The agent who put the 16-year-old house at 2203 Crocker St. on the market this week wants to make sure you know exactly what you’re buying. The listing for the property (which describes the home as “Needs work! Never updated. Never remodeled. Located within 241 feet from nuisance bar.”) digs deep into gritty details great and small — from photos focused on the missing caulk between the kitchen tiles, to a 2-page disclosure document listing assaults, intoxication calls, and other incidents ostensibly reported to the police from in and around the property’s catty-corner neighbor, bearaoke hotspot Crocker Bar.
The listing’s photo captions highlight additional details of the property’s physical defects and history — sometimes using the bright red text above, and other times employing fragments of narration that raise questions even as they answer them. Here’s the shot from the listing labeled only as Bird Got Trapped in Wall:
***
. . . followed immediately by Bird Needed to Exit:Â
“Hole”:
The front entrance:
The kitchen:
The powder room:
The master bedroom:
The back yard:
- 2203 Crocker St. [HAR]
Photos: HAR
Whoever buys this place needs to free the damn bird.
At least the inspection report is done.
Methinks this has something to do with her upcoming HCAD hearing.
Methinks Sylvester has hit the nail on the head. Excellent way to challenge an assessment! Best Swamplot post since the poopy house listing.
Oy Vey. The realtor 86’ed a lot of prospects by listing ALL of the problems with this :deferred maintenance” pile. Crappy construction is the one the reasons why the seller is trying to unload this pile. And pulling in the Crocker Bar just scared off other buyers. I wouldn’t hire this realtor to sell a swamp in Florida.
HCAD market value: $410,000. HAR sale price: $410,000. A little transparent, no?
Sounds like a lot of trouble for what a developer is going to buy, tear down, build as many townhomes as the lot will allow, and sell to people who don’t care what’s across the street from them.
Damn! I would have brought it if it weren’t for that shit brush in the corner with and the brown stains on the tile.
HA-HA!
Errrrr, just kiding of course. WTF is going on here?
MontroseResident
Is that trace evidence in the powder room? I hope they at least tell buyers where the body is buried.
Built in 2000. And never remodeled? What they should have said was never maintained.
Utterly bizarre listing. These people don’t even list pictures of the rooms to build it up, just pictures of wear and tear. Which in all honesty, don’t look like difficult fixes. I mean, holes in walls, rotten wood, damaged cables. Really? That’s it? Animal infiltrations? A bird got in the vent and had to be released. It happens!
Identical built houses were for sale on W Drew this year and we viewed them. The builds are extremely good, very well put together homes. I’m with Cat – this place just needs some TLC and has been astonishingly neglected. The W Drew places both sold at ~$190 per sq ft, which would put this home, if it were back in good condition at ~$480k.
As for the bar – please. Its Montrose. There are oodles of nuisance bars all over the neighborhood. Two properties on Fargo recently sold which are arguably closer. 712 Fargo went for $200/sq ft….
Either this place is a steal, or this is a HCAD issue. But surely you can’t suppress market value by poor maintenance…?
Oh Coconut how nutty you is. My friends and I party harty at the Crocker Bar and we talk about how bad it must be on the residents nearby. We know one lady who rents across the street that has called cops probably 200 time in last year on the crep that goes on. The amount of “party powder” sold outta that bar alone makes it dangerous to walk along crocker. I guess you missed the 2015 shooting of the guy who was shot at Fargo and Crocker as he walked outta there. People robbig the folks who bougt party goods if you know wat I mean. we used to call it the Cracker Bar. get it? One of the most dangerous corners in Montrose. Get a life and know what your talkin about.