DRIVING IN HOUSTON? SO DéCLASSé 
Artists Carrie Schneider and Alex Tu — that’s Tu in the homemade Hazmat at right — recently walked the first leg of their revamp of Art Guy Michael Galbreth’s “The Human Tour,” a 40-mile hike through Houston in the shape of a body that he devised as a UH student in 1987; OffCite’s Edward S. Garza meets Schneider and Tu in a Midtown restaurant and looks to a higher source to understand what the artists “hope to accomplish,” he writes: “The televisions in Natachee’s are tuned to an episode of The Brady Bunch. Peter Brady is twirling a baton and doing a little jig in the living room. I think of how the Brady family would fit in well in Houston. They would certainly live outside the 610 Loop or, more likely, outside Beltway 8. Mr. and Mrs. Brady would seek somewhere ‘nice’ — that is, suburban, homogenous, and car-centric — to raise their children, and they would relish the array of choices: Pearland, Sugar Land, The Woodlands, Friendswood, Kingwood, Tomball, Spring, Clear Lake, Cypress, Katy. Anyone who has lived in this city for a considerable time will say it: in Houston, to be middle class is to spend a lot of time in a vehicle.” [OffCite; previously on Swamplot] Photo: OffCite
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Tag: Streets
A native Houstonian has set up a one-man bicycle-messenger service, reports Culturemap’s Whitney Radley: Within an hour, Clutch Delivery’s Liam Musgrave will pedal to your place almost anything — except dry cleaning, pets, and “illicit substances.” This map shows his service area, extending west out to the Loop and east to Lockwood.
HEY, WE’RE DRIVING HERE! 
An online petition aimed at Mayor Parker’s desk has just one demand: Block off a street, once a week, for pedestrian use: “Options abound,” the petition states: “McKinney downtown (between City Hall and Discovery Green), Rice Boulevard (between Main and Kirby), or Harrisburg. Westheimer between Shepherd and Bagby . . . . After seeing such a street in Ciudad Victoria, Mexico, one Houstonian wrote, ‘Just let pedestrians take over once a week. Let a thousand Sunday night walks bloom. Just a simple avenue for families to walk a stretch in the company of others. A boost for local businesses. A reason to get out on a Sunday night no matter the time of year. A space for performance artists and musicians and writers to interact directly with a wider public.'” [Sign On; previously on Swamplot] Photo of utility pole on Harrisburg: Swamplot inbox
A ground-floor plan of the Ballpark Apartments developer Marvy Finger is set to build on 2 downtown blocks beyond Minute Maid Park’s leftfield fence shows a couple of retail spaces are planned for the southern end of the 7-story complex. They’ll face Texas Ave. between La Branch and Crawford. The larger space, on the corner of Texas and Crawford, will take the place of what are now vacant retail spaces on the ground floor of the (long-vacant) Ben Milam Hotel. (It’s at the far bottom left of the Crawford St. rendering above.) A smaller space will take up the ground floor of land now occupied by the more recently shuttered Bells & Whistles Cafe, at the corner of Texas and La Branch. The plans, leaked to HAIF earlier this week, were prepared by Atlanta architects Niles Bolton Associates.
COMMENT OF THE DAY: SELL THE STREET, SLOW THE TRAFFIC “Agreed that we need more “super blocks†about as much as an aneurysm. Why is the Galleria area traffic such a cluster? Because they took the streets out. Why does downtown usually flow pretty well? Because they left the streets in, in a nice neat grid pattern that is only confusing if you try to get too hung up on true north, south, east, and west.” [mollusk, commenting on Finger Minute Maid Apartments To Hang Low, Cut Off Leftfield Block]
A full block of Calumet St. in the Museum District has been blocked off from traffic with a new landscaped and fenced median, notes Swamplot reader Katie White. Her photo above shows the new view from Austin St. looking towards Calumet; the street appears to have been closed between Austin and Caroline, directly south of the Holocaust Museum.
- Does the museum own the land now? [Twitter]
Photo: Katie White
DRIVING THIS STRETCH OF SHEPHERD WILL NEVER BE THE SAME 
Not for a couple more shrink-swell cycles, at least. A reader heralds the coming cataclysm: “Shepherd between Memorial and I-10 has begun to experience a transfiguration ranking with the most sublime heavenly experiences in the history of mankind: Milling trucks have been scraping the ragged, churned old asphalt in preparation for a new road, a new land, a new Jerusalem! Yes — fresh, smooth, new pavement on Shepherd Drive! Hallelujah!” Photo: Rachel Dvoretzky
COMMENT OF THE DAY: NAMING THE HEIGHTS’ GREAT STUDEWOOD “The 1200 block of Omar isn’t in Norhill; it’s west of the Studivide.” [mollusk, commenting on Daily Demolition Report: A Crush on Omar]
From his Twitter command post, Swamplot reader Greg Arnold sends these photos of what Heights-area I-10 feeder road construction has unearthed: Actual bricks under Heights Blvd.’s longtime (and future) surface of asphalt.
SOMEBODY FORGED TURTLEWOOD SQUARE SIGNATURES, BUT IT WASN’T HOANG 
Who forged neighbor signatures on a petition circulated to change the name of Turtlewood Dr. to Little Saigon Dr.? Someone who submitted them to city council member Al Hoang, a preliminary inquiry by the city’s Office of the Investigator General has determined. The report, issued last week, also appears to clear Hoang of allegations that he abused city resources in seeking to get the name of his street — in a development called Turtlewood Square, south of Bellaire Blvd. just outside the Beltway — switched. A lawsuit filed by neighbors in the case will continue; the decision on whether to proceed with an investigation of the forgeries will be up to the district attorney’s office. [Houston Politics; more detail; previously on Swamplot] Photo: HAR
As of Friday evening, new we’re-gonna-tow-you-if-you-park-here signs have been installed along D’Amico St. just north of the new Waugh Dr. Whole Foods Market, reports the Swamplot correspondent who’s been monitoring the parking situation there — and taking in the scene at the new store: “I think the traffic and mass crowds might be worth it,” was the first conclusion, even before the clampdown. These photos, showing the new signs and an American General security detail along D’Amico just west of the office complex parking garage, were taken on a later visit Saturday morning after a follow-up shopping expedition — where our correspondent happily scored 50 bucks’ worth of soda and candy.
- Previously on Swamplot: Later on Opening Day: Whole Foods Montrose Afternoon Parking Report
Photos: Swamplot inbox
“I don’t know about the Whole Foods parking lot,” writes a Swamplot reader, “but it’s certainly getting real on D’Amico!” Here’s a photo sent in with that report, taken just past the American General Center garage north of the new store on D’Amico St., shortly after 4 pm. But there was plenty of neighborhood-street spillover earlier, too: “Around lunch time, if there was a curb there was a car . . . on both sides along D’Amico, bumper to bumper from the light to just under the garage.” How long will this sort of thing keep up? Our tipster imagines AIG American General will soon put out no-parking signs “along any parts of the street that is their property, such as along the entrance to a parking lot across from whole foods and by the garage. Other areas on the campus have no parking signs where people tend to stop. I know you can’t park within a certain distance to a stop sign, does the same apply to stop lights? If so, some people risked a ticket just to get some groceries! It would be cheaper to pay for parking in the AIG lot or the garage visitor parking.” And no rush, folks. Those free chicken breast coupons are good until next Tuesday.
- Previously on Swamplot: Opening Day: It’s Getting Real Crowded at the Montrose Whole Foods Parking Lot, Beer, Wine, Art, and BBQ on Tap: Here’s Your New Whole Foods Market, Montrose, This Kind of Whole Foods Thing, Getting Real on Waugh at West Dallas This Weekend,
Photo: Swamplot inbox
THE NANNY DIDN’T DO IT In a statement released last Friday, council member Al Hoang clarifies statements he made earlier to the Chronicle and KHOU 11 News’s Jeremy Rogalski that appeared to place blame for the forging of 16 neighbors’ signatures on a nanny no longer employed by Hoang’s family. The signatures were gathered for a petition requesting the name of Hoang’s street be changed from Turtlewood Dr. to Little Saigon Dr. “I have never placed blame on my former personal assistant, as some stories have portrayed,†the statement reads. “I have clearly said that the homeowners association tendered the petition to my assistant at home, not that she maliciously forged that petition.†Hoang says he welcomes the Office of Inspector General investigation into the incident, which Mayor Parker announced last week. [Houston Politics; previously on Swamplot]
Update, 6/20: Hoang has issued a statement about his nanny.
Mayor Parker has requested a separate city investigation into whether council member Al Hoang forged the signatures of 16 neighbors in a bid to change the name of his street from Turtlewood Dr. to Little Saigon Dr. A petition requesting the name change was circulated among the residents of Turtlewood Square — a development of 47 nine-or-so-year-old homes located behind a Bellaire Blvd. strip center just west of Arthur Storey Park. A lawsuit filed by several residents of the development alleges that the when the petition was given to Hoang it didn’t have the signatures of the required 75 percent of residents. The lawsuit claims that by the time Hoang submitted the petition to the city, it had gained an additional 16 names — all forged. Hoang appears to have told 11 News reporter Jeremy Rogalski that he believes his nanny — who no longer works for him — was responsible for the extra names. After the allegations of forgery, Hoang submitted a direct request for the name change to the city’s planning department. The mayor has put both name change requests on hold pending resolution of the investigation.
- Mayor calls for OIG investigation into Council Member Hoang and City council member accused of forging names to get his way [KHOU 11 News]
Photo: HAR
In 2007, Houston’s city council sold a block of Bolsover St. in the Rice Village to the developers of Randall Davis’s Sonoma project so that it could be used as a private drive and restaurant plaza linking two phases of the development. Davis and Lamesa Properties did manage to demolish the neighboring buildings, but Sonoma was never built. Now, the Hanover Company is saying it’s ready to build portions of a 6-story mixed-use building directly on top of part of that street. Plans for the new project, called Hanover at Rice Village, show a large plaza with restaurant seating on the eastern portion of what used to be Bolsover, facing Morningside. But the west half of the block is slated for retail space, apartments, and a private courtyard for residents:
