06/09/10 2:36pm

And here we have perhaps the best-monitored fig tree on Tangley, west of Buffalo Speedway in West University. Practicing for the thorough investigation that is sure to follow, the reader who sent us the tip claims to have been “in the middle of a public street when I took the photo.” Fig poachers, you have been warned! Says our reader:

who knew these figs were so valuable they’re worth the sign, netting, security camera, and wiring installed to protect them?

Oh, but have you ever tasted a West U fig?

Late Update: The fig tree has been outed by several commenters. C’mon — fess up! You’re really a peach, aren’t you?

Photo: Swamplot inbox

05/28/10 12:34pm

MICHAEL B. SMUCK IS GOING TO JAIL Longtime Louisiana and Texas real-estate investor Michael B. Smuck pled guilty this week to one count of mail fraud in connection with the sale of the Briar Meadows Apartments on Dairy Ashford, just north of Briar Forest Dr. An investment company controlled by Smuck purchased the complex in 2004. Smuck sold the property in 2007, according to federal prosecutors, but didn’t tell his investors. Instead, he used the almost $3.5 million in proceeds to pay debts owed by other business entities he controlled: “Smuck continued to send documentation to investors in Briar Meadows in order to give the fictitious appearance that the investment property was still active. Pursuant to the plea agreement entered into by the parties, Smuck faces a term of imprisonment of 30 months and a $250,000.00 fine. In an effort to make the victims of this crime whole, the United States has secured from the defendant an agreement to pay a minimum of $3,299,480 in restitution to investors in both Briar Meadows and Yellowstone Ranch, which are apartment communities in Houston, TX.” [U.S. Attorney’s Office; background; previously on Swamplot]

05/25/10 5:16pm

D&W Lounge owner Keith Weyel told the Houston Press‘s John Nova Lomax last year he was “somewhat disappointed that the kids in the nearby new condos” hadn’t quite found their way yet to his bar just past the train tracks on Milby St., at the western edge of Eastwood. But Lomax doesn’t mind:

. . . to cater to the third shift at the coffee plant, the D&W Lounge opens at 7 AM. The interior is done up with pictures of Marilyn Monroe, statues of the Buddha, and a super-cool tin man hand-fashioned out of school cafeteria cans.

More evidence of the bar’s rough-and-tumble street cred: last month’s on-site fatal shooting.

CONTINUE READING THIS STORY

05/20/10 1:22pm

Just how big is the South Grand at Pecan Grove apartment complex in Richmond? Well, moving from one side of the complex to the other can cost you just south of $8 grand — and maybe a little hospitalization. Tentra Allen’s moving adventure last weekend began after she responded to a little Craigslist ad and signed a little contract with the moving company that showed up:

. . . Before unloading things, Andy said Allen had to pay the bill: $7,684. That included 35 units of shrink wrap for $2,800 and a “long walk” that cost $4,300.

Allen said Andy whipped out the contract, which said all previous verbal agreements were null and void and laid out a menagerie of outrageous charges in the fine print.

“If you don’t pay, we’re taking everything to Maine,” he threatened.

CONTINUE READING THIS STORY

05/19/10 12:53pm

Converted from an office building to apartments in 2004 by NBC Holdings’ Tracy Suttles and The Randall Davis Company, the Kirby Lofts at 917 Main Downtown went condo a little later. How did that ball get rolling? The federal government’s Financial Fraud Enforcement Task Force suggests one answer: a few “sham sales” from January to October 2006. Indictments charging Veronica Frazier, Robert Veazie, and Felton Greer with several counts of conspiracy and wire fraud were unsealed Friday.

Frazier, 42, of Pearland, allegedly recruited buyers with good credit in 2006 to act as straw borrowers and use false information to apply for home loans, according to the U.S. attorney’s office. She and other unnamed co-conspirators then allegedly used the loan proceeds for themselves and to pay kickbacks to the fake borrowers.

CONTINUE READING THIS STORY

05/18/10 12:36pm

“How much further will it fall?” Swamplot asked back in January, not long after the list price for Ken and Linda Lay’s 33rd-floor penthouse in the Huntingdon on Kirby Dr. was marked down the last time. And now we have a partial answer: All the way to $10.25 million — for now, at least. That’s almost a 14 percent cut from the last price, but just under 20 percent off the initial $12.8 million ya-gotta-try pricing Linda Lay started with.

And really, you want to be coming down in regular increments. What numbers come next?

CONTINUE READING THIS STORY

05/12/10 2:41pm

COMMENT OF THE DAY: THE REPORT FROM GREENSPOINT MALL “. . . A huge swath of it is basically closed (the part near Dillards)– storefronts with lots of signs letting you know they are available. There are still quite a few mall staples, as well as an unusual number of mom-and-pop operations. I was there today just after 1 pm. There were people around, including folks apparently from nearby offices doing some lunch shopping or eating in the food court. But the number of people seemed sparse. That said, it is a long haul to any other movie theater from there, and there are a lot of people who live and work in the area. And I’m fairly sure the mall is one of the safest places around–it has a large Harris County Sheriff/HPD station in the mall! The parking lot is full of police cars.” [RWB, commenting on Before the Movies Start: What’s Eating JCPenney at the Greenspoint Mall]

05/06/10 1:33pm

The daintily decorated Bayou Woods mansion owned by a Vincent Cabella — put up for sale last year for $4 million but reduced to $3.45 million by the time Swamplot featured it in March — has been discounted again. Now come up with just $2.45 million and the cozy little 5-6 bedroom, 5 1/2-bath retreat is yours!

How could you refuse an offer like this?

Of course, this isn’t just your run-of-the-mill elephant-statues-by-the-front-yard-fountain Memorial Dr. show-off-piece. According to the New York Daily News, it’s actually the hideaway mobster Vincent Palermo — aka Vinny Ocean — retired to after he testified against some of his former underlings in New Jersey’s DeCavalcante crime family and joined the federal witness protection program. (Cabella, crime reporter Greg B. Smith explained, was the former Mafia boss’s new Houston name.)

But he’s led an active retirement:

CONTINUE READING THIS STORY

05/06/10 8:31am

THE GREAT OTC HOOKER STEAK-OUT Out on the town and on the tail of some of them high-priced hookers shipped in from Vegas specially for this week’s Offshore Technology Conference, Caroline Gallay strikes gold diggers on Post Oak: “We had by far the best luck at Mo’s A Place for Steaks, where suddenly (around 10:30 p.m.) the almost all-male crowd was inundated with scantily clad young things taking cards and holding court. I saw some of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen, and I think I might start hanging with the hussies more often. The once-overs thrice-overs my friends and I got should have probably offended us, but I for one was flattered — even if they were internally reviewing price points. On Monday evening, the first time we trolled for tramps, I’m pretty sure we were even solicited. An older gentleman hovered and leered at our table until we finally spoke to him. Our tab? Close to $70. His face once he learned we were locals, and later that our parents and he shared friends? Priceless.” [CultureMap]

04/30/10 12:11pm

17907 Elk Valley Circle, Ponderosa Trails, Houston

Missed out on putting in a bid on that pinkish coke palace up in Ponderosa Trails that went up for auction in March? Of course you did, because it didn’t sell. So now the 5-bedroom, 8,024-sq.-ft. mansion at 17907 Elk Valley Circle will be back on the virtual auction block again this May 18th to 20th— starting at the same $471,250 minimum bid.

Alas, the 2.54-acre property will be available “for inspection” just once, for a couple of hours on May 12th — by special appointment only. There’s a “Waiver, Release & Indemnity Agreement” you’ll have to sign to participate. And no, the former owner won’t be available to answer your questions about maintenance — Daron Odell Jones is still serving a 13-year prison sentence for cocaine possession with an intent to distribute.

According to law enforcement officials, Jones led a drug empire supplying the Mobile, Alabama, area and had ties to a violent Mexican drug cartel. (If he hadn’t cooperated with authorities, pled guilty, and forfeited this home, a small car collection, and some snazzy jewelry, he might have received a longer sentence and faced more serious charges.)

What distinguishes this druglord’s lair from all the lookalikes and wannabes builders have been putting up all over Houston?

CONTINUE READING THIS STORY

04/22/10 8:48am

THE CASE OF THE UNUSUALLY HELPFUL CONTRACTOR Melvin Lendall Brown, owner of a local unincorporated business he called Brownstone Construction, provided an unusually complete range of services to his clients. The Justice Dept. announced his guilty plea — to a single count of wire fraud — earlier this week: “Brown and others recruited and solicited individuals with good credit to act as borrowers in applications for residential mortgage loans to purchase one or more of those properties, even though the borrowers had no intention of making payments on the mortgage loans. Brown, aided and abetted by at least one other person, made representations to each borrower, including that he would buy the home in the borrower’s name, make any monthly mortgage payments, find others to live in the home and pay monthly rent, take the home out of the borrower’s name after a period of time as well as compensate the borrower. Brown and others caused Uniform Residential Loan Applications to be made in the names of the borrowers that overstated their employment income and other assets, understated or omitted their debts and other liabilities, falsely represented that the borrowers leased the homes in which they resided and received income from the rent, and falsely claimed that the borrowers intended to occupy the newly purchased homes. Because of the fraudulent information, the lenders made decisions to approve the applications and fund the loans. In support of those fraudulent loan applications, false and fraudulent documents were submitted, including sham lease agreements and bogus employment information. Brown also provided funds to the borrowers to use for deposits toward the purchases of those homes and for closing fees, and he often appeared with the borrowers at the closings.” [FBI Houston, via InSite]

03/29/10 2:02pm

What inside info does Swamplot have to spill about this 6,648-sq.-ft. mansion on more than an acre off Memorial Dr. in Bayou Woods?

Absolutely none. Really: We don’t know a thing about it.

Okay, okay — nothing other than . . . uh, publicly available information. And this little reader comment last week that tipped us all off. Yeah, you read it too!

“Vinny Ocean” is selling his Memorial mansion. It is now listed at [$]3.5M. How much would YOU offer knowing that some mouthbreathing NJ thug might not know Palermo sold it and no longer lives there? I’d knock 3M right off the top. You really oughta amble over to HAR and take a look at this place – over the TOP!

Who’s Vinny Ocean?

CONTINUE READING THIS STORY

03/18/10 9:58pm

Yeah, there are lots of very large homes in Houston that kinda look like some drug lord’s mansion. But how can you find one that’s truly authentic? Here’s one way: Look for a property that’s been put on the market by actual U.S. marshals!

Like this 5-bedroom, 4-bath pinkish-brownish stucco crib at 17907 Elk Valley Circle in Ponderosa Trails. It sits on a 2.54-acre lot on a quiet cul-de-sac just south of Cypress Creek near Kuykendahl, and comes complete with the requisite pool and patio, hot tub, double-height porte-cochere, and 4-car garage.

Sure, it sorta looks like it might be the home of a drug kingpin, but so do a lot of other big homes in town built since, say, 2000. What’s this one’s pedigree?

CONTINUE READING THIS STORY

03/02/10 2:09pm

DARKNESS DESCENDS OVER THE EAST FREEWAY Hey, who turned out all the street lights along I-10 between the East Loop and Uvalde? Copper thieves! [Public Works spokesperson Alvin] Wright said a similar theft took place inside the loop, but this was the first time it had happened on such a large scale further east. In response, public works is considering replacing the copper wires with aluminum, and installing lock boxes to keep the copper conductors safe. Officials said they don’t know how long it will take to complete the repairs, which could eventually cost taxpayers thousands of dollars.” [KHOU.com]

02/22/10 10:55am

Will Julia Roberts play her a second time in this new movie? Houston socialite Joanne King Herring claims that an 18th century painting New York mortgage broker Geoffrey Rice tried to sell through Sotheby’s auction house last year was stolen from her home 24 years ago — and she’s got an original 1980 purchase receipt from Christie’s and a 1986 Houston police report to prove it. Rice claims he bought the painting for about $1,000 in Houston back in 1983 from — who’da guessed it? — Jerry and Wynonne Hart’s now-defunct Hart Galleries.

Alas, the Harts are in legal trouble of their own: last year they pled guilty to felony “misapplication of fiduciary property” while charges of theft and money laundering were dropped. But another judge later awarded them a new trial. Nevertheless, in an affidavit, they claim they never sold the painting — or anything else — to Rice.

Rice tells the New York Post he took the painting — by Scottish artist Sir Henry Raeburn — with him to New York after he got divorced, “where it sat in his laundry room until early last year.”

Wow. Just wow. A laundry room — in Manhattan!

CONTINUE READING THIS STORY