BECAUSE WHERE THERE’S SMOKING, THERE COULD BE FIRE In the aftermath of a West Houston grass fire that scorched 1500 acres of George Bush Park, Mayor Parker and some city council members are considering instituting a temporary smoking ban at all city parks for as long as the drought lasts. This week city council gave its blessing to a ban Parker instituted earlier on open-flame barbecuing and grilling in city parks. A burn ban in county parks — which includes smoking — has been in effect since April. [Houston Chronicle; park fire]
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Hazards
COMMENT OF THE DAY: ENTERTAINMENT VALUE “I hope the driver pays every penny of the damages, minus comedy royalties.” [Sid, commenting on Stuck in Kirby Traffic Again, Not Going Anywhere]
THE 5 PLACES IN HOUSTON WHERE YOU’RE MOST LIKELY TO RUN INTO PEDESTRIANS The intersections of Milam and Dallas, Milam and Prairie, and San Jacinto and Congress St. Downtown; Westheimer and McCue near the Galleria; and Bellaire and Corporate Dr. just inside Beltway 8 in Asiatown rank as the top locations for auto-pedestrian accidents, according to a Chronicle review of city records. A grand total of 2,204 collisions involving cars and people traveling on foot have taken place in Houston since 2008, resulting in a total of 174 pedestrian deaths. The deaths were concentrated differently, “along the U.S. Highway 59 corridor near West Park and along Interstate 45 North and I-10 East,” with 43 percent of them taking place on freeways or major highways. [Houston Chronicle]
STUCK IN MCDONALD’S 
A second family is suing a second area franchisee over playground injuries caused by a metal fastener at a McDonald’s PlayPlace. Last weekend 2-1/2-year-old Alexis Durant caught and gashed her lip on this exposed bolt in a plastic slide in the I-45 feeder road McDonald’s at Pine Dr. in Dickinson, claims attorney Jason Gibson. Last year, another Gibson client sued the owners of the McDonald’s on Uvalde Rd. just south of Woodforest Blvd. after claiming their 6-year-old son cut his head on a screw sticking into a plastic slide tunnel. McDonald’s USA declined to comment on the lawsuits, but issued a statement saying “The safety of our youngest customers is our top priority.” [Click2Houston] Photo: Click2Houston
COMMENT OF THE DAY: THE VALUE OF A NEW CHAIN STORE, IN SMALL BILLS “But don’t yall think having a Kohls nearby is well worth the price of a few ducks?” [Joe, commenting on Comment of the Day: Mystery Neighbor for the Meyer Park Walmart?]
COMMENT OF THE DAY: A BRIEF GUIDE TO MEYER PARK SHOPPING CENTER WATERFOWL “I would bet a dollar to a donut that these are domesticated Muscovy Ducks. Muscovy Ducks are non-migratory and are frequently bought to stock artificial ponds (they are not native to Texas). They are not very agile and could easily get run over by an inattentive driver. The only other duck that might be in Texas in July is a black bellied whistling duck. Black bellied whistling ducks are far more agile than a muscovy. Unless they get fed constantly (like the ones in Hermann Park), they will keep a good distance from humans. My guess is that the Muscovy ducks are waddling out into the parking lot to forage through all the garbage the Walmart customers leave in the parking lot. There is little anyone can do to stop them as they can get up in the air enough to get over any kind of barrier that could be put up between the lot and the pond. A nice duck crossing sign might be all that can be done.” [Old school, commenting on Comment of the Day: The Meyer Park Shopping Center’s Sitting Ducks]
Thank you, readers, for all the pix you’ve been sending of the ongoing strip show on Lower Westheimer just east of Montrose. Why are the outside walls now gone from the former Felix Mexican Restaurant? Termites ate ’em — or at least polished off enough lard-laden cellulose to require the entire exterior wood structure to be rebuilt. And really, how could the new walls going up for Austin sushi import Uchi — which will reportedly have “many of the same exterior features” as its Tex-Mex predecessor — taste any better?
“What’s that photo — a coffin?” Ladies and gentlemen, if you’ve got a casket problem in your neighborhood, you know now that reporting it to Swamplot will get you results. Yes, just minutes after Swamplot posted photos of the mysterious burial chamber that a reader found tanning itself on the grounds of the College Memorial Park Cemetery on West Dallas St., intrepid KHOU 11 News reporter Courtney Zubowski was live on the scene, ready to investigate. Of course, if you’re with a TV news team it certainly helps to have someone else — with maybe some eye protection — on hand to do any heavy, uh, coffin prying that might be necessary. (That’s KHOU photographer Gregg Ramirez hard on the case in Zubowski’s photo, above). You know, just in case something pops up unexpectedly.
As promised, Swamplot’s original tipster sends in photos of the freelance coffin first spotted last night at the College Memorial Park Cemetery on West Dallas St. in North Montrose, a couple blocks northeast of the River Oaks Shopping Center. It’s likely been some time since this cemetery has seen a new burial. And yet — hello there! These photos are from this morning:
GETTING THE PURPLE FROM GREENS 
“He developed a purple dot right between the eyes, and within 2 hours it spread over his face and his abdominal parts and within 6 hours he was completely purple.” — Matthew Finn IV, telling reporter Sally MacDonald what happened after his father got a small cut on his leg while fishing in a freshwater tributary of Greens Bayou. The elder Finn died Monday, 11 days after the incident. His family blames an aggressive bacteria — which his doctors have been so far unable to identify — for the death. [MyFox Houston] Photo: MyFox Houston
Texas Watchdog crunched 2009 car-crash data from TXDOT to find the parts of town where wrecks were concentrated. The heatmap above resulted from plotting location information from almost 100,000 Harris County incidents, most of which included exact coordinates. The winners? Two separate sections of Downtown and the intersection of FM 1960 and Hwy. 59 north, near Deerbrook Mall. (One of those Downtown hotspots, centered on Metro’s Main St. headquarters, includes the Pierce Elevated.) Also noteworthy spots for wreckage buffs: 2 sections of the Southwest Freeway — one at the West Loop and the other at Hillcroft.
Downtown also topped Texas Watchdog’s separate breakdowns for accidents involving road rage and collisions involving cellphones. But second- and third-place winners in these categories produced more local champions: Westheimer at Hillcroft, the Galleria area, and 59 at Kirby all ranked highly as sites for road-rage incidents. For cellphone-related accidents, the top areas were Montrose, an area just south of the Galleria and southwest of the 610-59 interchange; and the route from the Johnson Space Center to I-45. The northeastern corner of the 610 Loop at Liberty Rd. won the fatality division outright.
Map showing wreck concentrations: Jennifer Peebles/Texas Watchdog
A view of the cleanup after yesterday’s early-morning fire on Dickson St. west of Patterson in Magnolia Grove, to the north of the High School for Law Enforcement and Criminal Justice. A single structure in a row of 31-year-old townhouses burned after what neighbors say was a large explosion.
- Firefighters: Body found in rubble of charred Houston townhome [KHOU]
- Man’s body found in Houston townhouse gutted in fire [Houston Chronicle]
- Body Found After 2-Alarm Fire [MyFox Houston]
Photo: Swamplot inbox
Houston ranks 5th — below Long Island, Miami, Virginia Beach, New Orleans, and Tampa — in potential property damage from storm surges, according to an annual report from Corelogic. The company figures the resulting storm surge from a Category 5 Hurricane here would likely produce $20 billion in property loss — well behind Long Island’s $99 billion score. Can’t this city do a little better? We’ve got the high-hurricane-risk and low-lying-properties parts down cold. If we can just boost the property values a bit in those areas, we’ll be rolling with the high-stakes big boys next time.
The top at-risk area Zip Codes, according to the company’s report: 77573, 77554, 77059, 77571, 77062, 77566, 77586, 77539, 77546, and 77521. Locally, League City leads the way!
- 2011 Storm Surge Report [CoreLogic]
Image: Corelogic
Following up on this shocking reader-submitted photo of a TxDOT electronic sign spotted Friday morning from the northbound Gulf Freeway near the Galveston Causeway, a local investigative news team springs into action: “At last check, FOX 26 News was not able to locate any zombies on the mainland.” Keep tuned for updates.
- Hacked Sign in Galveston Reads ‘Zombies on Mainland’ [MyFox Houston, via Hair Balls]
Photo: Fox26 Viewer Amy
