The Bluest Mediterranean Villa in Seabrook, Hands Up

What says Bay Area luxury living better than a front entry at the end of a thin pedestrian bridge over your pool? This arresting multi-towered confection with the “don’t shoot me” stance quivers about a block from Galveston Bay in Seabrook. At ease, dude! We’re just here for the party.


That is a bathing suit you’ve got on under your clothes, right?

Includes 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, a rooftop patio, a microwave-in-a-drawer, a grand stairway, and a terrific feeling of overhead spaciousness whenever you sit down for a meal:

The 3,999-sq.-ft. house comes with all the perks of the Villa by the Sea subdivision: all-new palm trees since Ike, a dolphin fountain, and a maximum-length community pier that juts out a full 460 feet towards Smith Point and Anahuac. All less than two miles from Kemah Boardwalk dining and pleasure nexus.

Last year this house spent a few seasons on the market for $650,000; as of earlier this month, it’s back on the market at $599,000.

34 Comment

  • Man, oh, man. When I saw the exterior shot my first utterance was an audible and involuntary, “Fuuuuccc…” The interior shots puzzle me, though. The furnishings have this weird, “Maw Maw goes to Tuscany via the Hill Country” vibe. It looks comfortable in a geriatric way. This place could rock like a mofo. Glad there is a “coral” colored neighbor across the street. This one makes me feel like I have Pop Rocks in my brain.

  • I love Swamplot! Keep it coming!

  • I like these daily random listings lately. Good job Swamplot!

  • The his and hers garages make it look like a duplex. I guess they don’t have to worry about door dings, though.

  • Another testament of what happens when a straight man is allowed to decorate something.

  • Based on the street photo, I expected the interior pictures to be full of oompa loompa’s working on the next batch of everlasting gobstoppers.

  • I know I shouldn’t like the bridge. But I freaking love the bridge.

  • The view of the bay is great, otherwise its all awful. How about the two mismatched styles of bar stools alternated with one another?

  • cap’n mcbarnacle, i’m right there with you. i have a thing for bridges. but i also wouldn’t want to swim in the front yard. weird.

  • Every picture is like a surprise! Love it.

  • It’s like you have a house on the bay without having a house on the bay.

    Not a seashell or fish in sight. No rescue swim rings on the walls or dolphins jumping anywhere.

  • Yuck, still an improvement over the murder mansion that sat vacant on the site for decades.

  • For a water side home, I love the outside, it looks great. Swamplot could tell half of you to jump off a bridge and you’d do it, haha.

  • What I can’t get over is how much ugly house a person can get out in Seabrook. And, Wilf, “maw maw goes to Tuscany via the Hill Country”? Thank you for that visual.

  • Jessie, I for one don’t need Swamplot to tell me this house is fugly and weird. But I do appreciate Swamplot bringing this to my attention.

  • Mel, it might be oversized, but what’s wrong with it?

  • Cross – I think that house is further up Toddville.

  • Whoever designed the kitchen needs to be shot. The layout is terrible, but I guess you can work off your meal by walking so far back and forth. Not the worst I’ve ever seen, but damn close.

  • Shot for designing a bad kitchen, makes sense to me!

  • Or at least beaten about the head and shoulders.

  • The facade is perfectly symmetrical. I like that. Unfortunately, that’s about all this house has going for it though.

  • It’s missing a “The World is Yours” statue

  • And who puts the dining room set in the foyer?

  • I think the garages on either side make look like a sphinx.

    A blue, four-eyed sphinx with a mohawk.

  • Jessie M, thou doth protest too much. You wouldn’t happen to live in a Turquoise stucco house with a swimming pool in the front yard, would you?

  • I’m thinking there’s more to those garages than garages. Wish there were photos of the inside of one.

  • Mel, still no legitimate answer? Haha, no, don’t live there. Just kinda sick of the constant negativity, as if it’s good and cool.

    The garage/sphinx criticism I thought was good.

  • I like the blue.
    But this home does confuse: The design is grandiose, self-conscious, maxing out the lot and including expensive features. Yet the deco seems devoid of plan or vision – just regular furnishings of regular folks.
    Isn’t it amazing that the best thing about this house is the roof patio? Nice wine-bar setting. I like the symmetry of it in the Google bird’s-eye view. The buyer could install zip-lines from the roof and get to the beach in no time.

  • Is that where all the stock from Bombay and Co. and Garden Ridge Pottery went?

  • -The furnishings have this weird, “Maw Maw goes to Tuscany via the Hill Country” vibe.
    -A blue, four-eyed sphinx with a mohawk.

    Haaaahahaha y’all are cracking me up. I actually think the outside of the house is great. It’s weird fo sho…but in a cool, funky, bay house sorta way. Bizarre that the pool is in the front yard, but to be honest, I kind of dig it. It’s behind that wall so its still private – and not only do you have a pool, you also get the feeling that you have a moat around your very own confectionary cupcake castle. I actually think that’s pretty clever. Hey – at least it’s different.

    I’m lost on the fug interior, though. The furniture is all so awkwardly positioned, and it looks like one of those planned community cookie-cutter houses out in the ‘burbs instead of what you’d expect from the ballsy, in-your-face, colorful exterior.

    Where’s the outdoor kitchen on the roof-top patio?? Definitely has the potential to be a rad pad – but it needs some help. Rip out some of those tile floors & replace them with stained concrete or something…give that house the funk it so rightfully deserves.

  • It’s a crying shame this house couldn’t be invaded by the interior of the notorious Locke Ln. house from August 24th. It would be magical.

  • I could do without all the unpleasant spouting from the ‘children’ though.

  • Jessie M, please take my lack of response as a clear indication that I don’t feel the need to justify to you my personal opinion. Also, I work.

  • With a little bit of touch up, sone purple curtains and an L. Ron Hubbard portrait, you’d have yourself an awesome Scientology HQ.

    It’s KSW all the way, baby!