COMMENT OF THE DAY: WHAT MONEY IS FOR “. . . Eh, I like it. I mean, what’s the point of being rich if you only decorate your house for resale?” [Sihaya, commenting on River Oaks House of Wow]
Sign up for the Newsletter
I’LL TAKE A TABLE UP IN FRONT BY THE BUMPERS, PLEASE 
Winning the top spot in Houston Press food critic Katharine Shilcutt’s personal accounting of the 5 ugliest restaurant buildings in Houston: “Anything in a strip center.” And with that award, these comments: “. . . that’s roughly half the restaurants in Houston. You’d think that because they’re so predominant, it would have gotten easier by now to convince wary friends that a place is good even if it’s sandwiched between a Smoke ‘n’ Toke and a payday loan place on Gulfton. But books will always be judged by their covers — and restaurants are no different.
I’m tooling with a theory right now in which one of the main reasons Houston is so ignored on the national scene is because so many of our great restaurants are in shitty, suburban strip malls. But it’s a great Catch-22: These amazing restaurants have moved into low-rent areas . . . because it’s easier to take bigger risks and open fledgling businesses when your overhead is low. Alas, eight lanes of Westheimer traffic don’t have quite the allure that Williamsburg does. . . .” Other non-strip winners in Shilcutt’s book: Lucky Burger, Sparkle’s Hamburger Spot on Dowling, Aladdin on Lower Westheimer, and Ruth’s Chris on Richmond Ave. [Eating Our Words] Photo: Tier 2 Business Brokers
Making its debut last night at the Sabine Promenade downtown: The Buffalo Bayou Invasive Plant Eradication Unit, equipped with gardening tools, microscopes and plant presses, and a taco-truck style ordering counter where you can report or learn about the latest local vegetation battles. The food-truck-style mobile exhibit and lab is the work of New York artist Mark Dion, commissioned by the Houston Arts Alliance and the Buffalo Bayou Partnership. Next stops: the Holly Hall Retirement Community Plant and Bulb Mart at 2000 Holly Hall St. (on Friday) and the Native Plant Symposium at the Omni Hotel at Eldridge Parkway and the Katy Freeway (Saturday). Look for the converted Ford van with the skull and crossed pitchfork and shovel.
- Fighting Invasive Plant Species, One Mobile Artwork at a Time [Art Attack]
- Traveling artwork to be unveiled Wednesday at Sabine Promenade [YourHoustonNews]
- With aliens invading, the Buffalo Bayou Partnership rolls out a plant eradication truck (not a food truck) [Culturemap]
Photo: Meredith Deliso
Only 2 days on the market, and already this River Oaks home has become a Swamplot tipster favorite. Born in 1934 from plans by the Russell Brown Company, the home’s more recent mostly red- and green-hued interior is attributed to George Weinle, apparently a fan of hovering centerpieces. The 3- or 4-bedroom home sits quietly across from Elliott Park, just west of Kirby Dr. It’s been listed for just north of $2 million.
No photo today. Just imagine the destruction.
COMMENT OF THE DAY: GET ME REWRITE! “I’d be surprised if the chamber of commerce didn’t pay for this kind of publicity on a regular basis. . . . it seems like Houston missed an opportunity to get some national visibility via this very popular show. I agree with the concern that there would have been no editorial rights for the city – but then I’d have to ask if you’re so worried about our city looking bad on a TV show, how ’bout improving the city?” [Karen, commenting on Why There’s No Top Chef in Houston]
PLEASE BRING YOUR FINAL PURCHASES TO CONROE FORÂ CHECKOUT 
Any plans to rebuild the Garden Ridge store at the northern border of The Woodlands on I-45 near Hwy. 242 — destroyed by fire today — will likely get careful scrutiny: “As one of the city’s ‘big box’ stores, Garden Ridge straddles the city limits between Conroe and The Woodlands Township. The cash registers are located in Conroe, the result of an annexation agreement reached between the neighboring communities in 2006.” [Montgomery County Courier] Photo: KHOU
HOUSTON’S MORNING BUZZ WILL START AN HOUR LATER Among the changes included in the revised noise ordinance that city council approved today with only a single “no” vote: An extra leaf-blower-free hour in the morning. The go-ahead time for yard work using lawn mowers, weedwhackers, and other powered equipment in residential areas has been moved from 7 am to 8 am. The penalty for all noise violations has been doubled, from $500 to $1,000. [Rocks Off]
A new 6-story apartment building is being planned for the now-cleared Midtown block surrounded by Elgin, Smith, Rosalie, and Louisiana streets — one block north of the Calais at Courtland Square apartment complex and a block west of High Fashion Fabrics. A variance request for the 147-unit building doesn’t name the developer or show any renderings, but indicates that the bottom 2 stories of the building will consist of a parking garage, topped by 4 floors of apartments wrapped around an interior courtyard.
That’s similar to the configuration of some sections of the Calais — notably the dramatic arched streetfront along Smith St. (shown in the photo above), which contributes a dynamic tableau of headlights, bumpers, license plates, and the occasional hood ornament to passersby at street level. (The view changes daily.) The developers of this new apartment building are looking to recreate some of that Calais streetside magic, according to the variance:
The next contender for the endcap of the Modern strip center at the corner of North Shepherd Dr. and 34th St. refashioned last year from the longtime home of Garden Oaks’ Binswanger Glass Co. is almost in. Taking over from the stalled out Octane Coffee and Wine Lounge will be the Shepherd Park Draught House — a pub featuring a full menu and an interior festooned with punk, pop, and rock memorabilia. Its owner: Ken Bridge of Delicious Concepts, the same company behind Heights restaurants Lola, Dragon Bowl, and (most notably) Pink’s Pizza, which has a convenient location next door. Expected opening date: “very soon.”
PAYING THE ASHBY HIGHRISE AWAY Former apartment manager and accountant Randy Locke, who’s running for city council in the district that includes the site of the Ashby Highrise, has a plan to stop the proposed 23-story development at 1717 Bissonnet St. — but it’ll cost: “I don’t believe that the monies offered these builders were sufficient enough to get them to go away,” he tells reporter Chris Moran. “[Locke] did not identify the private interests he said offered the developers money, but pledged that, if elected, he would convene a meeting between the developers and those private interests within 30 days, and, “‘I’ll convince the other people that were chipping in the money to give them a little bit more and we’ll make the whole thing go away.’” [Houston Chronicle; previously on Swamplot; Ashby Highrise coverage]
According to the Greater Houston Planning Alliance, which heard the news from the Texas Historical Commission — which heard the news from the project’s architect in Dallas — current plans for turning the former Alabama Theater into a Trader Joe’s now call for the terrazzo flooring at the theater’s Shepherd Dr. entrance to be left in place. Building owner Weingarten Realty apparently still has plans to move the front doors 7 or 8 ft. further toward the street, though; according to the GHPA, an accessibility consultant has advised project architect Don Sopranzi that there is no problem with the existing floor’s slope. Weingarten received approval from the city last month to scrape up the swirly patterned flooring outside the entrance and replace it with concrete.
COMMENT OF THE DAY: UH . . . HELLO? “I would love to know more about the giant brick hand that greets you as you drive east of Lyons. Does anyone know what its origin is?” [RWBoyd, commenting on Hello from the Fifth]