02/14/11 2:20pm

That was fast: Yesterday, just a day before Valentine’s Day — and almost exactly 2 weeks after a seemingly candid photo of one of the home’s 2 full bathrooms gained attention all over the internet — the owner of this well-appointed condo in Crescent Park Village accepted a purchase offer. Congratulations! On January 30th, a photo that just happened to include what looked like a 9- or 10-inch uh, stress reliever mounted on the back of the toilet was taken down quickly — followed, in short order, by the entire listing. Really? Some sellers would do anything for that kind of attention. Well, maybe a different kind of attention. But with a new MLS number, the offending photo removed, and a sub-$70K asking price, this home still got noticed. Of course, we’re all hoping the buyer’s likely-to-be-very-careful home inspection won’t turn up any additional surprises.

For any of you who might have missed it the first time, Swamplot’s uncensored photo home tour from the original listing is reprised here:

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02/07/11 3:20pm

COMMENT OF THE DAY: WHERE YOU WANT ALL THOSE FLOWERS “Seriously – in the bathroom sink? In the yard? By the pool? It’s like if you crossed Ladies Home Journal with Dr. Seuss (‘Would you, could you on the grass? Would you, could you on desk of glass? What about near the commode? Or three vases, on the road?’)” [LT, commenting on Old Braeswood House of Bouquet]

01/31/11 12:27pm

It’s not clear exactly who it was that first noticed the oh, maybe 9- or 10-inch-tall object sitting upright in the background of a bathroom photo included in the for-sale listing on Cressida Glen Ln. in Crescent Park Village. The listing for the Alief property — just minutes from the Westpark Tollway! — was first posted 15 days ago, but it wasn’t until early yesterday morning that email and online discussions about it really got going. The photo caption read “Large master with jacuzzi tub” and showed the sink, toilet, and a bit of the shower curtain, but that’s not what caught your attention. “I called [the real estate agent] to give her a heads up and she hung up [on] me so I took a picture to post on the internet for eternity,” a Reddit user commented around 1 pm. An hour or so later, the photo was gone from the listing.

What photo? The NSFW one below:

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01/28/11 12:32pm

A reader who says he’s always been curious what the gaudiest house in Houston looks like on the inside tells Swamplot his wish has come true — now that photos of this 5-bedroom just-outside-the-Beltway home at 12930 Memorial Dr. have been published on MLS. Four readers have written in to express awe at its appearance. “I’m not sure how to even begin describing the living area decor,” writes another, who also seems transfixed on the “giant high heel and giant lady statues (or are those murals?) in the entryway,” as well as the mermaid-themed master bathroom.

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01/11/11 2:11pm

Dusted off and back on the market with a new . . . uh, MLS number for the new year: This Rancho Escondido number from 1986 out there in Willis, putting in at the far side of Lake Conroe. We’ve tracked it back as far as last May and a $975,000 asking price; the 4,535-sq.-ft. home on a half acre is now down to $845,000. From the street the 4-bedroom, 3-1/2-bath home plays it quiet and Ranch-like, but once you’re inside the animal-skin prints and views open up:

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12/27/10 2:04pm

This early Nixon-era single-story at 418 Thamer Circle, which hit the market a few days before Christmas, offers plenty of domestic secrecy: no windows onto its Hunterwood surroundings, a walled-in central courtyard with a pool, a long and curving front driveway, and a three-quarter-acre lot on a cul-de-sac. And you’ll find plenty of era design in this home just north of the fairways of Houston Country Club, too: skylights, crimson laminated countertops, an old-school intercom system, and a showroom’s worth of sliding glass doors. Plus some old wallpaper styles that you didn’t think you’d have to kick around anymore:

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11/30/10 6:56pm

So many cute little diamond shapes on display at the front of this redone 1963 Ranch on the western bank of White Oak Bayou in Timbergrove Manor! And a few more show up elsewhere: In the tile floor of the breakfast room and den, and on the lily pond backstop wall. But still, so many other places a new owner could add them:

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11/23/10 11:30am

This expansive custom home creation resides on just under 3 1/2 acres in the Tomball subdivision of Haven, right near Oklahoma (the one in Texas). There are 5 bedrooms and 5 baths in the main building’s 5,700 sq. ft. But if that doesn’t give you enough space to to maintain your sense of privacy, there’s always the 1,300 sq.-ft. 2-bedroom guesthouse out back. Garage space is ample enough for a 7-car motorcade, with entry protected by an automatic gate. Interior moods at the main house range from masculine to woodsy to golden to pink; additional perks include a private cinema chamber, exercise room, plus that multi-tiered entrance fountain. More views:

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10/06/10 2:03pm

COMMENT OF THE DAY: DUMPSTER MODERN “This one looked like the love child of Bushwood Country Club and the Houston Junior League building on the inside, but remove the Boise State football field, consign grandma’s victorian chandelier collection, remove grandpa’s smoke infested wood paneling and replace with a mix of ranch-modern interior and 21st century awesome…[and] this place would rock.” [jg, commenting on Daily Demolition Report: Ocee What’s No Longer There] Photo: HAR

10/04/10 3:31pm

Longtime Swamplot readers may remember Richard Maier as the listing agent who advertised his own Talbott Wilson modern as a freebie that just happened to come with the 1.35-acre lot on Glencove St. he was selling. (The pitch was successful, luring buyer David Mincberg and later, a demolition crew.) Michael X. Flynn was the designer and contractor responsible for transforming a small Upper Kirby office building into this little villa of vaguely Corbusian pleasures. (That one’s still on the market.) Now they’ve put their own little uh, white house on the market. The pair moved into 26 Crestwood Dr. a few years ago, though they previously owned the 2 properties that flank it. All 3 mansions share a gated driveway that faces directly into the southern reaches of Memorial Park.

Now’s your chance to peek around what they’re leaving — the scene of that Annise Parker fundraiser you missed:

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08/31/10 2:23pm

COMMENT OF THE DAY: CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO TALK ABOUT THIS HOUSE “. . . There is no calliope in the rumpus room to mock. No discount Hall of Mirrors to deride. Nary a bevy of Spring Bok heads lining the walls, nor herds of cattle skins adorning the marble floors, can be found in this fine salt box. Little Elliot’s do-it-yourself version of Serrano’s ‘Piss Christ (with #2!)’ is nowhere to be seen. It’s pretty much tabula rasa with some ecru, antique white, eggshell, and Sonoran sand thrown in the mix. To answer the eternal question of, ‘Is there color in your world?’ Sometimes, not so much.” [wilf, commenting on A Little Bit Country, a Little Bit Town]

08/31/10 8:08am

This updated corner Ranch with the DJ-booth-style kitchen in the center sits just outside the designated 100-year floodplain in Candlelight Estates. It showed up in MLS just yesterday, sporting a $349K sticker price. Includes 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, a 9,400-sq.-ft. lot, a pool, and these HDR pix:

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08/30/10 11:59am

This Fonn Villas cul-de-sac saltbox backs up to the Town & Country Candlewood Suites. That puts it within range of the afternoon shadows of CityCentre‘s taller buildings. Inside, a lot has changed since 1964: A recent kitchen renovation includes an eat-in island where seated family members can watch a wall-mounted TV, monitor the wine closet or powder room, or just stare out the window if they don’t feel like talking to each other. The place was listed just last Friday, for $559,000.

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