Here’s the problem with these sleek houses on full-acre lots in River Oaks: They’re selling for too damn cheap! The gorgeous land at the southern boundary of Memorial Park fronting Buffalo Bayou at 3840 Willowick — hogged by this eighties-modern home designed by New York architects Stonehill and Taylor — got swept up for between $45 and $57 a square foot at the end of August.
At that price, wouldn’t your head be spinning with the themed-towering-mansion possibilities? Bring on the demo and stucco crews!
Well, the stucco and foam cornice pieces will probably take a while, but the big machines with the giant claws are on their way, according to this morning’s demolition report.
Photos, plans, and details of the house-that-got-in-the-way — including some fine examples of how to distract from a River Oaks land sale — after the jump:
Just look at all that useless non-air-conditioned space! What a waste! Look, you silly New York modernists, here’s the law in Houston: If you can’t enclose it, you can’t include it in your square-footage counts. And that means you can’t sell it.
All this land coverage and what do you have to show for it? A measly 3,312 square feet! Just wait’ll you see how the house that replaces this one boosts those numbers.
This is a little better. That’s what a room is: four walls, a ceiling, and some behind-the-scenes ductwork. But you could sure have lowered your construction costs if you’d gotten rid of stupid high windows you can’t even see the ground out of!
And where’s the grand “look how big everything is” entrance?
Some fools never learn.