25 Comment

  • WTF does not even begin to describe it. Oh the horror!
    I’m almost sure and interior decorator was involved in this and that’s why I strongly believe their profession is a crock of shit.

  • Hopefully the colors are more muted in person. I’m more shocked at the monthly maintenance fee of $2495. Ouch…

  • Man, if an epileptic accidentally walked into that living room…

  • HCAD lists owner as Valerie Sarofim, “socialite” daughter-in-law of Fayez Sarofim. And appraised at $815,406.

  • Does that come with a Danny Elfman soundtrack?

  • I’m no photographer, but from the looks of the other pics, I am thinking the camera was set to “HDR” or something similiar. Probably the worst setting for taking pictures of this particular unit.

  • It was on the market for over a year last time that it was listed. I had a client looking in the building at the time…but not at that price point.

  • You can bet the big top room was some interior designer’s project with some outrageous fee. Good designers do exist but they are few and far (very far) between..
    This room is migraine-inducing.

  • the leopard print carpet (on the stairs!) could easily be tomorrow’s listing photo of the day.

  • The level of visual stimulation in this private apartment is indeed remarkable; qualitatively it reminds me of the “Magic Eye” stereogram visuals that were quite popular in 1990s. So perhaps all those wild patterns and colors have a hidden message?

  • Words elude me, much as taste eluded these owners.

  • “Ex” daughter-in-law of Fayez Sarofim

  • Holy shiz storm… I ate Chinese today that sat better than this

  • I have to agree with commonsense. The designer ripped off the client. They need to remember these houses will need to be marketed again at some point. A huge waste of money putting it together and it’ll be all ripped out, and replaced again. What a waste of resources and $$$$.

  • meh…
    Sure, if for some odd reason I ended up with that place, you bet your sweet bippy I’d be doing away with the Rod Serling era Twilight Zone opening credits theme so fast your collective head would swim. However, it is quite unlikely that I would suddenly find that I have an inner beige soul that’s been begging to come out.
    As with the comments about green Lakeside carpet (which, oddly enough, seems to work for me in that particular place) and badly chosen staging furniture – those are externals, people (and yes, I know that Some Others have been demonstrating how much they are willing to hate people they’ve never met today). You don’t like it? Home Depot and Lowe’s have several aisles devoted to paint; Benjamin Moore builds whole freestanding stores for the same purpose. I’ve heard the rumor that there are entire corporations that do nothing but build furniture.
    The irony is, I get the sense that the people who rail the most fiercely against those willing to admit that they don’t have the time or interest or whatever so that they go ahead and pay someone else to help find something that feels like home, have no idea how to do it for themselves. Unless it’s beige.

  • How did the kitchen escaped that mess? It seems to be the only sane place in this condo!

  • It is simply a life size doll house. If you have the cash, why play with toys when you can play with the real thing.

  • If any of you have ever worked with decorators/designers, you would know that they take their direction from the client. Perhaps the ex Mrs Sarofim liked bold colors and animal prints and was willing to pay someone to execute her personal style. Voila!
    And in the event that she gave carte blanche to the decorator/designer, don’t you think with her apparent wad of cash she could have said “Throw it out, it is horrendous!” For her lifestyle, perhaps it was the perfect environment and she was not interested in re-sale.

  • “The designer ripped off the client. They need to remember these houses will need to be marketed again at some point. A huge waste of money putting it together and it’ll be all ripped out, and replaced again. What a waste of resources and $$$$.”

    I don’t think the Valerie Sarofim has to worry about money (much less “resources”). Apparently this bizarre decorative scheme was to her liking. One can criticize her taste, but your criticism of how she chooses to spend her money seems kind of ridiculous. It’s her money–she’s entitled to waste it as grand and glorious a manner as she wants.

  • You wouldn’t actually have had to hire a designer to do this room. A custom upholstery company would have gladly taken on this job, if the lady knew exactly what she wanted. There are some really great ones in town.

  • You don’t like this condo and you have no way to know if an interior designer was even involved, yet you are quick to trash all interior designers. Uh, ok.

  • Does anyone think the sofa in the first picture looks like a giant Crown Royal velvet bag?

  • Go bold, or go home.
    I’d like to see it in person.

  • A coworker commented, “It looks like living inside a bag of Skittles.”

  • OMG, a little bit of vomit just regurgitated up in the back of my throat…