Having perhaps exhausted other methods of communicating his distress at City of Houston Ordinance 19, Article III, Division 3, Sec. 19-43 — which now restricts the abilities of homeowners in floodways to improve their properties — White Oak Bayou-area resident Jay Green has, unfortunately, turned to poetry. And wouldn’t you know it, his poem begins “’Twas the night before . . .” but for some reason changes the holiday from Christmas to New Year’s and the tale from a rooftop landing to a collapse in property values.

Most of the poem would be too painful to reprint here, but let’s just say Mr. Green doesn’t think much of Mayor White, and throws just about every rhyme in the book at him. As a caution to readers against any future forays into the real-estate-poetry genre, only a couple of the uh . . . better stanzas are excerpted below:

***

Land values in the floodway have shown tremendous descent

Appraisals on vacant land have gone down at least 93%;

while appraisals on new homes have dropped to 1/5 of their worth,

appraisers and real estate agents are still unaware of 19-43’s birth.

Law suits are forthcoming on lots of infractions

and most are for non-disclosure on floodway transactions.

Landowners, Banks and other lenders are losing their equity,

As 10,000 properties have been put into serious monetary jeopardy.

So to the rest of you floodplain Houstonians at 105,000 strong,

don’t think you are exempt from this ordinance that’s wrong.

You too, must also adhere to the 50% tool,

and rebuild on piers as is the new public works rule.

• T’was the night before New Years and all thru the floodway (a poem) (PDF) [Houston Floodway Follies]
• Do you live near a bayou? Your property rights are in peril! [Floodway Coalition of Houston]