than Manzanillo. This is more Manzanillo than Acapulco. So far anyway.
Now that I think about Las Hadas, you would think they would have done a better job with the landscaping. Needs more hibiscus and philodendron/rhododenron and ginger and of course lots of bougavillea. The little suburban hedges have got to go.