Price-Cutting Zombies Attack Abandoned Pearland Home of the Bloggess

When Swamplot featured her Pearland home back in June, Bloggess Jenny Lawson was crafty enough to couch within her verbal guarantee that the place harbored NO ZOMBIES the hint that she just might be able to score some — if, y’know, you were into that sort of thing. And now, almost 2 months later? Score! Quietly last week, someone slashed the asking price on the sallow, undead 3-bedroom suburban special by another $10K. Lawson and family since escaped to friendlier digs, but the old and now empty home in Southern Trails limps on at $199,000, $20K down from its original price. Can’t someone stop the bleeding!!!?

13 Comment

  • Oh my God, I love you guys.

    This damn market is deader than zombies. Who aren’t entirely dead at all. Hence the simile.

  • Next thing you know Jenny will be offering incentives to potential buyers. And her incentives will be *awesome*.

    Like taxidermied critters. Or else she’ll stab you. And it will be totally worth it.

  • Just as long as she stabs me with a chicken jerky treat….

    Jenny, that is still my favorite blog post of all time. My jerky scar is on my right thigh. Also pug related. Grab, stap and run baby…

  • If I could afford I would so buy it…but alas I am a broke as hell 20 yr old.Maybe if the price was slashed another 198,000 and I could make payments.

  • It looks like a nice house, but I’m not too partial to the location.

  • So Ms. Blogess, where did you move? Vicinity, not specifics.

  • I moved to the Texas Hill country. I need to be closer to family in case my arthritis gets too bad.

  • I think what you need to do is create a photo reconstruction of what the house would look like with the zombies there. That way people could compare them with the house’s currently unzombified state, and see what a bargain it really is.

  • We are moving to Pearland in a couple of months. I had no idea that the house you were selling was in that area. But then I found out. And now I’m a little creeped out. But, if it turns out to be THE house for us, do you suppose I can make money by letting other Bloggess fans tour it?

  • I might have bought it (even though I live halfway across the country) if you had a better guarantee. Like maybe ACTUAL ZOMBIES.

  • The exchange rate makes that under AU$250 000 right? Throw in a decent job, a drivers licence and a “Welcome to the Neighbourhood” block party, and I would almost consider it; $250K where I live would get me some run down 2BR unit a 20min drive from the “city” of 100 000 people.

    …You know, if I was old enough to be happy being in the same place for more than a year.

  • I wonder if I could telecommute from Houston, because in Denver, that house would be $350k. We’re looking for a new home, and the closest we can come for $199k is a two-bedroom 1 bath townhouse in a neighborhood known for flying its colors–gang colors that is.

    I’d take it even if zombies HAD lived there.

  • @lynn@human, being:

    Yabbut, if that house were in Denver, it would actually be in Lone Tree.