- 5506 Verdome Ln. [HAR]
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Tag: Real Estate Marketing
Comedian Trent Gillaspie began his internet cartographic ventures by assembling an annotated map of his then-hometown of Denver, which he posted online hoping to highlight the humor in some of his gentrification-comedy routines with what he hoped would be considered outrageous labels for every neighborhood. “Some are judgmental, some are humorous, and all of them have a little bit of truth,” he explained to Business Insider earlier this year. “As long as you offend everyone you possibly can, it ends up making it OK.” Gillaspie then tried to open up his method to other cities — asking other comedians (and would-be comedians) to put together similar surveys of their own cities. A total of 47 labeled maps of various cities currently comprise the Judgmental Maps website, with varying levels of humor and “light racism,” as Business Insider’s Karyne Levy politely puts it.
The latest effort, submitted to Gillaspie’s website and tagged by its author, identified only as jr.ewing.78, targets Houston. We’ve sliced the map into thirds, for easier reading, below:
Judgmental Maps
Developers of a 7-townhome development on Wrightwood St. just east of Houston Ave. in Woodland Heights paid a $300,000 settlement to the city last year for clear-cutting about an acre of neighboring Woodland Park. Neighbors claimed the extensive cutting and uprooting was done expressly to give future residents of the townhomes a better view, but one of the developers, Bill Workman, went on a hardhat-in-hand apology tour trying to explain that the brush-and-tree-and-grass removal spree was only the result of a communication error with a subcontractor. Now, more than a year after the land-grading-gone-awry incident, the website and marketing materials for the 2 four-story townhomes currently available in the development have been adjusted a bit — to highlight their expansive views of Woodland Park.
How We Got Woodland Park Views
COURTLANDT MANOR SITE PHOTOGRAPHER: GOOGLE PLUS ATE YOUR ‘G’ 
The reader who sent in pics that Swamplot posted yesterday showing a banner announcing the new 14-townhome Courtlandt Manor development at 411 Lovett Blvd. — where developer Croix Custom Homes had a 1906 mansion in fine condition torn down earlier this year — writes in to apologize and explain why they inadvertently made it look like the developer’s sign had a prominent typo. Having examined the originals and discussed the issue with one of the firms marketing the project, Swamplot can now confirm that Courtlandt Manor is indeed “pre-selling,” not “pre-sellin” units for $875K and up, and that the actual sign spells this out accurately. “I feel really bad about this,” writes the photographer, who didn’t notice anything wrong with the photo until it was posted. “My phone automatically uploads all the photos I take to Google+ for backup. When it sees several images taken side by side, it ‘auto-enhances’ them into a panorama.” That’s more of an explanation for a missing letter than Croix had provided publicly for the site’s now-missing mansion, but the spelling-oblivious auto-panorama mechanism in Google+, apparently, is a little more complicated. Original, unstitched photo of sign at Lovett Blvd. and Taft: Swamplot inbox
- 4806 Palm St. [HAR]
HOUSTON IS HOT AND STICKY 
He’s getting ready to skip town, but writer Aboubacar Ndiaye did take the time to sit down at a coffee shop, swat away a few mosquitoes, and compose a maybe-not-quite-goodbye note to this city of accessible treasures: “The stickiness of Houston, living in the city for longer than planned, is borne out of this ease. Unlike New York or D.C. or San Francisco, Houston is not a layover city, a place to play out one’s youth and eventually settle into more comfortable circumstances. People who are here came for college or for jobs or to escape their small towns. They came to Houston to stay. Some of the young who grew up here grumble about moving to Austin, our popular sibling with its great music and coolness oozing out of its hippie streets, or to some other supposedly better city. Some of them left, to try their lucks in New York and Los Angeles and Chicago, but a lot came back, finding that while Houston does not have the cultural friction of those glittering cities, it has friends and money and time and hope. Those who come back, especially those with artistic inclinations, are embraced with open hearts and fatted tacos, because those of us who live here are aware of this inescapable truth: we’ve got it pretty good here, not great, but good. Instead of throwing ourselves face first into the whetstones of New York and L.A., a lot of us stay in Houston and make enough working at desk jobs or part-time to have time for artistic endeavors. Half the baristas and bartenders in Houston are artists or designers or musicians or writers, all of them living lives of mediocre content, rising at the most to local celebrity and local adoration. I sometimes, half-seriously, call Houston the Land of the Lotus Eaters, full of people who are continually high from a cocktail of affluence, affability, and comfort.” [The Billfold] Photo: Lori Greig [license]
Is it really worth it to empty out and polish your bomb shelter before you put your home on the market? Here’s some compelling evidence that it is. The property on Jackwood St. in Meyerland with the bomb-shelter-turned-subterranean man cave featured last August on Swamplot sold late the following month for $330,000. But the buyers wasted no time in working a profitable flip. Clearing out the La-Z-Boy, beer bottles, Wendy’s soda cups, bunny figurines, and other memorabilia from the underground domed space resulted in a cleaner listing and a much higher sale price last month: $503,700, marked down from a $515K asking price and locked up only a week or so after the April listing. That’s an explosive increase of $173,700, or more than 50 percent, over the purchase price, in less than your typical real estate half-life.
Of course, a few things affecting home prices may have been going in the outside world while the buyers were busily scrubbing the walls of their underground lair. Though they did make a few other changes to the house as well:
Lessons in Subterranean Staging
The mysterious promoter of a proposed trio of condo towers planned for undisclosed Houston locations has posted a second video talking up the vague project — and dissing other condo developers almost every step of the way. But unlike the original video, which aims to get prospective buyers to sign up for a mailing list by flashing images of condos in other cities and counting off extensive amenities like “a fleet of cars” and an indoor pet park, this new marketing effort is aimed at Realtors.
But did someone complain that promising to be able to build a 36-story highrise condo tower (or 3) in just 12 months sounds kinda unrealistic? Because the new video (embedded above)Â doubles down on that original claim, taking up a good quarter of the almost-5-minute monologue to explain how it’s totally doable (the “William’s Tower” and some unidentified building in China are offered as examples) — while pointing out how other Houston developers are taking so much longer with their projects. Students of marketing psychology (or of the psychology of marketers) will clearly want to preserve these videos — and the entire sales-before-construction effort — for future study.
- Realtor Participation [Elevated Living]
- Previously on Swamplot: Why Our Condo Towers Will Be So Much Better Than Everybody Else’s, and Why We’re Building 3 of Them
Video: Elevated Living
And the Other Guys Suck
COMMENT OF THE DAY: THEY ONLY CALL HOUSTON SPRAWLING BECAUSE THERE’S NOT A WHOLE LOT ELSE TO NOTICE — YET 
“Sorry, but Houston is no more sprawled than any other large metros. Look at aerial imagery of any of the big ones. Just because Atlanta, Dallas, Phoenix, LA, Chicago, etc. all have organized sprawl (zoning), doesn’t mean it’s any better than our non-zoned city sprawl. My point: sprawl is sprawl. I think cities like Houston get called out more when it comes to sprawl because of our lack of density in our core. As the inner loop core keeps densifying and gains a more wide spread identity, I think the sprawl argument against Houston will level out. . . .” [Ed, commenting on New ‘City with No Limits’ Slogan Will Be a Catchy, Fun Way To Promote Houston’s Legendary Sprawl] Illustration: Lulu
USPS, ON THE OTHER HAND, STILL LIKES ‘CLUTCH CITY’ 
The marketing-giddy corners of the internets may be buzzing today about the new “City with No Limits” branding campaign for Houston, but the U.S. Postal Service, it seems, is still stuck on an earlier nickname for the city. Reader Christopher Andrews tweets this screenshot showing the results that appear if you ask the USPS website to list all cities in the 77002 Zip Code. Strangely, “Clutch City” does not appear in the results for 77027 — the Zip Code of the former Houston Summit (now Lakewood Church), where the Houston Rockets played when they won the NBA championship in 1994 and 1995. The team didn’t move into the Toyota Center (in 77002) until 2003. [Twitter; try your own Zip Code search here] Screenshot: Christopher Andrews
The campaign may include some ingredients that remind us of its predecessors — the new video reintroducing Houston to potential visitors, for example, features a rockin’ sound track from a New York band and lots of images of happy people enjoying mostly Inner Loop attractions — but make no mistake: This new branding effort from the Greater Houston Partnership is fundamentally different from the mostly goofy and un-self-aware “Houston’s Hot,” “My Houston,” “Space City,” “Expect the Unexpected,” and “Houston Proud” campaigns from other organizations that preceded it. “Houston: The City with No Limits,” a concept and campaign unveiled yesterday, centers on a catchy slogan that rings true, because it highlights an essential part of the city’s ever-expanding built landscape and our unquenchable urge to spread ourselves out.
Facts on the Ground
$4 MILLION BUYS YOU THIS NORTH HOUSTON HOME AND 35 OTHERS KINDA LIKE IT 
This 2005-vintage 1,755-sq.-ft. home at 826 Bandon Ln. in Remington Ranch is just 2.8 percent of the residential wonderfulness you’ll get if you plunk down $4 million for a “package” of 36 homes in North Houston and Spring posted on MLS recently. That averages out to more than $110K each; The seller isn’t identified, but a company called Darland Partners, Ltd. owns a total of 24 properties (including this one) in Harris County; it paid $80,000 for the home pictured above in September of 2012. [HAR]
A reader who was sent a link to an earlier version of this long promotional video earlier today is eager to learn whether the Skye, Rise, and Edge — the 3 condo towers promised in it — are “real or vaporware.” And continues: “The promise of a 12 month delivery was what immediately stood out for me. Anyone in commercial construction will tell you that it is next to impossible unless it’s a vanity project in Dubai with no budget limitations.” Otherwise, the reader notes, “It felt like an SNL skit.”
- Elevated Living [Elevated Houston]
Video: Elevated Living
Elevated Living
A funny thing happens in Pooja Lodhia’s teevee report on the whole Tampico Heights dust-up. Yes, she gets Jim Badger, the creator of the Tampico Heights website, to come on camera, and she notes that his renaming project was meant as a sort-of joke. But more interesting: She finds a couple people who claim that the inside-the-Loop neighborhood west of I-45 and east of North Main St. should be called Northside.
They aren’t wrong.
Tampico Heights or Northside West?
