COMMENT OF THE DAY: CALL IT MIXED PARKING 
“The true benefit of mixed-use developments is the opportunity to reduce the amount of parking provided. Certain program types work well with others. For example, an office worker is usually parked in their space between 8 and 5 while other uses, such as residential and retail, pick up before and after those hours. This means the same space can potentially serve multiple uses, reducing the amount of garages and lots. This is a big deal in Houston, where market parking demands for office require about the same square footage of parking as the office space itself.
Mixed-use development can be about convenience, but the true potential lies in the opportunity to reduce the amount of useless parking and increase density and thus walkability. Houston actually has a mixed-use parking code that allows for this reduction. Ultimately, one could argue that mixed-use developments are not just good for reducing costs for developers, but they are also good for the planet.” [Mixitup, commenting on Comment of the Day: Stuck With That Same Ol’ Mix of Uses] Illustration: Lulu
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LUCKY BURGER REPLACEMENT: DRIVE-THRU BANH MI FROM THE LES GIVRAL’S CREW? 
It looks like a new drive-thru Banh Mi spot from the folks behind the rapidly expanding Les Givral’s restaurant empire is hoping to take over the recently vacated Lucky Burger building at the corner of Richmond and Mandell St. in Montrose. That’s the strongly hinted story, at least, implicit in the new teaser Twitter account for the venture, called Oui BanhMi, affiliated with the Les Givral’s Kahve restaurant on Washington Ave (as well as the recently opened Oui Desserts at 3411 Kirby and the Banh Mieria food truck), which pinpoints itself at Lucky Burger’s old 1601 Richmond Ave address. Any more evidence of the plans? Well, there’s this blurred sheet of “brainstorm” notes posted to the Les Givrals Instagram account last month. [OuiBanhMi on Twitter, via Chic Chick Chic Eats; previously on Swamplot] Photo of Lucky Burger: Swamplot inbox
STREET POOPING, WIPING, AND PHOTOGRAPHING IS BACK IN THE WOODLAND HEIGHTS 
According to a Houston Chronicle report, a resident of Byrne St. reported to police earlier today an encounter with yet another act of public pooping in the 77009. And it appears to be the work of a familiar figure from that neighborhood: that of the defecating, toilet-paper-toting man commonly referred to as the, uh, “serial pooper” of Woodland Heights. Back in May, a surveillance camera posted in a tree had caught images (above right) of the sidewalk hijinx of a man who, residents say, had repeatedly been defecating in and around the yards and driveways of the 500 block of Byrne St. A 56-year-old man had confessed to the defecatory acts after he was later picked up on a related charge of public urination near the Fiesta Mart at Quitman and Fulton  — but was not charged with a crime at the time, because “the man had serious mental health issues,” Heather Alexander reports. There’s apparently a photo of the man’s most recent exploits as well; Harris County precinct 1 spokesperson J.C. Mosier tells Alexander “there’s a very good chance it is the same guy,” but is waiting to receive a copy of the photo before confirming. [Houston Chronicle] Photo: Click2Houston
THERE SHALL BE NO NET LOSS OF SUGAR ON GRAY ST. IN MIDTOWN 
Top Chef: Just Desserts contestant and $53,580 Kickstarter winner Rebecca Masson has finally announced the exact Midtown location of the Fluff Bake Bar storefront she’s been working on since late last year, on account of she just signed a lease last week: It’s set to go in place of the shuttered Sweet Lola Yogurt Bar, (pictured) which ended its reign at 304 Gray St. in Midtown last September. The spot is one of the city’s relatively small number of to-the-sidewalk retail spaces with actual apartments above. Downstairs, customers will be able to dig into Fluff’s Chocolate Stout Syllabub, risotto fritters with gingered blueberries, or chocolate beet cake with cream cheese ice cream — along with beer and wine — but give her another 3 or 4 months to build out the space before you come knocking, please. [Food Chronicles; previously on Swamplot] Photo: Bluebirds and Butterflies
COMMENT OF THE DAY: STUCK WITH THAT SAME OL’ MIX OF USES 
“I don’t get people’s desire to live in a Mixed Use development, I lived in one for a couple of years and it’s as useless as a sh*t flavored lollipop. You get tired of the couple of restaurants there within 2 weeks, the drycleaner is not as good as the one you’re used to and you end up driving there anyway, you get all the noise and the traffic to deal with without any real world benefit. It’s the true case of the ‘grass is greener on the other side.'” [commonsense, commenting on Studemont Grocers Supply Redevelopment To Feature Fast Food and Bank Drive-Thrus, Store Pods in Parking Lot Now, Apartments Later] Illustration: Lulu
CITY COUNCIL VOTES TO DRAIN HOUSTON’S DRAINAGE FUND 
City councilmembers voted 15 to 2 yesterday to pour out $31 million from the ReBuild Houston drainage fund Houston voters put into place in 2010 and use the money “to speed up projects and help resolve smaller neighborhood problems sought by their constituents,” according to Chronicle reporters Mike Morris and Kathryn Driessen. Separately, councilmembers approved an amendment to the measure that would help pay for a $1-million-per-district allocation that would let councilmembers themselves decide how to spend city funds in their own districts, by drawing $6 million from the city’s capital improvement funds. A portion of that money, Mayor Parker said, would likely end up coming from ReBuild Houston reserves — though there would be restrictions on how those funds could be used. The source of funds for the ReBuild Houston program is the monthly drainage fee paid to the city by property owners, which went into effect in 2011. Councilmember Stephen Costello, who championed the ReBuild Houston campaign and voted against yesterday’s measure, tells ABC13’s Miya Shay that passage of the amendment is “going to make my job a little harder as I’m talking to the community, about a lock box for Rebuild Houston.” Supporters of the changes claim they’ll help neighborhoods have a bigger say in what drainage and construction projects get funded. [Houston Chronicle ($); abc13; previously on Swamplot] Photo of drainage inlet installation near Westridge and Linkwood subdivisions: ReBuild Houston
NEW ‘CHICKEN RANCH’ OPENING ON NORTH MAIN NEAR SUNSET HEIGHTS WILL SERVE ACTUAL FRIED CHICKEN 
But will it be home to the Best Little Drumsticks in Texas? Josh Martinez, the chef behind the Modular food truck and (until recently) Goro & Gun downtown, and partner Paul Sedillo plan to open an actual fried chicken joint in a not-yet-disclosed location on North Main St., Alison Cook reports. And they’ll be naming it in honor of the establishment of uh, musical repute first brought to widespread public attention back in 1973 by a series of teevee reports by then-new Channel 13 reporter Marvin Zindler, and again later by a Broadway musical and a follow-on movie starring Dolly Parton, Burt Reynolds, and Dom DeLuise. (Not to mention, separately, a haw-along tune by ZZ Top.) But unlike its historical namesake in La Grange (pictured at right in its glory days), the Chicken Ranch “on the fringe” of Sunset Heights won’t be renting out hosted rooms by the hour — it’ll be frying up chickens by the order, though the birds will be available in either regular or “spicy Louisiana-style” versions. Sedillo tells Cook he plans to install a black velvet painting of Zindler in the restaurant when it opens this fall. [Food Chronicles] Photo: Fayette Heritage Museum and Archives via The Signal
COMMENT OF THE DAY: WHO’S SUPPOSED TO FIX YOUR WONKY SIDEWALK 
“When I was a Super Neighborhood President, I learned all about sidewalks. In general, they are the responsibility of the adjacent property owners — UNLESS they are adjacent to or on a heavily traveled route to a school. Then the City of Houston will build them as part of their Safe Sidewalk Program (SSP). They also have a deal where if PWE digs up a sidewalk or driveway curb cut for any reason, they will replace it — like juancarlos said. But that’s kind of a given. (If they didn’t, they’d be real douches).
That being the case, if Montrose residents are begging the City for better sidewalks, they’re probably barking up the wrong tree. I wonder if it would be better to get together with commercial and multifamily owners in the area, and lobby the Management District to do it. The Montrose District has funding, unlike the Civic Clubs and Super Neighborhoods, and they also have the project management skill to get this sort of thing done. And if I’m a business or apartment owner who pays an assessment, I want something in return; a new sidewalk for my customers would be nice.” [ZAW, commenting on Replacing a Texas City H-E-B with an H-E-B; Would You Like Taller Billboards?] Illustration: Lulu
COMMENT OF THE DAY: TOP RAMEN COVERAGE, BUT YOUR OTHER NOODLES LEAVE ME COLD 
“Another ramen story, Swamplot? Why so much attention on ramen while udon gets nothing?? Udon is part of Houston, too, you know.” [Memebag, commenting on Seattle Ramen House Samurai Noodle Coming to Cottage Grove Strip Center] Illustration: Lulu
DE-MAD-MEN-IZED DOWNTOWN EXXONMOBIL TOWER REMINDS ME OF MY DOCTOR’S OFFICE, COMPLAINS CHRON COLUMNIST Lisa Gray, already on record as a non-fan of Shorenstein Realty’s plans to remove all the distinctive sun-shading fins from the soon-to-be-former ExxonMobil Tower at 800 Bell St. downtown (and incorporate all the space they occupied into the floor plates), says the sleek new video (with only semi-robotic, live-action scalies!) put out by the San Francisco real estate company (embedded at right; click in bottom right corner to see it full-screen) reveals that the renovation plans for the building are “even worse than I thought.” What’s the problem with removing what’s left of the building’s Mad Men-era accoutrements, and sheathing the recaptured space with shiny glass? The video shows that Downtown architecture firm Ziegler Cooper’s resulting design will be “a dead ringer,” she claims, for the Memorial Hermann Medical Plaza tower at the northern tip of the Med Center at 6200 Fannin. That building was designed by the firm’s Uptown-ish rival, Kirksey Architecture. [Houston Chronicle; previously on Swamplot] Video: Transwestern
KA-BLOOEY! 
And Swamplot is outta here for the week. Please accept our best wishes for a great national birthday celebration on Friday, and a restful and pleasant holiday weekend. Got any pointers on the best fireworks-viewing spots? Let’s all meet back here on Monday to compare notes, and for more Houston real estate whosajiggery, mkay? Photo of Fourth of July fireworks in The Woodlands last year: Flickr user no.failsafe [license]
COMMENT OF THE DAY: GUIDELINES FOR BOVINE FLOOR DECOR 
“Apropos of nothing, is it normal to have a cow hide rug outside? I wouldn’t have one inside because they are gross, but it seems more egregious to have one outside. I am not sure why though, I mean the original owner of the hide was outside.” [OhMyPie; commenting on Townhome Complex Now Showing Off Amazing Views of Park Its Developers Were Fined for Clear-Cutting] Illustration: Lulu
COMMENT OF THE DAY: YOU JUST DON’T KNOW 
“The driver might have been rich. They might been entitled. They might have been drunk. They might not respect traffic laws at all or such sentiment may be situationally limited. They might have a small penis. They might have no patience. They might be narcissistic. They might be egotistical. They might be a dumb-ass. (I will add to this list of possibilities, they might have been distracted, they might have been very tired, or they might have been subject to the influence of prescription medication; and there are in fact many other possibilities, so many that it is nigh impossible to enumerate all of them.)
The construction manager might have abided by recent history and changed protocols; they might have judged their protocols to be adequate. Barricades might not have been erected at all, or properly, or in a manner that would be appropriate for traffic in that location.
What we know for sure is that any combination of these possibilities might have contributed to the accident. Although being drunk certainly increases the odds of having an accident, even drunk drivers are usually responsive to barricades; and yet, I’ve also known a fair number of people that even on their best of days are capable of jumping curbs or driving into buildings.
The fact is, we don’t know very much about what happened. We do not know what the driver did. We do not know what the driver deserves. Even if we were capable of rendering judgment over-the-wires with such limited information, it does not stand to reason that the driver will get what they deserve in the legal system.
This is one of those instances when the commentary on a news item is more tragic than the news item. It exposes the ease with which people spin a tale, assign guilt, and express faith in the powers that be to mete out a poorly-conceived notion of justice. It is an unfortunate tendency.” [TheNiche, commenting on Notorious Wet Concrete, the Scourge of Upper Kirby, Claims the Shiny Red Mustang of Victim No. 3] Illustration: Lulu
A FOILED BIT OF ART THIEVERY DOWNTOWN 
Two men in casual business attire attempted to walk out of a basement service door of the JPMorgan Chase Tower at 600 Travis St. after midnight last night with the beach-scene painting pictured at right, which had been hanging in one of the building’s common areas. Police recovered the painting from a stairwell near the Alonti Cafe, where the pair appeared to have dropped it after hearing sirens. Suspects were arrested as they walked casually along the sidewalk in front of the building, and charged with felony theft. [News92FM] Photo: KHOU
KATY GARAGE APARTMENT FLOOR COLLAPSE ENDS CELEBRATION, INJURES DOZENS OF GUESTS 
Dozens of people were sent to area hospitals after the floor of an upstairs garage apartment collapsed this afternoon during a private religious ceremony attended by more than 100 people. The structure — in the back yard of a home on Park Mill Dr. near Park Brush Ln. just west of Memorial Parkway Junior High School in Katy — is still standing, but photos (at right) show the walls slightly bowed in spots and its siding popped out around the perimeter of what was once the second floor. According to reports, the apartment floor bowed, then fell onto the garage below. Three persons were reported to be in critical condition. [KHOU; Houston Chronicle] Photo: KHOU
