- 5017 Wayne St. [HAR]
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Tag: Real Estate Marketing
No, the lawn-parked Chevrolet Corvette in the sepia-filtered listing pic at the top of this post isn’t the result of a clumsy home-staging effort — it’s the prize that comes with your Woodforest Estates homebuying Happy Meal. Simply purchase this 2,488-sq.-ft. yellow-brick 2-story for the low low price of $138,500 (marked down from $142,500 earlier this month) and you’ll find this “awesome” Corvette in unidentified condition absolutely free in the box! Er, garage. Useful for shuttling family members, one at a time, to and from the home’s 7 bedrooms.
If this kind of Chevy-chasing carrot throw-in sounds vaguely familiar, that’s because it is: A similar deal for a Corvette Stingray with brick suburban home combo in Richmond at more than 3 times the price (pictured at left) was featured on Swamplot last month — and is still available. (No, it’s not the same car; that one was an older model convertible, though it appears to be a similar color.)
Buy 7-Bedroom, Get 2-Seater Free!
Houstonia’s John Nova Lomax, incessant chronicler of things-far-gone in the city, has put together a handy guide to the boundaries of a dozen-and-a-half retired Houston placenames, though a number of them (Astrodomain and Freedman’s Town, for example) aren’t so distant from regular use. But if you always wanted to know the way to Frenchtown, Chaneyville, or El Alacran — or the distance between Catfish Reef and Pearl Harbor — here’s your go-to map.
- Catfish Reef, Happy Hollow, and Vinegar Hill [Houstonia]
Map: John Nova Lomax
Local Extinctions
- 2110 Chesswood Cir. [HAR]
COMMENT OF THE DAY: HOUSTON’S MAIN STREETS OF DISTRACTION 
“The fact that its not facing the freeway is progress. For too long, Houston has used its freeways as a super fast main street.
One of the reasons why the traffic is so bad in this area is that people gawk at the purdee buildins facing the freeway in addition to the excessive on/off ramps within a 2 mile stretch.” [DNAguy, commenting on This 21-Story Office Tower Is Headed for the West Loop’s East Side] Illustration: Lulu
- 1135 Louise St. [HAR]
- 315 Embry St. [HAR]
You know the old joke about suburban developments: That they’re typically named after the natural features that they replace. But in proudly announcing the name it has chosen for the new 692-acre residential development the company is planning near the yet-to-be-built northern segment of the Grand Parkway between I-45 and U.S. 59, Toll Brothers may have made that cliché seem quaint. According to the publicly traded homebuilder, which is working with Cernus Development on the project, the top selling point for this new community is its proximity to the new corporate campus ExxonMobil is building just 6 miles to the west. Northwoods will have room for 1,000 homes built by Toll Brothers and other builders, along with “resort-style amenities that take advantage of the mature trees and topography,” including trails, parks, lakes, and a recreation center.
It’ll also have the same name as a 62-home subdivision in the Little Rock suburb of Mayflower, Arkansas, where an ExxonMobil pipeline accident last March resulted in the release of 210,000 gallons of diluted bitumen from the tar sands in Alberta, Canada, onto the streets and back yards of the middle-class neighborhood.
Northwoods, Your Name Is Leaking
COMMENT OF THE DAY: WHEN BUILDERS RESPOND TO THE SQUARE-FOOTAGE PRICING INCENTIVE 
“. . . It is a shame that square footage is such a driver on sales in Houston. Everyone I know who lives in 3000+ sq ft only uses about 1500 of it at any one time and the rest is overkill. And then they complain about not having any green space on their property.” [Old School, commenting on Brand New and by the Bike Trail on a Heights Corner] Illustration: Lulu
“Interesting to see,” writes a regular Swamplot reader, “what appears to be two identical models of house built a couple years apart and a couple miles apart for sale at the same time.” Though the the 3-story, 5-sided brick design they share is distinctive, there are a few differences between the models — most obviously the fact that one is listed for almost twice the price of the other. Over in Norhill, 935 Algregg St. (pictured at top) was built in 2001 on a 5,000-sq.-ft. lot. It’s listed for sale for $585,000. Two years later in Cottage Grove, 5018 Darling St. was built a 2,796-sq.-ft. lot. It’s now asking $300,000. But there appear to be some differences in the interiors as well.
Here are views of the living room and kitchen of the Norhill model:
Which One of These Is Not Like the Other?
From the caps-lock, asterisk-punctuated copy for 402 Mignon St., listed since mid-December for $550K: “LARGE DESIRABLE CORNER LOT IN MEMORIAL BEND*NEW LARGE HOMES THROUGHOUT THE NEIGHBORHOOD*AN AMAZING LOCATION AND GREAT SPRING BRANCH SCHOOLS*PROPERTY SELLING FOR LOT VALUE ONLY*APPOINTMENT REQUIRED TO WALK THE PROPERTY*”
The 1956 flat-roofed building with redwood siding and terrazzo floors was designed by architect Harold Oberg and converted into an actual residence after sales in the neighborhood were completed.
- 402 Mignon Ln. [HAR]
- 402 Mignon [Memorial Bend Architecture]
- Previously on Swamplot:Â Why Is the Agent Telling Me This House Is Only Worth ‘Lot’ Value?
Filet Mignon, Please
Hey, it worked for the River Oaks Cleaners and CityCentre! The latest, perhaps only half-unwitting entry into the ongoing Houston name-sprawl competition is “Heights at Park Row,” an apartment complex announced yesterday by an Atlanta developer but apparently already under construction in advance of an announced October opening date. The 342-unit rental compound, a mere 14 freeway miles west of the similarly named Houston neighborhood not known (yet) for its apartments, will hang back a tad from the southern freeway exposure of Wolff Companies’ this-and-that-use Central Park development, wedged ’twixt I-10 and a planned the recent extension of the Terry Hershey Park Bike Trail.
Central Park will, in fact, be entirely central to its own location, along Houston’s central concrete ribbon but only a little east of Hwy. 6:
Name Creep
For the low, low price of $445,900, the seller of this Corvette Stingray convertible will throw in the 4-bedroom brick crashpad in Richmond pictured above — absolutely free. “Have you always wanted an estate home and convertible sports car? Well here is your chance to have BOTH,” reads the real estate listing for the brick-wrapped domicile on an almost-2-acre lot in the Richmond bedroom community of Plantation Meadows. “Buy the home and get the Corvette Stingray Convertible included. Your kids will love the spiral staircase leading up to a loft that can easily be their playroom.” Sadly, that part of the listing arises from the not-so-mobile living room. At least it provides sufficient space to house extra family members who won’t be able to fit into the 2-seater.
Would You Buy a Used Car from This House?
In the fine tradition of the Houston. It’s Worth It. campaign, here’s another well-disguised civic marketing effort meant to drum up a certain Bayou City pride of place. And, uh, by the way — it comes to us from Austin. There, designer and illustrator Kammi Russel has put together a helpful, mostly typographical infographic spelling out a few of the many reasons not to move to her adopted hometown.
“Austin Sucks. Please Don’t Move Here. These are some reasons why,” it reads at the top. Among the dire warnings of the Texas capital’s failings conveyed therein: “No major league sports,” and “People talk about kale all the time.” Plus this gem: “Good luck finding a boyfriend. This is the adult never-never land. Men stay children until their late 30s. Then they date one of the 158 people who moved here today. I hope your dog is rescued . . . because you will be alone.”
Helpfully for hapless Houston boosters, it concludes with this observation: “Dallas and Houston are amazing . . . you should move there.”
Austin. It’s Not Worth It.
