07/17/17 11:15am

Having a little trouble navigating through that 5-bedroom house at 4302 Colony West Dr., packed full of a dizzying array of odds, ends, puppets, paintings, and plants? Never fear — here’s a walkthrough of the property, which has been an object of fascination for well over half a dozen Swamplot readers this morning (several of whom laud the home’s potential as a horror movie setting). That sentiment is fueled at least in part by the full spread of mannequins and large dolls dispersed throughout the various settings of the home (from front yard to back, floor to ceiling, and in various states of undress). Let’s start with the lone capped figure standing guard at the gate to the 2-acre property, just listed for $1.275 million:

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Hanging Out by Jones Creek
06/30/17 10:30am

We only count 1 basketball court, 1 stuffed elk head, and 3 faux finishes in the 9.74-acre setup at 17020 Cypress Rosehill Rd. —previously kinda-sorta-abandoned by Anna Nicole Smith (the listing agent tells the Chronicle’s Fernando Ramirez) during some part of the bankruptcy proceedings that followed her billionaire husband’s death (and the news that she might not inherit). But maybe the relatively tame suburban stylings aren’t so surprising, given that the property has been de-vandalized, remodeled, and expanded by the current owners since the home’s last sale in 1998 (years before Smith’s death, the posthumous Supreme Court ruling, and the debut of the opera cataloguing a few of the more storybook-scandalous aspects of her life).

The property, “income-generating equestrian operation” and all, is up for sale now for $2.842 million. Also new, since Smith’s departure: a modest backyard sports complex (including a gym building, multi-use court, and putting green). Make the full circuit:

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Room to Horse Around