It “only” took 987 days to sell her Pearland home, Jenny Lawson announces. But did the Bloggess — and now bestselling author — shirk on that “No Zombies — sort of” guarantee she had offered on her single-story David Weekly model in Southern Trails back in 2010 when she first put it on the market? “In the middle of signing all of the paperwork,” she writes, “I mentioned to Victor that we should probably disclose that we buried that-guy-I-couldn’t-remember-the-name-of in our yard years ago and Victor looked at me like I’d lost my mind. Probably because you’re not supposed to say that in front of realtors. Then Victor told me to be quiet, but I mentioned that we’d probably go to hell for not digging the guy back up. Then Victor explained that I was talking about a saint I’d buried upside down in our front lawn to help sell the house and the realtor looked at us like we were insane because apparently she’s not Catholic. And technically neither are we, but at the time we were pretty desperate to sell the house and I was willing to bury just about anyone in the yard to stop having to pay two mortgages.”
