STILL NO WAY TO DECORATE WITH BACK ISSUES 
High Gloss, Houston’s entry in the online-only-but-still-magazine-style shelter mag craze, is folding after its third issue, published just last month. Founder, editor in chief, and former Houston high-school Spanish teacher Paloma Contreras calls shutting the publication “a difficult decision” in her announcement but notes only “a few lifestyle changes” within the magazine’s production team. [La Dolce Vita]
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THAT THEATER SPACE IN THE NEW HOUSTON BALLET BUILDING REALLY CHAPS MY ASS 
“I have been going to the theater for nearly four decades, which means at the very least that I’ve encountered every possible sort of venue. I’ve sprawled on dirty gymnasium floors while watching modern dance, perched in rickety folding chairs during community Shakespeare productions, and squeezed into wooden fold-downs from the 19th century for long Mahler symphonies.
I’ve languished in some of the oldest opera houses of Europe, where the seats are notoriously awful. I am sorry to say that even paint-chipped baseball bleachers are more comfortable than the seven rows of upholstered benches in the Margaret Alkek Williams Dance Lab at Houston Ballet’s new Center for Dance.
. . . The seats are exactly one foot deep, with “backrests” only one foot high. Place two rulers in an “L†shape on your backside and you’ll get the idea: no support at all. You might be thinking that I should just lose some weight, and I won’t argue the point. However, a female friend told me recently that I have ‘no ass,’ so I don’t think it’s merely a matter of my size. I looked around and noticed everyone else shifting as well. There were several large people in the audience, and they looked positively miserable.” — Theodore Bale, reviewing a pair of Woody Allen plays put on by the Back Porch Players. [Culturemap; previously on Swamplot] Photo: Michael Coppens [license]
THERE GOES YOUR POPULAR LOW-COST AIRPORT SHUTTLE SERVICE, HOUSTON Saturday, August 20th will be the last day for Metro bus 500, the half-hourly Airport Direct route from Downtown to IAH. Metro’s board voted to end the service last month because of low ridership and continuing revenue losses. A reduction in fare from $15 to $4.50 and the addition of several hotels to the route this past January increased the number of riders but “did not reach a level where the service could be sustained,” according to a Metro statement. The service had been in operation for 3 years. Committed Metro airport passengers will still be able to ride the 102 bus, which costs just $1.25 — but it’s not an express route. [more info; previously on Swamplot]
ST. AGNES DROPS SUIT St. Agnes Academy has officially ended its lawsuit meant to prevent a nightclub called El Corral — planned for the former Finger Furniture store in PlazAmericas — from receiving a liquor license. The suit was filed last Friday against the nightclub’s owners, the city of Houston, and the TABC. A spokesperson for the all-girls private school, which is building an athletic facility across Bellaire Blvd. from the former Sharpstown Mall, tells Swamplot “any future plans regarding the suit are to be determined,” but offered no further comments. [Previously on Swamplot]
RIG VOTE IN LEAGUE CITY 
League City’s city council voted last night to double the minimum distance oil and gas rigs must keep back from most buildings, including homes. The new requirement is 600 ft., though some residents of the Magnolia Creek subdivision — right next door to one of 2 proposed new drilling sites in the city — had hoped to get a 1000-ft. buffer approved. [abc13; more info; previously on Swamplot] Photo: abc13
EXTREMISTS WANT TO COME BACK TO HOUSTON 
The producers of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition are already looking to return to Houston for another frenetic rebuild — less than a year after volunteers here put up a brand new house (complete with upstairs fashion runway) for the Johnson family in South Union, and showed it off before a national audience. Know a family whose home is “making it difficult, or even impossible, to cope with challenges that face them”? The show’s casting director wants your nominations “for the deserving people and inspiring families that America can really root for.” [abc13; signup; previously on Swamplot] Photos: ABC
COMMENT OF THE DAY: WE’RE DROWNING IN GROCERY STORES HERE “I love [Trader Joe’s] but [the] last thing I want is another grocery store within a 2-3 mile radius of my home in Montrose. Kroger @ West Gray, Kroger @ Montrose, Fiesta @ Dunlavy, HEB @ Dunlavy, Whole Foods @ Kirby, Whole Foods @ W. Gray, Rice Epi @ Westheimer/Weslayan, Central Market @ Westheimer/Weslayan, Randalls @ Westheimer/Shepherd . . . did I miss anyone? Let’s put it somewhere were it is needed like in the Heights. I would gladly drive there to shop at TJs!” [MVB, commenting on A Trader Joe’s in the Alabama Theater?]
HERE COME THE PORK CHOPPERS 
After 4 hours of classroom training near Hobby Airport in “the first Professional Helicopter Hog Hunting Safety Course in the nation that is specific to hunters who would be hiring a helicopter service to hunt feral hogs,” reporter Sonia Smith goes out on her first aerial wild hog shoot, AR-15 in hand — near Knox City, with the same helicopter pilot who took Ted Nugent on a 30-plus pig run back in March. A new law effective September 1 allows sport hunters to rent helicopter gunner seats for hog or coyote kills, but the rush has already begun. Cedar Ridge Aviation’s Dustin Johnson tells her he’s scheduled 30 flights so far, “including one for a group of ATF agents from New York.” [Texas Monthly; course info; previously on Swamplot] Photo: Cedar Ridge Aviation
THE WHOLE POINT OF PLAYING HOUSE AS A KID “When I get emails from blog readers asking me how can they get their husband to ‘let’ them paint their brown paneling or the dining room table, I always repeat what that therapist told me all those years ago. My advice is simple. Ask your husband out to dinner. Tell him you want to discuss something important with him. Make sure he has a nice sized drink at dinner. Start out with a question. Ask him what our therapist asked: ‘what games did you play when you were little?’ Tell him what you played. Make sure you tell him how much you respect him and what he does for the family. Explain that you want the same respect. Tell him that you have studied magazines and décor for years and know exactly how you want your house to look like. Ask him to understand that it is your lifelong dream to have that beautiful house. Ask him if he can say the same? Ask him to trust your taste. Above all, don’t raise your voice and don’t argue. State your cause in a mature, reasonable tone. This isn’t a fight, you are merely opening up his eyes to who you really are and what you really want. Most likely your husband will see how serious you are and will be willing to give up his jewel toned walls, ceiling fans, and leather sectional.” — Joni Webb, writing in Antique Shops and Designers [Cote de Texas]
COMMENT OF THE DAY: REMEMBERING BENNIGAN’S “It gets me thinking. I don’t remember when the original Bennigans closed. I can’t say I remember ever missing Bennigans. While I admit I ate at Bennigans a few times, I don’t remember a thing about it. It was neither good or bad–a remarkably unmemorable experience. I’m not sure about the new ones. . . .” [Will, commenting on The Texas Bennigan’s Begin Again]
THE TOP-SECRET REAL ESTATE DEVELOPMENTS POSSIBLY COMING TO A LOCATION NEAR YOU So sorry, but we can’t tell you about Project Crawfish, Project Cabot, Project Computer Virus, Project Delta, Project Goldbeam, Project Race Car, or Project Texas H2O. They’re all hush-hush, you know. But Gil Staley of the Woodlands-area Economic Development Partnership says together they “represent 1,568 jobs and $335 million in capital investment” — the kinds of projects states and cities dig up tours, videos, and tax incentives for. Reporter Jennifer Dawson can, however, reveal the company behind the formerly mysterious Project 21, whose previously unidentified planners were snooping around Cedar Crossing in Baytown last year to see if the industrial park might work for an unspecified $200 million facility. Project 21 turned out to be a project of Mitsubishi Electric Power Products, but they ended up building the thing in Memphis instead. [Houston BizBlog; previously on Swamplot]
DIGGING OUT FROM HEAVEN ON EARTH 
Updated task list for the investor group that bought the dilapidated and long-vacant Heaven on Earth Plaza Hotel at 801 St. Joseph Pkwy. at Travis St. Downtown 3 years ago: 1) Pay off $4.2 million mortgage on property; 2) work way out of bankruptcy (declared just last week, to avoid foreclosure); 3) close on $22 million construction loan to redevelop the 31-story former Holiday Inn (and later Days Inn) into an “as economy class as possible” hotel. Meanwhile, New Era Hospitality — the group that bought the property in 2008 from a fund connected to the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi — recently spent around $30,000 to secure the building, after receiving a stream of municipal citations for “dangerous building parts, visual blight, unsecured entrances, and signs of urine and bodily fluids.” The project’s general contractor tells Purva Patel that plans to turn the gutted property into an “upscale” hotel have been scaled back. [Houston Chronicle; previously on Swamplot] Photo: arch-ive.org
OKAY, BUT WHAT IF THE DOGS START BEGGING? Panhandling within 8 ft. of an outdoor dining area at a Houston restaurant or cafe will now be a misdemeanor, after a unanimous vote by city council today. (Previously designated no-soliciting zones: within 8 ft. of ATMs, parking meters, bus stops, and gas pumps.) Separately, the folks behind Paws on Patios yesterday reported a measure of success in their ongoing campaign to relax city rules that prohibit restaurants and bars from allowing customers’ dogs in their outdoor areas: The mayor’s office has told them they’ll soon get a chance to review redrafted Health Dept. regulations covering the practice. [Houston Politics and Paws on Patios, via Eater Houston]
A TRADER JOE’S IN THE ALABAMA THEATER? 
3 months ago, Trader Joe’s announced plans to build 10 stores in Texas. But where? A little bird tells Nancy Sarnoff that the California-born grocer is exploring the possibility of taking the vacant Bookstop space in the former Alabama Theater on South Shepherd Dr. No official comment from Weingarten Realty or Trader Joe’s, but Sarnoff notes the theater space’s listed 14,000-or-so sq. ft. is right in the target range for a Trader Joe’s store. The space has been vacant for almost 2 years. [Prime Property; previously on Swamplot] Photo: Chris Adams
COMMENT OF THE DAY: THE CASE FOR BUILDING CRAP “i’m no developer, but being that this is off Yale (and not washington) across from a wal-mart it’s safe to assume they’re not going to be pulling in high-margin clients. there’s no point building a nice shopping center catered to the area if you can’t lock-in clients that can afford the rent. rent’s are already going to be well above average for houston. better to have a generic crappy strip center than a bankrupt high-end strip center. they know they’re building in the middle of a double-dipping economy in an area that certainly has high average incomes, but is still in flux none the less. better to build crap and establish a proven income stream with sensible margins before going overboard and losing money. as for the store selection, it’s certainly nothing i’d patronize but it’s an expected utilitarian lineup. we live in the internet age, what do you really expect, an amazon pick-up storefront? it’s easy to criticize, but it ain’t my money so i’m not going to call people out for doing sensible things with theirs. you can’t run a business and support employees livelihoods by taking risks for communities that may never support you in the first place.” [joel, commenting on Piggybacking on the Washington Heights Walmart: Stripalicious Yale St. Retail at Heights Marketplace]