Magenta Is the New Fuschia: A River Oaks Home That Glows Inside

It only went on the market yesterday, but Swamplot readers are already gawking at this house on Locke Ln., across Eastside St. from the Lamar-River Oaks shopping center. The 3-bedroom, 3 1/2-bath number is listed for $1,089,000, and sits on a 10,147-sq.-ft. corner lot. What’s to look at?


Just stuff like this:

And what’s there to say? Well, 5 years ago this family room, which connects to the garage, was added in back:

. . . and the kitchen updated to this:

That’s an aquarium in the back wall:

There’s also a small apartment above the garage, at the left of this back-yard photo:

Total square footage: 3,556.

59 Comment

  • Looks like the Extreme Makeover team made a pit stop before they left Houston.

  • The whole time I was looking at the pictures I was trying to spot Elton John.

  • Oh my. What a hot mess.

  • I don’t know why but in the first two photos, I was searching for the two old maid sisters and their cats.

  • I guess they didn’t get the memo about how a nice cream color makes the place more attractive to potential buyers

  • Wait, we had more than 1 mafioso hiding out in Houston? That is klassy with a k. Although I think these folks would be fun as hell to be friends with.

  • Wow, I think I just broke my mouse scrolling through this one.

    One pill makes you smaller…

  • Is it sold with the furniture? No regular furniture would work in that place…

  • I kind of like it, particularly the den, although the drapes ruin most of the rooms but those are easily changed and platforms in bedrooms are just, well, dated and really only dramatic when you trip and fall and break something in the middle of the night, but the big boo-boo is the wedding bed in the living room. Much too overwhelming.

    Can’t tell if it’s a Chinese wedding bed or an Indian wedding bed. I suspect Indian.

  • What is the item of furniture in the first two photos that is across from the two chairs?

    Is it an unmade platform bed awaiting Henry VIII? The little half curtain hanging across the opening is strange.

    Ideas anyone?

    And yeah, I have to agree that these folks have to be a real hoot to hang with.

  • Oh MM—

    You must have been typing at the same time I was. So it’s really a wedding bed?

    Maybe the two old maid sisters were really voyeurs.

  • Man! It’s like Candy Land! All those rooms are in 1 house?
    Great place to do a fashion photo session.

  • I LOVE LOVE LOVE the office the mostest. It looks like such a calming environment in which to get your work done… if your work involves marketing Pop Rocks… or sending a call girl to the St. Regis.

  • Christ, it looks like a rainbow threw up in there, ugh!

  • Yes it’s really a wedding bed. You rarely see them anymore. Mainly because they’re frightfully expensive. Judging from the wood, which appears to be a teak, it is most likely Indian. The two chairs opposite have the Indian “frou-frou” look as well. See, I learn from Swamplot. Although off Swamplot, well, it’s still “froo-froo.”

    Amazing how the “rococo” style just sort of was adopted by everyone everywhere. Sort of a universal “see how I rich I am” style. Even when you’re not really rich.

  • Holy cr@p! If I lick the walls does it taste like snozberries?

  • Im so glad they took 3 pictures of that pink/purple womb (err, room) so that we don’t miss a single detail of what was obviously a pepto-bismol induced nightmare after drinking too much homemade wine. Im already dizzy from the zebra-patterned carpet in the “office”. No shots of any bathrooms? Are they actually normal?

  • I always try to imagine what people say to the homeowners the first time they see the house. You don’t want to offend them, so how do you reply?

  • I kind of love it – like stepping into a Dr. Seuss book! Agree that these would be fun people to know. That study is magical:-)

  • I learned something today. “Colorful” is realtor-ese for “some sort of bat sh!t crazy”. I agree these people must be pretty fun. They certainly don’t have many inhibitions, what with the viewing area for the wedding bed, and a Seussian design ethos. Shine on you crazy diamonds.

  • It looks more like a box of 100 Crayola Crayons threw up inside….including the new and limited edition colors.

  • Where is Austin Powers when you need him?

  • Even Stevie Wonder would be offended by that house! I bet they like skittles too. . . .

  • I’m mostly just amazed that these are all in the same house. Rococco/froo-froo, traditional, and Austin Powers in a short series of three rooms!

  • I’m still pondering over the wedding bed.

  • All those wonderful bookshelves and no books…just a bunch of interior decorator tchotskes.

  • This must be the frontrunner for the to-be-created 2010 Swamplot “Trojan Horse” Award for outside appearances concealing suprises inside.

  • yeah, we are fun people to know. this was my mom’s amazing project, so much fun to see it take shape. if you’d seen it BEFORE the makeover, THAT was tacky. what do you expect us to do, waste money redoing the whole house just to sell it? i’ve lived there my whole life, love it to death. cream colors? BORING!

  • P.S.
    yeah, no books.
    um, it’s called packing. very few personal items are left because nobody actually lives there.

  • Prudoodle … you’re brave to come forward in this forum. I’m sure your mom was proud of this project. Was she also the set designer for Pee-Wee’s Playhouse?

  • Claire de Lune:

    Consider changing your name to Claire de Bitch.


    Hater Hater

  • JEALOUSY IS SO UNBECOMING…’s a fabulous place and you all KNOW IT.

  • IO love it, too, Adele

  • Prudoodle – tell your Mom to rock on. It’s got personality and whimsy and I find it very inviting. Can you tell me what the floors in the living room are? Very attractive and different from the photos. And is the wedding bed Indian…Indonesian…Chinese? Can’t really see enough of it in the photos to tell.

  • Kunigan 2: the floors are stained red oak and the day bed is Indonesian. Glad u like sad to sell it. Some people have NO IMAGINATION…Mr. “wish the walls were cream” didn’t even realize people can PAINT different colors….how sad. Rock on Kunigan 2

  • Claire be Bitch (Lune)….put your house on the internet…dare u….u probably live in a beige box….how sad. Pee Wee would love to see my house. Would he love to see yours? BOOORRRIIINNNGGG I bet. You just don’t have any confidence with colors… must be a beige, black and white girl. Show me your colors…dare you!!!! Bet your life is just as boring as you. Prove me wrong… u can’t…..lmao

  • Prudoodle…isn’t is sad how hateful people are? It’s just a house for GOd’s sake….colors can change as fast a clothing.
    Jealousy is rampant… sad for those who want and cannot have…color is free….they’re just too caught up in criticism to realize the choices they have. How sad especailly since they don’t realize their minds operate in a very small box. Live a little…u die very soon.

  • WTH is going on here?

  • just talking about something we like and wonder why you and others are so insulting….2 old maid sisters with cats…etc. You started it WTF and now you pretend to WTF???? get a life

  • Children, please… play nice.

    This is, you will admit, an unusual house. None of my comments (unlike some above) were meant to be hateful. We’re just having fun here. I suspect the woman who put so much time and effort into designing and decorating this home was having fun too. And yes, several pieces of furniture DO resemble “Chairy” from the Pee-Wee set. I stand by my statement. They also look comfy and I wouldn’t mind having them in my living room — my cat would go nuts for that fringe around the bottom.

    Its good that there are lots of pictures, as the NEW owners of this house will probably paint everything beige and the fun will be over.

  • Good on you Garic Garic,

    All you fools are afraid of color. I bet your living
    rooms are ‘off-white’, as well as the rest of the house.

    Don’t like it? Don’t fucking look at it!

    Love ya Mom, good luck selling it. And don’t listen to
    these jealous wankers.

    Someone’s gonna fall in love with it and everything these sheeple say won’t matter one pint of fresh piss.

  • And about the book shelves being empty; they where PACKED full of books, but my mother lives in Mexico and took all that stuff with her.

  • It’s a fucking opium den bed, you fools.

  • Rock on prudoodle! Took me a minute to figure out that you are my wonderful sister. These people are just sheeple. It’ll be beige as soon as it sells. Sad, really. Everyones so afraid of color. They like baby shit brown and puke colors. I’ll give a free service to shit and puke on the walls for the new buyer.

  • @ LilDebbi, it’s called “rooms”. You know those spaces that are divided by “walls”? Why not have fun and put a different theme in each? I bet 100 bucks your house is beige, off white and brown.


  • It is funny to read all the reactions. I have been in this HOME and it is fabulous. The paint the walls creme person does not get it.

    Life is fun. Why would you want creme for walls? The boredom some people just accept as “good” taste.

    Be an individual peeps! This house is an homage to an individual who has a personality, style, and charisma.

    It is a fabulous home that you should see in person. Pics don’t give you the feel of the house.

  • I hope Gloria doesn’t read Swamplot, and can’t see how her children are behaving here.

  • Oh she does. But you know what? We’re not children. We’re adults. But when it comes to people like you, there’s no hold barred. You’re just a jealous nobody.

  • When you look at the first photo you see a generic looking two story brick home and then you see the interior decorations. Wow! What a contrast. I could never put together that mixture of colors/furniture/fabric and make it come out as good as this home. Not my cup of tea, but good job and… Wow!

  • I’d like to amend my earlier comment to note that all the rooms are extremely well executed – I’d LOVE to move into that first room of the Austin Powers wing – but unusually juxtaposed.

  • I would love it. Too bad I can’t afford it!! I want to paint my walls aqua to match my new gold and red paisley sofa. Lots of cobalt blue and pink in the bedrooms. Why be afraid of color? Life’s too short for beige rooms!!!!!!

  • That place has multiple personality disorder.

  • This is too funny. I would hate to be the listing agent on this tribute to bad taste.

  • Realtor… tacky r u?

  • I love it….don’t know what’s wrong with you people. Offices are so boring, I would love to come home to this. I certainly wouldn’t need that afternoon cup of coffee to keep going.

  • “Mi Casa Su Casa” … some of you need to look inside before you look outside.

    If you cann’t say anything nice…then don’t say anything! Period!