What Awfulness Lurks in Spring Branch Woods?

Must be pretty bad, if a brand-new listing has to resort to a gallery of stock photos (some shown above) in place of actual property pix. “Enter at your own risk, with a mask,” reads the description. But the note to agents is more colorful and contradictory:

Sold As is. Investors only. Cash Only. A diamond in the WAY rough, enter at your own risk, with a mask. Unoccupied, Feel free to walk on property. Inhabitable. . . . Drive by only, just make offer.

“I can only imagine what condition this place is in,” writes the reader who sent us the listing. All the excitement and adventure can be yours — for just $110,000.

22 Comment

  • Makes me want to go check it out. The pictures are ridiculous just in case no one else mentions it!

  • From the looks of the Google street view… You can barely even tell there’s a house in there under all the overgrowth…

  • You have to go around the corner – the Google street view is of the side of the property from Bunker Hill. When you go around the corner you can barely make out the roofline of a house, a driveway, and if I’m not mistaken a bubbling cauldron simmering with eye of newt and snippets of hair from neighborhood children. Oh wait, that’s just the trash receptacle. My bad.

  • The listing broker might, do note the word might, be fined if the matter of the photos was reported to MLS.

    As for it being “inhabitable” it can’t be that “inhabitable” if you need to “enter at your own risk, with a mask.”

    Hopefully one of the Swamplot photographers is on their way to Spring Branch…

  • I saw it from that side, that’s what made me say what I did.

  • Matt, maybe she meant UNinhabitable, LOL

  • This IS a very ‘transitional’ neighborhood.
    Near the hospital, the homes are ex-army – simple but solid.
    I love the descriptions:
    “Unoccupied, Feel free to walk on property.”
    ie, There will be no Open House – it’s all open.
    “Inhabitable. . . . Drive by only, just make offer.”
    ie, Please just make some kind of offer.

  • It looks like nature just took its course on that entire lot for 20 years. Did one of those hoarder types live there? I’m sure the neighbors were thrilled.

  • Makes me wonder why the realtor bothered to post pictures at all, since none are of the actual property. But then I often wonder about the pictures realtors post with listings. Could you not wait until the dishes were out of the sink/towels off the floor/beds made?

  • IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.

  • But right next door is a Mid-Century Mod with a sweet butterfly roof!

  • Ok I am now so curious about what lurks inside. Can’t one of you swamplotting real estate agents go in (in full hazmat gear, of course) and post the pix? Or woul that be considered way uncool and/or unprofessional? ;)

  • How long would it take a property to get in that condition? Any guesses? months, years…?

  • Read this realtors bio from here web site. She states she has over 170 million in sales in here 15 year career. Just click on her web site…..it is really funny..if she is such a all-star why she messing with a dump on Oak Point. Also states she is in Remax Hall of Fame and in top 20 Remax agents in Texas. Is she for real or WHAT????
    Please would someone follow up on this…..
    Would HAR please fill us in on the details!!

  • This realtor also has another listing at 1737 Hollister St. that has overgrown bushes in the front and back. Her website says that she is an active realtor in Costa Rica!

  • Heh. The top left photo is of the Galleria…in Dallas.

    “Stay away. FAR away.”

  • From Dan:

    She states she has over 170 million in sales in here 15 year career. Just click on her web site…..it is really funny..if she is such a all-star why she messing with a dump on Oak Point. Also states she is in Remax Hall of Fame and in top 20 Remax agents in Texas. Is she for real or WHAT????

    ___________________________

    When the going gets tough, the tough get going. And some realtors, well, go slumming.

    When the market goes “soft” even the “silk stocking” realtors take listings anywhere they can get them. Particularly if they’re likely to sell.

  • From Jennifer Mathis:
    Heh. The top left photo is of the Galleria…in Dallas.

    “Stay away. FAR away.”
    —————————————————————————-
    No, that’s the Houston Galleria.

  • Indeed, Matt — I will be driving by this place in about an hour…. stay tuned. (Now where did I put that hardhat …)

  • I might have left out the stock photo that depicts what looks like children sprinting in fear. I wonder exactly what they are trying to get away from, maybe that pesky armadillo lurking on the property…

  • Well, Ranger, I just drove away from this place and I must say, of all the stock photos she used, the little children running away in fear is the MOST appropriate. Gus has the pics I took. Its a mess, but there IS a house behind all that foliage. Might have been a nice one at some point. It appears to be relatively intact, a testament to the neighborhood I suppose. A place like this in any other area might have been broken into and seriously vandalized by now. I doubt seriously this realtor has been inside.

  • @kheatherg: Whoops. Guess that shows how often I go to either of those places.

    Sorry, folks! O_o