Swamplot Archives by Tag: Theming

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Comment of the Day: Form, Function, and Home Security

   

“Properly implemented, turrets *are* good. The problem in this particular case as well as with so many modern faux-Tuscan and faux-Chateau adaptations is that architects fail to incorporate functional support for modern defensive armament and surveilance equipment. For instance, no McMansion is truely complete without a remote-controlled servo-actuated Browning M2 machine gun hardwired to the saferoom. But that critical bit of hardware doesn’t do the least bit of good if the turret does not project out from the structure or if it is lacking a sufficient number of meurtrieres to ensure an adequate field of fire. Along similar lines, I question the lack of murder holes above the entrances to such homes; no McMansion should be complete without the capability to dump a vat of scalding hot oil onto Jehovah’s Witnesses at the mere flick of a switch.” [TheNiche, commenting on Comment of the Day: Beauty Is in the Intention of the Landholder]

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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Comment of the Day: Beauty Is in the Intention of the Landholder

   

“Houston is full of architectural bad taste, but it tends to be bad taste that politely pays obeisance to prevailing norms of bad taste. Hence the faux-Tuscan McMansion becomes a self-perpetuating meme. Developers keep building them and homebuyers keep buying them [and] because they see so many other versions of the same crap, they start believing that turrets are good. La Luz del Mundo utterly ignores the norms of architectural tastes in Houston (which are horrible but all [too] common). Its crimes against taste are unique and displayed with gusto. Unlike the buyer of a faux-Tuscan architectural travesty, the congregants of La Luz del Mundo don’t care what other people think. To which I say, right on! [RWB, commenting on Freeway Church of the Eastex Holy Roaming Empire: Shining a Little Light on La Luz Del Mundo]

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Thursday, October 8, 2009

You Love the Knight Life: Rivercrest White Castle Retreat

A reader calls this odd home “a lottery winner’s dream!” The listing agent calls it “the ultimate bachelor pad.” But does either pitch fully explain what’s going on in this $4 million, 6,753-sq.-ft. medieval chateau fantasy in Rivercrest Estates?

A few highlights:

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Friday, September 25, 2009

How About a Little Something in Tuscan?

   

If the $7.4 million price tag on his 12,734-sq.-ft. Friar Tuck French-chateau-that-is-actually-from-France turns out to be too much of a stretch, maybe you’ll be interested in the upcoming auction of real-estate developer Jerry J. Moore’s tchotchkes: “Many of Moore’s belongings were 19th century French, to go along with the French chateau-styled home that he owned on the eastern edge of Hunters Creek Village. Auction items include marble statues, bronze statues, a 19th century billiards table and a Steinway grand piano. ‘All of the furnishings are the best of the best,’ says Ray Simpson, owner of Simpson Galleries. ‘Everything he did was over the top.’” Moore died last year. [Houston Business Journal] Photo: Simpson Galleries

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

No, You Can’t See Ken and Linda Lay’s Renaissance-y Highrise Condo

   

The storied full-floor unit on the 33rd floor of the Huntingdon at 2121 Kirby is at long last on the market . . . for $12.8 Million: “The condo sale is being handled privately by Beau Herrold, Linda Lay’s son from her first marriage. Tours are by invitation only . . . When a Chronicle reporter expressed interest in seeing the condo, so as to best to describe the Italian renaissance decor and ‘villa-style living’ touted in a real estate flier, Herrold had only one comment. ‘I bet you would.’” [Houston Chronicle]

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Friday, September 11, 2009

Studewood Gets Its Spaghetti Western

   

Former chef Robert Gadsby had named his new Heights restaurant after his hometown, in England. But that was so late-last-year. Here’s the latest: Partners Bryan Caswell and Bill Floyd announced Friday afternoon they signed papers to take over the Heights restaurant Bedford and will turn it into a modern Italian restaurant. Think Texas toast meets Tuscan steak, Caswell said. ‘We’re trying to draw the similarities between the rustic-oriented qualities of the Tuscan region with the rustic qualities of the Texas region,’ Caswell said.” Caswell and Floyd own Reef and Little Big’s. [Cook's Tour; previously on Swamplot]

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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Comment of the Day: The Houston Flood House

   

“. . . Lifting every flood-threatened home one story would solve so many problems - where to park the cars, where to store the trash can, where to house the nanny, where to store the wine (doesn’t everybody have these problems?) Just like old-time Louisiana homes. (Anyone been to Laura Plantation?) A while back there was discussion on Swamplot concerning a prototypical or traditional Houston architecture type. I think it should be dog-trot style, with roof-top garden, and raised on gulf-coast-style columns.” [movocelot, commenting on From Show House to Wet House to No House: Saying Goodbye the MacGregor Way]

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Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Comment of the Day: The Elusive Essence of River Oaks

   

“What the hell is ‘A River Oaks style Tuscan beauty’? Can you just add a couple million to the sales price of a house by adding the words ‘River Oaks’ to the description? . . .” [Bernard, commenting on Swamplot Price Adjuster: Blue Bonnet Spread]

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Friday, August 7, 2009

Comment of the Day: North Shepherd Automotive District Expansion Program

   

“Forget Ross and Kroger….I’m excited about the new Auto Parts store that just put up a contruction sign up on 11th and Dorothy (across from Dragon Bowl). How exciting to have a third auto parts store within the 1/10th mile!!!” [biggerintexas, commenting on Opening Day: H-E-B Buffalo Market Stampede Begins]

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Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Opening Day: H-E-B Buffalo Market Stampede Begins

Fresh from a first visit to the new butterfly-roofed, design-pedigreed H-E-B Market on Buffalo Speedway at Bissonnet — which opened to the public bright and early at 6 o’clock this morning — a reader writes in with a report:

There were uniformed traffic directing cops with loud whistles herding eager shoppers into the parking lot. In the entry way, I was greeted by HEB Buddy, some kind of a brown bag cartoon character. The store was packed and had a carnival-like atmosphere. HEB was well-prepared with quadruple staff greeting and answering questions. The buffalo speedway side seems to be more of the Central Market stuff, like Cafe On the Run, bakery, fish market, etc. And the rest of the store feels more like an HEB with Central Market products integrated throughout. As a regular shopper at Central Market, I think having some cheaper alternatives nearby will save me money.

More photos, plus . . . the downside:

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Disaster City in College Station: Modeled After the Worst

   

Lisa Taddeo reports from a pancaked House of Pancakes, a couple of miles south of the Texas A&M campus: “You cannot think calmly when you’re staring into a rubble pile of bodies, half of them moving and half of them still. You have to have been there before. Suppressing panic during crisis takes practice, which is precisely why 150 people have gathered on this dusty 52-acre plot called Disaster City in College Station, Texas: to practice imposing order where normally there isn’t any. . . . Disaster City isn’t a city but a vast disaster-simulation center designed to look and feel as close to catastrophe as you ever want to be. Each hairline crack, each mangled car, all the mountains of rubble are modeled on wreckage from real disasters, like the 1994 Northridge earthquake in Los Angeles that killed 72 people and injured nearly 12,000. The 1993 World Trade Center bombing inspired the collapsed parking garage, with cars dangling off the sides like spiders from a ceiling, while the 12-foot-deep rubble catacombs resemble those from Ground Zero. ‘It’s like a Jerry Bruckheimer set,’ says Brian Smith, Disaster City’s public information officer.” [Popular Science, via Planetizen]

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Thursday, July 9, 2009

Grand Texas Theme Park in Tomball: Bringing Some of that Texas Frontier Spirit to Texas

A California real estate agent who relocated to The Woodlands 5 years ago has plans to build a “Texas”-themed theme park on a foreclosed and forested site in Tomball currently zoned as a subdivision. The 100-acre attraction, which developer and EZ Realty broker Monty Galland envisions as “a combination of an adventure park, museum, retail center and agricultural classroom,” will strive to encompass and celebrate “all that is Texas, Texas History and the Old West.” Yesterday he showed abc13 reporter Sonia Azad a few rough sketches from his architect, out of the back of his SUV.

Grand Texas is Galland’s brainchild. “Met with the architect today,” Galland — or maybe somebody updating the project’s Facebook page for him — wrote on June 25th:

Project is moving along NICELY! We got to see the first of several sketches. It’s kind of like seeing your baby’s first ultrasound picture!

Galland tells the Tomball Potpourri he plans to open the first phase of the park at 11598 Holderrieth Rd., between the railroad tracks and FM 2978, by next April. This would include an indoor entertainment center with rock climbing and a mechanical bull, a play area with pony rides and petting zoos, and a “family-friendly” paintball facility. Planned for the following year:

Wild Texas Frontier, an island filled with activities for all ages, including high ropes courses that traverse a river, canoeing, catch & release fishing, and a giant maze; and The Mansion, a reception hall reminiscent of the Texas State Governors Mansion, which can be used for a wedding reception of up to 400 guests or more intimate business functions.

Where’s all the financing going to come from? Best of all: You can invest!

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Thursday, July 2, 2009

Buffalo Modern: The New H-E-B in West U

Two new buildings designed by regional architecture stars Lake/Flato Architects will open in Houston in the next couple of months: Rice University’s new swimming-pool and palm-tree festooned Wellness Center . . . and this sleek new H-E-B on Buffalo Speedway and Bissonnet.

Strangely, the San Antonio architecture firm didn’t get the late-nineties memo that specified an Alamo flavored Mission Revival strip and shopping center style for the inner Westpark corridor, and opted instead for a modern-looking hangar with a reflective butterfly roof, lots of glass, and a bunch of eco-features. Plus, fancy foods:

Buffalo Market will feature a Central Market Cafe on the Run, offering gourmet to-go items; a cheese shop with, for example, 54 varieties of bleu cheese; 2,000 varieties of wine; and a sushi and cooking demo station.

Half of the 68,000-square-foot H-E-B store will be devoted to perishables. Typically, supermarkets give perishables about one-third of the store space, [H-E-B and Central Market President Scott] McClelland said. There will be less general merchandise.

Buffalo Market will be similar to the H-E-B/Central Market hybrid in The Woodlands, only it will be an updated version, he said.

A few more photos sent in by a reader:

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Bargain Basement Living

   

“. . . it’s really proper to think of the supply of housing types and neighborhood styles as a lagging indicator of the demand for housing types and neighborhood styles. If everyone decided tomorrow that Tuscan was out and Tudor was back in, homebuilders would continue to build Tuscan until there was enough evidence that the trend back towards Tudor was solid. Likewise, if 1/3rd of homebuyers decided tomorrow that they wanted to live in a mixed-use, gridded, somewhat urban neighborhood, developers would keep building “loops and lollipops” exclusively until the demand for mixed-use grids was proven.” [Keep Houston Houston]

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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Comment of the Day: How a Form-Based Code for Bellaire Might Work

   

“In the interests of improving the community as a whole do you think it would be possible for the City of Bellaire to call a moratorium on the building of faux Tuscan McMansions? Or perhaps a number of turrets per home limit?” [Jimbo, commenting on Crossing That Thin Baby Blue Line]

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