That House in Riverview Everybody’s Watching

Ever wonder what’s really going on in some of the houses listed for sale on MLS? Sure you do. In real estate, everyone’s a voyeur.

The trick for agents, now that so many houses are just sitting there — is finding a way to appeal to that urge to look.

Swamplot’s been keeping this house in Riverview under surveillance. It’s just south of the Gulf Freeway and Telephone Rd., not too far from the Orange Show. It has 2 or 3 bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths, and dates from 1945.

What’s the story here?

C’mon, wouldn’t you like to . . . peek around the house a bit for yourself?

Oh, yeah. You know you want to . . .

***

So go ahead, look:

Must have just missed

Not there, either . . .

Hmmm. Ever get that creepy feeling somebody’s watching . . . you?

Maybe out the back . . . ?

Naah . . .

Oooh . . . !

Looks all clear.

Well then never mind. Just continue the stakeout from behind the crape myrtles, across the street.

Yes, all photos taken straight from the listing. Asking $120,000. On the market since last August.

Still: a good home to keep on your . . . uh, watch list.

10 Comment

  • Sorry. I don’t get the joke. Please explain.

  • Yeah, I don’t get the joke either. What am I missing?

    Also, I think that house is kind of cute, with a lot of potential, and is priced right.

  • I third that emotion. What the heck is so entertaining?

  • I am thinking it is that the pics are taken from a weird perspective, like a peeping tom or a stalker. Is that it?

  • Most of the pictures are taken into another room from behind the entry door to that room.

  • I know this house. It’s a very cute house that has been well-maintained. However, it’s suffering from an ill-advised porch addition tacked on the front. It’s also overpriced for neighborhood and the garage apartment has some serious structural issues.

    I don’t know much about real estate, but I know 8 months is a long time to have a house on the market. If they’re really serious about selling the place, they should probably lower the price, get some better marketing material, or both.

  • Yeah, I don’t get the joke either. It’s a cute house, considering the crack on the front porch, I have it professionally inspected. If it’s pier and beam, it could be remedied for less than a fortune.

    Neighborhood, a little dicey, but not terrible, seems to be overlooked by gangs, etc.

    Across 45 to the north, neighborhoods are making a comeback.

    I’d buy it for $95,000.

  • I’m with Emme. The grainy photos, the bizarre side-of-the-house views, the shower scene. Only thing missing is the heavy breathing, or maybe some other creepy soundtrack.

  • I think the agent has taken a photography class from HCC and is now putting that knowledge to work. Notice how most of the shots are slightly angled, not level. The photos of the porch displays a contrast of color and texture. A melange of brick, asbestos siding and cement. In one of the porch photos the crack in the cement draws your eyes to the center before the contrasting panorama draws the viewer out. The second porch photo demonstrates the same effect, setting the brick column slightly off centered to the brick porch railing which prevents the bright white of the abestos siding from overwhelming the visual palette. As for the photos taken behind the entrance door to the rooms. The position of the door frames is “in your face” and visually snaps your head back, then letting your eyes be enticed by the openess of the rooms.

    Or maybe the agent is like my mother and is not very good with a camera.

  • I also like the creepy guy looking back at you from the tv. And the tv was left on…where is its viewer?