GROWING UP WITH MCDONALD’S 
If it seems like there’s a McDonald’s on every corner in Texas, it’s because the hamburger giant keeps building 40 to 50 new pad sites a year, says the company’s regional real estate manager. Reporter Catie Dixon explains: “The company isn’t increasing its density; it’s just trying to keep up with Texas’ rapid population growth.” [Real Estate Bisnow] Photo of McDonald’s at 1421 Nasa Rd.: Hua Bao
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IT’LL TAKE A LITTLE WHILE TO ASSEMBLE THAT NEW IKEA ROOFTOP FURNITURE 
All the pieces are there, but now here comes the hard part. A scene familiar to many IKEA customers is now taking place on a large scale on top of the Houston IKEA store’s roof, where workers from contractor REC Solar are assembling flat-packed stacks of 3,962 solar panels into a 116,400-sq.-ft. PV array. The panels arrived on site at the end of last year, but construction won’t be complete until sometime this summer. When it’s done, the company says, the installation will generate enough energy to power 113 homes — or a larger number of in-store room displays. [Swamplot inbox; previously on Swamplot] Photo: IKEA Houston
COMMENT OF THE DAY: WOULD’VE KNOCKED IT IF I HADN’T TRIED IT “Normally, I’m all for jumping on the ‘this is why we’re fat’ bandwagon, as well as the one that’s opposed to Austin imports. But having sampled a Tootie Pie, they are dang good. I’m actually excited about this one.” [MJ, commenting on More Houses Wanted for More Pies]
MORE HOUSES WANTED FOR MORE PIES 
HBJ food-beat reporter Allison Wollam, who’s heard recently that “pies are the ‘new cupcakes,’†reports that San Antonio pie chain Tootie Pies is scouring Houston for locations to build 8 new Tootie Pie Gourmet Cafés here over the next 2 years. That would more than double the new chain’s current lineup: The sixth Tootie location recently opened in Austin’s Westlake Village; other stores are in San Antonio, Austin, Fredericksburg, and the Dallas area. [Houston Business Journal] Photo of Austin store: Dan B.
NO, DUNKIN’ DONUTS IS NOT COMING TO THE CORNER OF WESTHEIMER AND DUNLAVY 
Did yesterday’s announcement that Dunkin’ Donuts plans to open 16 new franchises in Houston over the next 5 years add fuel to the persistent rumor that one of them is headed for the recently cleared northwest corner of Westheimer and Dunlavy in Montrose? A leasing agent who says he’s negotiating with “a couple of very strong retailers” to get them into the new 4,829-sq.-ft. center planned for the site by owner SFT Investments is ready to quash it. “I will tell you that at no time were we in negotiations with Dunkin Donuts,” Jed Mandel of Edge Realty Partners tells Swamplot. “I do not know how that rumor was started but I still get phone calls on the property begging us not to put them in.” [Swamplot inbox] Rendering: Edge Realty Partners
COMMENT OF THE DAY: A CITY THAT HELPS TO CLEAR THE MIND “One nice thing about living in Houston is that if you have bad memories of a place, eventually someone will tear it down.” [clairedammit, commenting on Daily Demolition Report: Nail Columbia]
A MUSEUM DISTRICT RESTAURANT CONVERSION CUT SHORT 
How far along did Randy Rucker get turning the 3,624-sq.-ft. former doctors’ office directly behind the Asia Society Texas Center into a restaurant — before the plug was pulled? Restaurant conÄt will not be opening at 5219 Caroline St., the lone holdout on the Museum District block demolished for architect Yoshio Taniguchi’s first freestanding new building in the U.S., which opened officially earlier this month. Rucker writes he’ll “continue to search for a location to help give life to restaurant conat & make it a reality”; he’d been working on the project with pastry chef Chris Leung. The partnership with building owner Balcor Commercial, announced last August, has been called off. [29-95; previously on Swamplot] Photo: Candace Garcia
DUNKIN’ DONUTS’ BIG TEXAS PUSH 
Franchise group 521 Interests plans to open 16 Dunkin’ Donuts stores in Houston — as part of plans by the nation’s largest bagel retailer to double the number of U.S. locations over the next 20 years. No rush, though: The first new Houston store won’t open until next year; the 15 others should all be open by 2018. Five Dunkin Donuts locations are already open in the Houston area. Also coming to Texas: 9 new franchises in San Antonio, as well as 50 in the Dallas-Fort Worth area over the next 5 years under a limited partnership agreement with the family of Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and Troy Aikman. [Dunkin’ Donuts] Photo of Bellaire location: Jimmy W.
COMMENT OF THE DAY: THE TACO CURE “they need to talk to torchy’s to find out how they broke the curse of that shepherd location.” [spiteful, commenting on Another Turnover in the House of La Strada]
COMMENT OF THE DAY: A BETTER USE FOR THAT SPACE ABOVE THE FRIDGE “I agree that they did a great job remodeling this house, and an even better job photographing it. However, the thing that drives me nuts is the requisite wine-rack-above-fridge. Wine shouldn’t be kept at room temperature in Houston, unless you can afford to keep your house far cooler than I keep mine. Regardless, refrigerators cool by removing the heat inside. Where does that heat go? Out the back, and up! Heat rises, right into that wine. We need to find a better use for this space, maybe one that could even benefit from the heat. Built in crock-pots? Egg-incubators for backyard chickens? Anything but wine!” [Soulfinger, commenting on Spruced Up in Spring Shadows]
THE LOWEDOWN ON LOWER WESTHEIMER? Travel + Leisure “Best, Most, Least” linkbaiter Katrina Brown Hunt tries out a little practical joke on Montrose-bound gullible types in her brief writeup of Houston, ranked a slackin’ No. 26 in the magazine’s accounting of America’s Best Cities for Hipsters: “Like many cities, Houston gives nicknames to its trendy neighborhoods. Case in point: LoWe, short for Lower Westheimer, where you can hang out at Mediterranean-themed coffee shop Agora, dive lounge Catbirds, or El Real Tex-Mex within a historic 1930s theater.” LoWe? Further tourist-oriented insight: “Houston also has two seemingly incompatible draws, according to readers: it ranked well for both luxury shopping and for being affordable.” [Travel + Leisure, via Hair Balls]
SMELT ON THE BANKS OF THE HOUSTON SHIP CHANNEL 
Included in USA Today‘s national list of “ghost factories” — forgotten lead smelting sites that have left behind toxic particles in the nearby soil — is the Lead Products Co. site at 709 N. Velasco St., just south of the Ship Channel a mile and a half east of Downtown. The TCEQ tells the newspaper that the site was a secondary lead smelter until 1968: “Contamination at the site is being addressed under a voluntary cleanup program and has focused on the disposal of lead battery casings at the site and on the adjoining KQXT transmitter property, the state said. Cleanup actions have included construction and placement of an earthen cap. Groundwater contamination also has been investigated, the state said.” Helpfully, Lead Products Co. has a “ghost” website to go along with its “ghost” factory. [USA Today] Photo of adjacent Cary St. play area: Lead Products Co.
COMMENT OF THE DAY: IN DEFENSE OF IKEA’S STARTER SOLAR PANELS “1) The electricity amount is irrelevant. What better option is there for using their rooftop real estate? 2) All energy projects are subsidized. The main differences with solar is that homes and businesses can access energy subsidies generally reserved for much larger corporations who work further upstream. 3) Assuming an install cost of $2.50/W, an effective generation rate of $0.08/kwh, the Fed ITC of 30%, and depreciation, the project has 12 year payback on a 25 year warranty. It’s not great investment, but its a secure, has markting benefits, and increases the resale value of their building. Also, I imagine the recession has curtailed IKEA expansion, which implies IKEA is running out of depreciable assets. 4) Most state and local incentives are giant wastes of money, but Houston has none. In fact, it is the largest US city without a net-metering policy, and as such you can’t eliminate your electric bill with 100% on-site power generation in Houston anyway.” [SolarWonk, commenting on Houston IKEA Going Solar]
ANOTHER TURNOVER IN THE HOUSE OF LA STRADA 
The Don Julio’s in Montrose will serve its last margarita this Sunday before retreating to a new but more familiarly suburban location in Missouri City, reports b4-u-eat. The Mexican restaurant took over last year from Caffe Bello, which took over the previous year from La Strada in that restaurant’s custom-built building at 322 Westheimer, at the corner of Taft St. Taking over this summer at the same spot, reads the report: “a steak house.” According to Eating Our Words, though, it should be a “high end Mexican” steakhouse, run by Don Julio’s investors. [b4-u-eat; Eating Our Words; previously on Swamplot] Photo: Don Julio’s
STRIP CENTER PUNISHMENT 
Houston’s “preeminent BDSM dungeon,” writes the Houston Press‘s Jef with One F, “started out as a simple one-room space in the Galleria area in 2010, but now hosts a multi-room facility that serves as one of the few full-time dungeons in the city.” A FourSquare listing reveals that Maison Noir is lodged inside “erotic fantasy superstore” Bizarre Times, in the crotch of a strip center on Winrock just north of Westheimer, across the street from the Penthouse Club and the Super Clean Carwash. “The facility is outfitted with many pieces of bondage furniture such as a vertical steel cage, a St. Andrews Cross, a CBT chair . . . multiple spanking benches, a vertical rack, and a bondage table.” [Art Attack] Update, 4/20: A couple of dominatrixes have sternly corrected us; Maison Noir moved from its Winrock location earlier this year. Photo: LoopNet
