Unmasking the Crafty NSA, NFL Plan To Take Away Our Precious Astrodome and Monitor Your Phone Calls

UNMASKING THE CRAFTY NSA, NFL PLAN TO TAKE AWAY OUR PRECIOUS ASTRODOME AND MONITOR YOUR PHONE CALLS AN/FLR-9 Radio Direction Finder at United States Army Security Agency (USASA) Field Station AugsburgUsing techniques, he explains, from “The Consipiracy Theory Style Manual” (“I used as many facts as I could come up with, then I made up a few more”), Houston Chronicle penpal Dave Nagel notes the striking similarities between the reconstructed ring of drive-thru concrete pillars meant to be built as part of a memorial to the Astrodome in a proposal released last week by the Rodeo and the Houston Texans and the circular antenna array called the AN/FLR-9 built in several locations during the Cold War to support U.S. intelligence operations. And concludes: “[I]t’s obvious. The National Security Agency has plans to construct a listening post here in Houston. We know the Supreme Court says the police cannot grab cell phones without a warrant, but now the NSA will just grab all the signals emanating from Texas and will process them from the new intel center at Reliant/NRG. By the way, in military parlance, NRG is National Reconnaissance Group! I believe the NSA is planning to collect intelligence on all known and suspected Republicans here in Texas, and turn it over to the Administration. Every proper conspiracy theorist will say YES! Or, does the NSA plan to eavesdrop on all those nefarious and dangerous children pouring across the border from Honduras and Guatamala? If you have ever worked in a school, you know how dangerous children are, especially ones without parental supervision! Children carry cell phones. Cell phones transmit and receive signals. Do you understand now?” A chilling prospect! But what’s the upshot? Continues Nagel: “[I]f the NSA wants to run an intelligence gathering station at Reliant/NRG, then we won’t have to use local tax money to tear down the dome, we can let NSA do it with their classified budget!” [Houston Chronicle ($); previously on Swamplot] Photo of AN/FLR-9 radio direction finder at United States Army Security Agency Field Station Augsburg: Wikimedia Commons/Chaddy [license]

11 Comment

  • What a crock of dog ____.

  • The Chronicle actually paid him to write this drivel? It’s no wonder newspapers of record are dying. Someone should have had to paid me to read that mess. It’s not witty nor even particularly good satire, it’s like he had a deadline and pulled that out of his ass. I haven’t a clue why Swamplot picked it up, perhaps he was owed a favor or Swamplot knows any story on the dome, no matter how assine, will get lots of comments.

  • You’re a loony.

  • The Chronicle is defending being spied on en masse by the NSA and ridiculing those who oppose it with this low-class, low-blow, anti-American shitstain. Agree with Shannon that it’s stuff like this that have killed the formerly big media.

  • Oh Yes – This is good. I suspect that the astrodome site can also be tied into the other sites that the NSA/NRO/CIA/FBI/AFL/CIO have around the world to control the weather. The Houston location is the last site needed to form a nested, linear hydraulic particle manipulator. Exciting days are ahead of us.

  • Not to give the Chronicle any credit, but isn’t this an reader editorial or “letter to the editor” type of thing?

  • This is in the vein of Russia being behind the effort to ban fracking in Denton.
    Why are conspiracies so rampant theses days? Too many carbs/not enough protein in people’s diets?

  • it is junk like this that places houston chronicle below the long gone Public News as far as quality goes. even their website is so poorly done, you could learn more about the world around you by reading the Final Call newspaper sold by the national of islam on the side of the road.

  • The best part of these purely sarcastic bits is looking at the comments of people who understood it to be 100% serious.

  • I got my hands on a document from the NSA, it is part of the freedom of information act, anyway, it confirms all of the suspicions above.
    In FY 2015 the NSA plans to *redacted* with *redacted*. This will be accomplished by *redacted* into *redacted*, *redacted*, and *redacted*. *redacted* *redacted* *redacted* *redacted*, *redacted* *redacted*. We will use funds from *redacted* to build a *redacted* in *redacted*.
    This is just a snippet from document that all but confirms the truth!

  • Quoting the above article: ” The NSA has plans to build a listening post here in Houston ” . Newsflash: I the intelligence agencies don’t need to build anything anywhere. They ARE currently “monitoring” every electronic communication,courtesy of the device and software manufacturers. For example, Apple has code deeply embedded into it’s iOS software ,that in the owners manual is NOT identified,but IS there for some unknown reason. The Federal government makes device /software makers build in a “backdoor listening key” into it’s products , or those companies are PROHIBITED from selling any products in the US and/or it’s territories !! That is the reality of us existing in the 21st century police/surveillance state we live in …