Inspired by the photo tour of sidewalk-blocking utility poles along Harrisburg Blvd. featured earlier this week on Swamplot, a reader wonders if anyone might pay similar attention to the poles left lining the west side of Yale St. in front of the San Jacinto Stone property south of I-10 after the street was widened (and a row of street trees removed) to accommodate a new left-turn lane at Koehler St. for the coming Walmart:
That new helpful “what to do if a crazed gunman starts shooting up your workplace” video posted last week by Houston’s Office of Public Safety and Homeland Security features the city’s new Washington Ave Permitting Center in a starring role, along with a cast of cleaned-up would-be plan checkers and health officials — and a bald, cold-blooded shooter wearing dark glasses and toting a menacing backpack. The gunman starts by offing a security guard and a bystander at the lobby elevators behind the receptionist’s desk, then works his way into various city departments. The video was completed 2 weeks before the recent well-publicized attack on theatergoers in Aurora, Colorado, where 12 people were killed and 58 injured. DHS’s advice for permit officers or anyone stuck in an office that finds itself suddenly transformed into a scene out of an action movie: Run. If you can’t run, hide. And if you can’t hide, fight. Here’s the scene:
OLD DEAD PEOPLE BLOCKING PROGRESS OF GRAND PARKWAY 
Texas’s department of transportation is requesting permission to remove 4 bone fragments found buried in the Katy Prairie — in the path of what will eventually be the largest-circumference ring road ever constructed around a U.S. city. The bones, believed to represent the remains of several people, are at least 2,000 years old, which would make them older than any human body parts previously discovered in the Harris County area. They were unearthed by construction workers. As a result, construction of a portion of Segment E of the Grand Parkway, which will connect I-10 to U.S. Hwy. 290 through acres of uninhabited grasslands, has been halted. TxDOT’s application asks for “expedited removal” of the remains so that work can continue. [abc13; previously on Swamplot] Photo: Deeya Maple
A reader who works in Downtown sorta-mall Houston Pavilions has decided that a mysterious problem with broken windows in the complex’s 11-story office building is “becoming a situation.” A notice sent out to workers in NRG Tower recently, according to the reader’s report, declares that they are no longer allowed to exit the building from the first floor onto Polk St. The concern? That someone might get hit by falling glass. The reader explains: “The part of the building that faces inside the pavilion has an overhang on the second floor so we can walk into the building. The Polk street side has no such overhang.”
After waging a year-long “all out war” against this abandoned house near the corner of Prospect and Live Oak in Riverside Terrace, a Swamplot reader declares “I feel like I won.” How? “The house went up for sale this past week, exactly two weeks after a yellow ‘Dangerous Building’ violation was nailed to the tree out front by the city (following one of several of my complaints to the city’s Neighborhood Protection office — previous complaints generated violations notices for weeds and trash).” The listing for 2536 Prospect features photos of the home’s foreboding exterior with clear warnings from the listing agent: “Dangerous Building — No access!” and “Do NOT Enter!” This hoped-to-be-vacant lot could soon house your dream home! Once it’s bought and the house gets torn down, that is.
COMMENT OF THE DAY: CAREFREE HOMESTEADING IN HOUSTON “Living in a teardown is the best way to own a residence homestead. Cracked slab? Let it widen. Brickwork splits open and doors stick? Apply caulk, sand the doors. Roof needs replacement? Paint over the water stains on the ceiling and stick some buckets in the attic to catch the drip. Black mold? Spray a solution of bleach and water on it. Buy some air freshener. Don’t like the off-white color of the walls? Paint it neon pink with glitter, if that’s what suits you. Nobody cares. You live in a teardown!” [TheNiche, commenting on Crazy for the Inner Loop]
COMMENT OF THE DAY: OH, AND WATCH OUT FOR THOSE AREAS NEAR THE SHIP CHANNEL TOO “If you are looking inside the loop at places like Eastwood or just outside the loop at places like Oak Ridge and Westbury, be careful that your house is at least 1000 feet from any highways. Living within 1000 feet of a major highway can expose your children to serious air quality issues in addition to what we already have to endure in Houston. Also, make sure that you get the house tested for lead paint and be ready to have some cash on hand to do some work to remediate any lead paint on the interior and any lead paint that is coming off on the exterior. I always thought that I was being overly cautious when I had my house remediated before moving in. But one day I had my then 4 month old baby on the changing table and watched as he scratched the paint on the wall with his finger and then put his finger in his mouth . . .” [Old School, commenting on Crazy for the Inner Loop]
How well does a store built of structural glass hold up under gunfire? Probably better than your typical plate-glass storefront — though the repair costs are likely to be higher. A reader sends Swamplot this photo showing the smaller of 2 glass panels damaged by bullets earlier this week at the brand-new Apple Store in Houston’s Highland Village Shopping Center. Between the hours of 4:40 and 5:40 Monday morning someone in a vehicle speeding down Westheimer shot at 5 businesses, including 2 gas stations and the Cantoni furniture showroom past Gessner. No one was injured. Apple Store customers were routed to the building’s rear entrance after it opened for business, according to Click2Houston reporter Courtney Zavala.
Views of the damage from the outside, from Monday’s TV report:
COMMENT OF THE DAY: BEWARE ALSO THE KEG PARTY AT THE HARRINGTONS’ HOUSE ON SATURDAY “Loved the article, or should I say press release, in the Kingwood Observer about the river beach party hangout for teens. It should really help build awareness of, and traffic to, the spot. Great marketing effort!” [PaulP, commenting on Headlines: Fire Station Rehab; Hermann Park Apartment Building’s Loose Python]
A 4-year-old child got her foot stuck in the open, unmarked 3-inch gap between the rotating floor and stationary wall at the Spindletop Restaurant atop the Hyatt Regency Hotel Downtown, according to a lawsuit filed by her parents earlier this week. The incident, which took place last October, resulted in several deep lacerations and “likely permanent disfigurement” of the child’s foot, according to the complaint. Her parents were able to pull the girl’s foot out of the gap and trapped shoe after a minute, but only seconds before the floor rotated far enough to push her in front of a pole supporting a handrail along the window.
SMELT ON THE BANKS OF THE HOUSTON SHIP CHANNEL 
Included in USA Today‘s national list of “ghost factories” — forgotten lead smelting sites that have left behind toxic particles in the nearby soil — is the Lead Products Co. site at 709 N. Velasco St., just south of the Ship Channel a mile and a half east of Downtown. The TCEQ tells the newspaper that the site was a secondary lead smelter until 1968: “Contamination at the site is being addressed under a voluntary cleanup program and has focused on the disposal of lead battery casings at the site and on the adjoining KQXT transmitter property, the state said. Cleanup actions have included construction and placement of an earthen cap. Groundwater contamination also has been investigated, the state said.” Helpfully, Lead Products Co. has a “ghost” website to go along with its “ghost” factory. [USA Today] Photo of adjacent Cary St. play area: Lead Products Co.
A SIDEWALK HAZARD’S SOCIAL MEDIA STRATEGY 
A coverless manhole just west of Shepherd on 34th St. in Garden Oaks has taken to Twitter to broadcast its plight. “I am a gaping hole in the city’s underbelly,” declares Gringo Trap 34, between drooling appreciations of photos of attractive manhole covers posted on other Twitter streams. By the hole’s third-ever tweet, yesterday, it had snared a response from Mayor Parker, who commiserated over problems caused by copper thieves. (“Like roaches, they mess up more than they take,” quipped the mayor.) Shout-outs to various reporters followed. But as of Friday afternoon, the square hole under the constable sign is still uncovered, and Gringo Trap 34 has posted its latest “glamor shot.” “I may be pretty,” reads the latest report, “but that doesn’t mean I won’t tear your ACL.” [Twitter] Update, 9:13 pm: The Gringo Trap 34 account appears to have been suspended, but its tweets live on in this Chronicle story. Photo: Gringo Trap 34
COMMENT OF THE DAY: BIG DEMOLITION NEAR THE SCHOOL OF PUBLIC HEALTH “Just make sure you are upwind of the implosion. The dust cloud is full of nasties like respirable Silica and Aspergillus.” [Rocco, commenting on M.D. Anderson Tower Will Go Out with a Bang]
If you don’t live close to one of the locations marked with a red ‘X’ in the map above, you shouldn’t feel left out: There have been more than 3,900 documented instances of leaking underground fuel-storage tanks in Harris County, each of which poses “a risk to the nation and County’s drinking water,” according to filings in a new lawsuit. The locations on the map show only 13 of the 34 such leaky tanks belonging to telecom giant AT&T — they’re the ones the company admits have been polluting groundwater “with gasoline and hazardous substances . . . known to cause harm and adverse health effects.” The Harris County Attorney’s office filed suit against the telecom giant for neglecting its leaky-fuel-tank problem yesterday, citing a settlement in a similar case against the same company in California a few years back that netted a $25 million settlement.
MY SPIDEY SENSE SAYS LOOK OUT FOR DRIVE-THRUS IN ISSUE 3 
“They don’t get a ton of super-heroics or super-villainy down there, as far as we know. . . . As every comic book reading Houstonian on the Internet has pointed out, Houston doesn’t have as many skyscrapers as New York, so webslinging around is going to be a different experience. Kaine is going to deal with it in an amazing, unheard of way on occasion: by issue two, he’ll actually drive a car. He might have to hop on a bus, stick to the side of a truck—the possibilities are limitless. . . . It’s also really humid there. Sweating will be an issue. Grackles are a problem. Houston will offer some challenges, but it’s not like Godzilla lives there.” — Scarlet Spider writer Chris Yost, on setting the new comic featuring Spider-Man Peter Parker’s clone, Kaine, in Houston. [Marvel Comic News, via Hair Balls] Drawing: Marvel Comics
