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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Fig. Leaves: Miraculous Advanced LipoDissolve Works on Retail Locations Too!

Collage of Diagrams from fig. Medical Body Shaping Website Showing How Advanced LipoDissolve Is Supposed To Work

Swamplot’s many readers eager to return to Houston-area Fig. Medical Body Shaping clinics for continuing fat-reducing injections will be saddened to learn that the national chain has abruptly shut down and discontinued all operations. A note on the fig.com website indicates the company will likely be seeking bankruptcy protection.

There are three local Fig. clinics: in Sugar Land at 59 and Highway 6, next to Panera Bread; next to Jamba Juice at the Summit Plaza by Lakewood Church; and at the Portofino Shopping Center across I-45 from the Woodlands. (Yes, that’s the same Portofino Shopping Center that was home to the statue-genitalia controversy a few years back — which was ultimately solved with . . . a fig leaf.) All three Houston-area Fig. locations had been open only since April.

Okay, whose inside joke was it to locate all three fat-reduction clinics in shopping centers on feeder roads?

What happened to Fig. that would cause it to shut down so suddenly? (Reader caution: suggestive uh . . . medical detail below.)

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