06/14/10 10:24am

Those of you who feared the appearance in Swamplot comments of a second warning sign might be the signal of an escalating fruit-tree security threat in West U need not be alarmed: It’s apparently nothing new. The reader who first sent in a photo of the best-protected fruit tree in town — on Tangley Rd. west of Buffalo Speedway — claims not to have even noticed that the second sign a few steps away was any different from the first. And yet it is! The uh, somewhat enhanced wording on the second sign is en Español.

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06/09/10 2:36pm

And here we have perhaps the best-monitored fig tree on Tangley, west of Buffalo Speedway in West University. Practicing for the thorough investigation that is sure to follow, the reader who sent us the tip claims to have been “in the middle of a public street when I took the photo.” Fig poachers, you have been warned! Says our reader:

who knew these figs were so valuable they’re worth the sign, netting, security camera, and wiring installed to protect them?

Oh, but have you ever tasted a West U fig?

Late Update: The fig tree has been outed by several commenters. C’mon — fess up! You’re really a peach, aren’t you?

Photo: Swamplot inbox

06/08/10 11:08am

Whose idea was it to make the new standard-issue Texas license plates look like cheezy souvenirs from some island celebration vacation? Well, this should fix that: Here’s Houston graphic designer Craig Minor’s new no-nonsense version, intended to look especially sharp below the front grille of one of those mean wader pickups comin’ right atcha. And hey look, it’s bilingual!

Minor’s Texas plate redesign was commissioned by Fast Company blogger Ken Carbone, a mean graphic designer himself. But it isn’t just Texas’s new plates he’s picking on — recent license-plate design is namby-pamby all over. He groups recent plate designs into 3 categories: the acceptable, the unfortunate, and the “so bad it’s good.” Carbone showcases his own improved version for New York, and gets other designers to draw up improvements for Illinois and California:

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06/08/10 10:32am

What is it with the signage for Metro Realty Group properties? It’s attracted gentrifying Shepherd Jesus over by Center St.; and (as commenter Nord noted yesterday) this bit of snarky graffiti in the woods by White Oak Bayou at the Studewood overpass, just north of I-10.

Oh, and it looks like there’s more to say on the other side:

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04/27/10 9:48am

A reader who’s had an eye on Montrose’s Tower Theatre ever since Hollywood Video moved out — and who became “rather upset” at the disappearance of the building’s original marquee — sends a few snapshots of the scene near the corner of Yoakum and Westheimer:

. . . I saw some workers putting up new wood a few weeks ago and painting the front of the building a few days ago.

And what do we see in these snaps?

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01/28/10 1:26pm

REVENGE OF THE BLOWUPS A small fire at a new strip center on Cullen Blvd. just south of the Beltway early this morning is being blamed on a giant inflatable gorilla on the roof. “Houston Fire Department District Chief Fred Hooker says some type of a ‘blowup doll’ was on the roof, the item deflated and landed on some lights, leading to the fire. Fire authorities say two stores suffered minor water damage.” A new Houston law banning inflatable signs took effect at the start of this year. The strip center was just outside city limits. [Houston Chronicle; previously on Swamplot]

12/28/09 2:25pm

COMMENT OF THE DAY: MORE SIGNS OF WHAT THEY’RE THINKING ABOUT IN MONTROSE “There are several more signs on Taft: I really want a baby, just not now. On Westheimer, there’s a sign across for Bj’s that says: I think I’m a bad artist. On Mandell, there are several more signs: I really want to win the lottery and I sometimes think about men. I have photos, just not with me.” [Candace, commenting on Wanted in Montrose: Rock Hard, Built by Apple]

12/28/09 10:17am

Trying to work in a little last-minute resale shopping before Christmas, photographer Sarah Lipscomb spots a few signs that some desirable hardware is missing in Montrose:

My mom and I were on our way to the Guild Shop the other day and I noticed a couple of multi colored signs posted just before the Fiesta on Dunlavy. The first one says “WHY CAN’T YOU LOVE ME” the next one “LIKE l LOVE YOU?” I thought this was curious, my mom didn’t notice and we kept driving. We get to the Guild and it was closed for Christmas so we turned right on Welch and headed to the Blue Bird (our second choice in Resale shops.) I then see two more signs. The first one says “I WANT A ROCK HARD” next one “SIX PACK” Now I am getting really interested . . .

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12/21/09 11:17am

LIGHT RAIL CONSTRUCTION AND THE GORILLAS’ LAST STAND The latest idea from Metro: Create official signs, flags, and banners for businesses along light-rail construction routes, to show they’re still in business, and to guide cars into open parking areas. Only problem? “Some of the proposed flags would flutter afoul of the city’s newly tightened sign ordinance, which bans certain types of ‘attention-getting devices.’ City Council may have to approve a small change in the city’s sign law to allow temporary banners to stay up for longer than the allotted seven out of 30 days, according to city public works official Andy Icken. . . . The city’s new sign ordinance kicks in on Jan. 1. It bans the giant inflatable balloon animals and other eye-catching gizmos that you often see on Houston’s highways and roads. So enjoy the giant ‘For Sale’ gorillas while you can. Also, the dancing wind socks along the side of the road, the silver and blue streamers at car dealerships, and the other pennants, pinwheels and puppets meant to pull your gaze from the road to the roadside.” [Houston Chronicle; previously on Swamplot]

09/11/09 12:40pm

A reader from the Heights sends in photos documenting only the latest scene in Houston’s long and theatrical history of commingled real estate and political ambition. If you like, say, the pricing on the homes Karen Derr’s former company sells — like this one at 946 Arlington St. — you’ll certainly want to see Derr join city council!

But what’s with that part in red letters? Maybe just to let voters know she’s a little less favorably disposed toward freeform demolition than, say, former candidate/broker Michael Berry was. Writes our reader and snapshooter:

I am guessing that Karen Derr’s office rec’d so many calls as to the future of this house- one the few remaining 19th century homes in the Heights, that she had the “Remodel” sign made and stuck atop her broker sign. . . . Karen used to be on the board of the Houston Heights Association and she is locally active and running for office, so she does not want to piss off too much of her long time neighbors.

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09/03/09 11:37am

Not seeing so many signs of real-estate activity in Houston lately? Swamplot’s Montrose correspondent says that might be because the Houston Association of Realtors has been telling its members that city officials have been handing out fines to agents who’ve placed their signs in the public right-of-way:

. . . the word is out and there are very few signs out on major streets on sundays. its really odd— the name brand real estate companies have been cracking down on their agents. When you do see a misplaced sign, its usually a listing that has been on the market for a fairly long time or there is an “off brand” real estate company. . . .

The response has been to put up generic open house signs for cover. Makes it harder to identify the perpetrator.

How long has this been going on?

I started seeing sign changes in the last couple of weeks. There was a trend toward people using open house signs pre-printed with their name. That has stopped. For awhile I thought no one was doing open houses because it was just too hot. . . . . As the photos show, the for sale signs are moving off city property too.

And where are those signs going?

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08/20/09 4:34pm

A small local flurry on Twitter, after abc13 reporter Miya Shay spots one of these and posts a photo:

Anyone know anything about the “Keep Houston Ugly” stickers popping up around town?

They’ve been around for a while, haven’t they? You can buy one yourself — a different version — online. Find a place to stick it, and you can push the meme further!

Nobody notices all those tiny cracks on a windshield either, until somebody does, and somebody else does, and pretty soon cracks are showing up everywhere.

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