THE WHOLE POINT OF PLAYING HOUSE AS A KID “When I get emails from blog readers asking me how can they get their husband to ‘let’ them paint their brown paneling or the dining room table, I always repeat what that therapist told me all those years ago. My advice is simple. Ask your husband out to dinner. Tell him you want to discuss something important with him. Make sure he has a nice sized drink at dinner. Start out with a question. Ask him what our therapist asked: ‘what games did you play when you were little?’ Tell him what you played. Make sure you tell him how much you respect him and what he does for the family. Explain that you want the same respect. Tell him that you have studied magazines and décor for years and know exactly how you want your house to look like. Ask him to understand that it is your lifelong dream to have that beautiful house. Ask him if he can say the same? Ask him to trust your taste. Above all, don’t raise your voice and don’t argue. State your cause in a mature, reasonable tone. This isn’t a fight, you are merely opening up his eyes to who you really are and what you really want. Most likely your husband will see how serious you are and will be willing to give up his jewel toned walls, ceiling fans, and leather sectional.” — Joni Webb, writing in Antique Shops and Designers [Cote de Texas]
Sign up for the Newsletter
Joni must be a Yankee becuase cieling fans are de rigueur in this city.
PRINT IT
wow! thank you sooo much! I was worried I would get such flack from this, but I swear its the truth. Girls play house, boys play guns and then they grow up and have to decorate a house together???? Please.
thanks again for the shout out.
Joni
I love Joni and her beautiful blog (check out Cote de Texas link at right)but there is a much easier way to do this. Around here I just wait until the only person who could object is out of town for more than 2 days. The estimates have been approved. The paint purchased. My painters are ready for the call. Goodbye honey; hello Sherwin Williams. By the time he gets home again, its too late to object.
What REAL man (I’m one) fights their wife on this?
It’s the wife’s house. If I wanted manly touches on a house I’d have married a man.
A happy wife is a happy life.
And I STILL get to buy all my toys, too!
The wagon wheel coffee table stays.
JONI! You were a client at Get With It! Miss you girls! (Love your blog BTW)
Sorry, I grew up in a house in KY and I remember what it was like before they got ceiling fans there (it wasn’t pleasant in the summer)… I can’t imagine living without them here.
Gross. Next she’s going to tell me why only men can be President.
You should get flack.
That’s the problem with designers. They each think only THEY know what is ‘pretty’ or ‘nice’ or ‘current trend’.
What if a woman actually wants jewel tones and leather?
And a ceiling fan???
Yeah, boys grew up playing guns and girls may have gorwn up playing house, but that doesn’t make guys expert riflemen and women expert designers. Having said that, a gaudy house that your wife is happy in is much nicer than an expertly designed abode with a bitter woman. Having said THAT, a woman that can be happy with something that is not quite all her taste makes for an ever happier marriage. Two people that have mutual respect for each other shouldn’t be torn apart by decorating desires.
How dumb… of course everyone in Texas has a ceiling fan in almost every room!
Also, I have a leather sectional… that reclines… and has cup holders and a remote storage area… Is that not ok for some reason? Of course, I don’t have a wife either..
WAF – Wife Acceptance Factor.
We deal with it a lot.
But what if you are the husband and your wife has a toille fetish?
THEN what do you say?
All of that white make me wanna puke. What is that place? Some kind of wedding chapel?
AND….that’s when I tell her to shut the hell up and make me a sandwich.
Your theory goes out the window when your husband is an architect.
haha @hdtex.
One stupid stereotype deserves another!
#10……I’m gettin’ worried.
Agree with you completely.
God, I wish my husband were an architect! I love how so many husbands here talk about a happy wife and could care less how they decorate.
but truthfully- i really can’t tell you how many emails i get from readers whose husbands wont let them decorate how they want to. i cant imagine letting my husband decorate. we’d have that leather sectional with the cup holders.
i cant imagine letting my husband decorate. we’d have that leather sectional with the cup holders.
I blame that on a lack of basements, the traditional abode of the 90″ television, sporting memorabilia and sectional leather sofas with cupholders.
This woman is an idiot. If you both have to live there, then you both have an equal say in what it looks like. Ever hear of comprimise?
Not sure I’d take marital advice from someone seeing a therapist.
All you really need to know is that luv is like fly fishing:
1) decide what kind of fish you want to catch;
2) tie your fly to match what that fish likes to eat;
3) cast your fly into the hole where that fish is lurking.
Now if I could only solve my wife’s beige problem. Does everything have to be off-white??
P.