The mysterious Tunnel Mole, posting on Houstoned, provides a succinct list of shopping features missing from the not-so-glamorous Downtown daytime underground scene:

It’s got infinite ways to get annoying chores done, except it’s devoid of the most annoying ones that you want to do while you’re on the clock, like upgrading your cell phone. And here’s what else you don’t have in the tunnel:

*Music
*Movies
*Television
*Sex (not that we’ve noticed, anyway)
*Liquor
*Dreams of a Houston team snaring the pennant/Super Bowl

In short, anything that could sweep you up from the realities of life. The tunnel’s very grounded, because duh, it is in the ground.

• Tunnel Mole on the Have Nots [Houstoned]

Photo: “In space no one can hear you scream,” by Flickr user Matthew Wedgwood