WHAT REALLY MAKES IT ALL WORTHWHILE Meanwhile, Laura Lark is hoping that Houston’s 2 new art fairs don’t overshadow this town’s “wacky, welcoming” feeling: “Because, honestly, the coming of the first art fair in Houston reminds me a bit of my neighborhood, and I’m a tad conflicted. I live in Montrose. It’s a little funky, but it used to be REALLY funky, with drag queens and artist studios and a crack house on the other side of my fence. In the past several years it’s become gentrified. Instead of the charming fellows who used to steal magazines like Big Black Butt and moan while jerking off until I sprayed them down with the hose, I now have a couple from Katy whose friends roar at the game on the outdoor big screen TV and toss Smirnoff Ice bottles into my yard. I’d get in trouble if I hosed them down, which totally pisses me off. The people behind me are soulless jerks and a lot less interesting than even the worst-dressed transvestite, but my property value’s quadrupled, so I don’t complain as much as I should. So let’s hope, as an art community, we can maintain our character and keep the imported assholes to a minimum while still raising awareness of our fabulousness and the market value of works sold. That would make a Houston art fair, like the city itself, worth it.” [Glasstire; previously on Swamplot]
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Tag: 77006
MONTROSE HOSTEL OPENING SOON 
The former Lovett Inn at 501 Lovett St. in the heart of Montrose will officially reopen as Hostelling International USA’s Morty Rich Hostel on September 25. The 50-bed facility, which will have both shared and private rooms for travelers, is named after the late son of Houston entrepreneurs, developers, and Rice U benefactors Hershel and Hilda Rich. [Hair Balls; previously on Swamplot] Photo: Bart Vis [license]
The only thing remotely “disco” about the newly completed renovation of the Kroger at 3300 Montrose Blvd., aka Disco Kroger: The tiny lights inside the new letters on the newly stone-clad entrance. And they’re now covered in plastic. No disco ball in sight. But inside the 41,000-sq.-ft. store, it’s all hustle: Most of the checkout lanes are now express lanes, designed to get shoppers with less than 20 items out the door as quickly as possible. A new QueVision system monitors the number of customers and open lanes, helping cashiers predict how many will need to be open in the next half-hour:
Over at the Houston Press, food critic Katharine Shilcutt and chief mapmaker Monica Fuentes have traced the history of locally owned restaurants on the stretch of Lower Westheimer from east of Taft all the way to Dunlavy way, way back — to the long-ago days of 1997. Sure, the sequence of maps (see below for the latest) leaves out bars, coffee shops, and fast-food joints, but culinary additions are color-coded (after the start date) by year of appearance. Featured appearances between now and next year: Underbelly, the Hay Merchant, Uchi, and L’Olivier. Your guide to eating the strip and curve:
COMMENT OF THE DAY: WE’RE DROWNING IN GROCERY STORES HERE “I love [Trader Joe’s] but [the] last thing I want is another grocery store within a 2-3 mile radius of my home in Montrose. Kroger @ West Gray, Kroger @ Montrose, Fiesta @ Dunlavy, HEB @ Dunlavy, Whole Foods @ Kirby, Whole Foods @ W. Gray, Rice Epi @ Westheimer/Weslayan, Central Market @ Westheimer/Weslayan, Randalls @ Westheimer/Shepherd . . . did I miss anyone? Let’s put it somewhere were it is needed like in the Heights. I would gladly drive there to shop at TJs!” [MVB, commenting on A Trader Joe’s in the Alabama Theater?]
Who’s going to lease those small retail spaces being developed along with Uchi’s takeover of the former Felix Mexican Restaurant space in Montrose? Here’s one answer: Opening later this year just behind the restaurant will be Southside Espresso, a new retail coffee house venture (and beer-and-wine bar) from Sean Marshall, the proprietor of Fusion Beans. The 714-sq.-ft. space has an address of 904B Westheimer, but the front door faces Grant St. The coffee shop will be open from 7 am to 11 pm and allow customers to use the same bathroom facilities as Uchi patrons.
Also helping to tip Westheimer’s boiling point a little further east: another new coffee shop, just announced for the recently re-muraled former Mary’s, Naturally space at 1018 Westheimer. Picky caffeine prophets David Buehrer and Ecky Prabanto will be moving up from their popular perch at Greenway Coffee & Tea in the basement food court of Greenway Plaza building number 5. (They plan to keep that small but popular shop running, though.) Their new Montrose venture, Blacksmith, will likely include “a small, but full kitchen” when it opens next spring, Buehrer reports.
City workers were on the job late yesterday repairing what appears to have been a broken water main on Kipling St. just east of Dunlavy in Mandell Place. The crews dug out the driveway and installed new pipe only 2 days after Swamplot’s report on neighborhood pumping operations (and a Houston Press follow-on) — but more than 2 weeks after the leak was originally reported to the city. No word yet on whether repairs have been completed.
- Previously on Swamplot: Pumping the Streets: Drought Brings Mandell Place Residents Free Water
Photo: Candace Garcia
Montrose all-star convenience store Pak’s has been hit by the same pair of robbers 5 times in the last 8 months. And now it’s been remodeled, with an eye on security. The cashier area is now surrounded by glass, and a new wall adjacent to it now extends from the front to the back, closing off one side of the store, Swamplot photographer Candace Garcia reports. Behind that wall is a mysterious black box, measuring maybe 500 sq. ft. that’s visible to the street. What’s going in there? An owner confirms to Garcia it’s a new lease space, though no tenant has been identified yet.
ONE’S A MEAL NO MORE 
“People have weddings here. They don’t want to put One’s A Meal on their wedding invitations. ‘Ted’s’ sounded corny . . . like a diner. [Besides the name] I haven’t changed one thing. The employees didn’t change, the menu didn’t change.” — New owner Ted Mousoudakis, who’s changed the name of the Lower Westheimer 24-hour joint to “Theo’s.” Also new: the beer and wine license. [Eating Our Words; previously on Swamplot] Photo: Candace Garcia
PEDEN WATER MYSTERY What’s with the water flow on Peden St. just east of Montrose Blvd.? An “avid” Swamplot reader writes: “A cluster of my neighbors . . . have received CoH water bills for the past 4 months that are much higher than average. As you know, the City helpfully advises we ‘check for leaks.’ No leaks. Check. I’ve tested the water meter with controlled withdrawals. The meter itself seems fine. Check. As best as we know from our individual habits, none of us have significantly changed our water use patterns, even in this hot, hot summer. Much of my flora is dead or dying. Check again. Can you or any of your readers suggest any steps we might take to find out what’s going on here, fight the Water Dept and these absurd bills? I thought of hiring a civil engineer, but my Google search didn’t find anyone that seemed to fit the ‘water’ bill. Can you help?” [Swamplot inbox]
What to do when the city can’t get around to fixing that leak on your street? An enterprising resident of Kipling St. near Dunlavy bought an $80 pump at Southland Hardware and connected it to a hose, allowing neighbors to take turns watering their lawns with the water, which has been running for about 2 weeks. “I hope the cost of the electricity is less than the water cost savings,” he tells Swamplot photographer Candace Garcia. Garcia herself called 311 about the leak more than a week ago, and says others who have reported it say they’ve been told by city officials that the heat and drought has caused more than 400 water leaks around the city, and that the biggest leaks are being tackled first. As of last night, a second pump has begun operating up the street.
Photos: Candace Garcia
COMMENT OF THE DAY: BACK IN THE WILD DAYS OF CASTLE COURT “I’m sure the townhouses on Mandell near Castle Court are quite nice, but what could ever compare to the story of the house formerly on the site that housed Hugo the gorilla? Thanks to a friend who lived nearby, seeing him remains one of my most vivid memories after over 40 years.” [Hellsing, commenting on Comment of the Day: You Can’t Buy Home Again; more info]
CY TWOMBLY, 1928-2011 
Famed scribbler and smudger Cy Twombly died earlier today in Rome after a battle with cancer. He was 83. A ceiling painting created by the shy former army cryptologist for the Louvre opened to the public just last year. In 1995, a permanent exhibition of his works opened in Renzo Piano’s quiet addition to the Menil Collection at 1501 Branard St. in Montrose. [Arts Beat] Photo: Stephen Bridges
Two sets of self-proclaimed artisans are hard at work on the southernmost space in Midtown’s super-urban Mix building at 3201 Louisiana. First, there’s Artisan Builders, now building out the 4,800 sq.-ft. restaurant space on the corner of Stuart St., which a source at the construction company says will include a small outdoor patio in front. Then there’s the French restaurant getting ready to move in 4 to 5 months from now, which will now be called Artisans Restaurant. (That’s a change from an earlier name: Chef’s Table.) In charge of the interior: Austin’s Michael Hsu Office of Architecture, of Austin and Houston Uchi fame. Hsu and Artisan Builders also collaborated a few years ago on Sushi Raku at the other end of the building.
- New Restaurant Coming to The Mix @ Midtown [InnerLooped]
- Previously on Swamplot: A Look at the New Midtown Restaurant in the Mix, Going Up in Midtown: The Calais’s New Neighbor
Photo: InnerLooped
MARY’S GENITALS, AS THEY WERE 
Groinal abnormalities painted onto the recreated Mary’s mural at 1022 Westheimer only hours after it was completed were quickly removed in time for Saturday’s Houston Pride Parade, on-the-spot culture reporter Steven Thomson assures us: “The sexual playing field and artistic integrity were quickly restored on Friday morning as [artist Cody] Ledvina sanded down the unwanted addition and repainted the former crotches, true to form.” [Culturemap; previously on Swamplot] Photo: Cameron Blaylock
