COMMENT OF THE DAY: GOODBYE TO WOODCREST 
“. . . I contend that Rice Military has eaten up Woodcrest whatever the original boundaries were. I have lived about a mile from that Knox Street house for five years, riding my bike through there several times a week, and have never seen any evidence of the Woodcrest brand. (Though the pic of the sign in the TC Jester esplanade on the crickets-empty Woodcrest Neighborhood Association website looks vaguely familiar. It’s in black and white so no telling how old it is.) Rice Military, Crestwood/Glen Cove and Cottage Grove all have Wikipedia pages. Woodcrest does not. 999 out of 1000 Houstonians would not have a clue where Woodcrest was, but lots more know Rice Military. Its original identity has been erased in the last ten or 15 years and it’s now a Condo Canyon like Rice Military so let’s just let that boring Woodcrest name go, especially since there’s a Crestwood right down the street.” [John Nova Lomax, commenting on Hearsay Doubling Up Downtown; Touring the Inner Loop’s Second-Cheapest Rent House] Illustration: Lulu
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COMMENT OF THE DAY: IT’S DRIVE-THRUS, NOT APARTMENTS, THAT ARE THE REAL TRAFFIC-CAUSING MENACE 
“Feared traffic density related to construction of highrise apt/condo buildings is severely overestimated. Traffic flow in and out of the garages is spread out throughout the course of the day, so the increased number of cars will be mostly unnoticed at any point in time on any given day. There are more traffic concerns associated with a drive thru at Starbucks when the line backs up onto the street, thereby interfering with cars which are trying to get around the line. People do crazy things with their cars when trying to get in line for their coffee.” [Escout, commenting on Construction Work Has Begun on the Ashby Highrise] Illustration: Lulu
20 PERCENT OFF ALL OFFICEMAX AND OFFICE DEPOT LOCATIONS 
A total 400 OfficeMax and Office Depot stores will shut down nationwide — 150 of them by the end of the year, the combined company announced today. Office Depot bought OfficeMax last year, resulting in a dual-named office-products giant with 1,900 locations. No specific closings have been announced yet for this round; the Houston area still has 28 Office Depots and 10 OfficeMaxes, according to website store locators. Earlier this year, Staples announced it would close 225 stores; it’s now down from 11 to 9 Houston-area spots. [AP; previously on Swamplot] Photo of 3443 Kirby Dr. location: Douglas W.
15-HOME WESTMORELAND PLACE DEVELOPMENT CLEARS HURDLES, MORE TREE SPACE 
When last we left the 0.83-acre lot tucked up against Spur 527 between Marshall and Alabama St. (catty corner from the Broadstone at Midtown second block), developer Carnegie Homes was seeking city approval for a variance for reduced setbacks from the spur and Alabama St. The variance was approved last November; the site plan, which lays out space for 7 homesites within the Westmoreland Historic District (on the north portion of the property) and another 8 tighter townhome lots on the free-range southern end, has been adjusted slightly to allow a 5,000-sq.-ft. promenade and private park area leading up to and surrounding the enormous live oak tree (branches visible in the above photo) near the property’s northwest corner. A new sign announcing the development went up last week. It’s been renamed a couple times too. The former Carnegie Oaks at Westmoreland — described on the company’s website as The Oak at Westmoreland — is now Masterson Oaks at Westmoreland, Carnegie’s Arpan Gupta tells Swamplot, after the Masterson Mansion that stood on the site as recently as the 1950s, but was torn down after the spur bisected its grounds. Gupta is still seeking approvals within the Westmoreland historic district for a reduced setback along Marshall St. [Previously on Swamplot] Photo: Swamplot inbox
COMMENT OF THE DAY: THE FOLKS THUMPING YOUR PROPERTY 
“As someone who used to work on seismic crews for years before moving into designing these subsurface programs, I can tell you all about these. Vibe machines shake the ground using varying frequencies, some you feel, many you can’t. Those waves penetrate the earth with some of the energy reflecting back to the surface when it hits a density change while some of the energy refracts deeper down. Geophones are placed in an array at set spacing surrounding the source (vibe) and ‘listen’ for these reflected waves to return and record the strength and timing of the returning wave.
So, as previously mentioned, this is an oil/gas survey not ‘minerals,’ although the subsurface rights are called ‘mineral rights.’
Mineral rights supercede those of surface rights. You absolutely can shoot seismic on someones land without their permission. It sets up bad rapport and ultimately it’s not the seismic company that makes that decision, it’s the oil/gas company that is hiring them to do so. It usually only has to happen on large tracts. Small ones, you can navigate around the refusal without compromising data integrity. Large tracts you have to get a TRO (temporary restraining order) and usually the local sheriff is brought in to ensure security. It was rare, but it did happen. Aside from bad blood between the landowner and the field crew, we would generally find some of our equipment damaged upon removal.” [jeff, commenting on The Seismic Vibrators Shaking Up Some Southeast Houston Neighborhoods]
MAYBE WE SHOULD ROUND UP THE USUAL SUSPECTS 
What’s happened to the bar building by the Cottage Grove railroad tracks at 5519 Allen St. at the corner of T.C. Jester since lesbian bar The Usual shut down there in February? Perhaps a sale of the property and something new going in — but what? “Looks like someone bought the former home of The Usual,” reports a reader who drove by the site Friday and sent in this photo. “For sale sign is gone and there were workers in there today.” [Previously on Swamplot] Photo: Swamplot inbox
A SLIGHT TRAFFIC DELAY ON THE PATH TO BUILDING HOUSTON’S FIFTH RING ROAD 
There’s the 610 Loop, Beltway 8, Highway 6 and FM 1960, and the Grand Parkway. What will come next in the grand sequence of giant highways encircling Houston? Why that might be Highway 36A, also dubbed the Prairie Parkway, possibly because the segment of the Grand Parkway opened just a few months ago through similar natural landscape is now already too urbanized to hold onto a prairie-styled name. But the apparent eagerness of Waller County commissioners to have additional tolled segments added to link Highway 36 to State Hwy. 6 (the Waller one, not the West Houston road of the same name) to form what would likely become Houston’s fifth ring-road orbit path hit a slight bump yesterday, possibly because of opposition led by the Katy Prairie Conservancy, whose lands stand in the path. A scheduled vote on a proposed resolution in support of a highway-boosting support group called the Highway 36A Coalition and its request for TxDOT funds to study the proposed 107-mile corridor was withdrawn before it could be discussed, according to a report on Facebook posted by someone who attended the court session. “Instead, a ‘workshop’ has been scheduled for next Wednesday, May 7, immediately after the Court’s regular session,” reads the report. In public comments, according to the attendee, all 11 people who spoke about the proposed highway “seemed skeptical of the project in general.” [Citizens Against the Landfill in Hempstead; previously on Swamplot] Map showing path of proposed Prairie Parkway: Highway 36A Coalition
COMMENT OF THE DAY: GETTING THE MAXIMUM PRICE ON A MINIMUM LOT SIZE 
“All things being equal, restricted property is worth less than un-restricted property. However, property for which NEIGHBORING properties are restricted can be MORE valuable. Property owners accept MLS [minimum lot size] restrictions on their own property in return for MLS restrictions on their neighbors’ property. If the value they give up by accepting the restriction on their own property is less than the value they gain by ensuring they won’t end up living next to a townhouse cluster, then it can be in their interest to accept the restriction.
If you own a tear-down, MLS restrictions will (probably) reduce the value of your home. If you own a valuable structure on a block with one or more tear-downs, MLS restrictions will probably INCREASE the value of your home.” [Angostura, commenting on Flyer Sent to Very Near Northside Warns of Dangers of Minimum Lot Size Designation] Illustration: Lulu
COMMENT OF THE DAY: WHAT HOUSTON SMELLS LIKE 
“Ahhhh . . . the eau du Houston: a heady combination of ground level ozone, sewer methane, burnt coffee aroma (when the breeze/wind is blowing from EaDo), combined with various other odoeurs ranging from the slightly offensive to the occasional sweet smell of some heavily perfumed flower/tree/shrub . . .” [Patrick, commenting on The Sweet Smell of Houston History] Illustration: Lulu
THE SWEET SMELL OF HOUSTON HISTORY 
Embarking on a tour of Houston by means of a “site-specific narrative” created by 3 artists as part of the Mitchell Center for the Arts’ first CounterCurrent Festival earlier this month, critic Betsy Huete picks up her “survival pack” of a bottle of water, a Metro day pass, a phone charger, and a bottle of Purell hand sanitizer enclosed in a koozie, and heads to the first stop: Allen’s Landing. There she encounters one of the artists, Lacy M. Johnson: “Johnson suggested I begin reading the essays accompanying The Invisible City, a series of writings tied to specific coordinates within the city of Houston. I would have to read each excerpt at each location to fully understand the work. The writing tied to Allen’s Landing was a brief recalling of Houston’s history, starting with its birth as a settlement at Allen’s Landing and, eventually, a meditation on the city’s rabid desire to erase itself and rebuild, leaving a palimpsest of memory and history. As I descended the stairs overlooking the bayou’s lush greenery on that crisp spring morning, with an erect corporate sky line as backdrop to errant clothes and shards of glass, with the stink of urine-saturated concrete pervading my nostrils, Johnson’s statement could not have rung more true. It was beautiful.” [Glasstire] Photo: Scott Ehardt [license]
‘TAMPICO HEIGHTS’ IS NOW A THING ON GOOGLE MAPS 
Near Northside residents who didn’t want their neighborhood to be called Tampico Heights have been successful in their campaign to keep the new name out. But it looks like Tampico Heights may be settling in as a new neighbor. A reader reports — and a quick online search confirms (see screen capture at left) — that Google Maps has now begun applying the new name Tampico Heights to area maps. Northside Village has been spared the Heights creep: The Tampico Heights name appears to have been applied to inner-loop neighborhoods Brooke Smith, East Sunset Heights, and portions of Sunset Heights west of I-45 and east of North Main, and not to Northside Village or the Near Northside, which lie east of I-45. That’s a more reasonable spot for a Tampico Heights to land anyway, since it incorporates the Tampico Refresqueria at 4520 N. Main St. and Tampico Seafood & Cocina Mexicana, at 2115 Airline Dr. [Previously on Swamplot]
COMMENT OF THE DAY: HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW THE HEIGHTS IS PUTTING ON WEIGHT? 
“I think they are going to have to change the name of the area from the ‘Heights’ to the ‘Widths.’ In addition to Fat Cat and the soon to be new doughnut shop, Gelazzi on White Oak is opening in May to serve gelato and other Italian treats. RED Dessert Dive & Coffee Shop is building out on Studewood. Then there is the recently opened Heights Candy Store on Studewood. All of this is in addition to great pastries, baked goods and other treats at Angela’s Oven, Kraftsmen, Revival Market, Boulevard Coffee (possibly the best cinnamon rolls in Houston), Happy Fatz, What’s Up Cupcake, Mighty Sweet Mini Pies and Dacapo’s. Yikes.” [Old School, commenting on More Sugar Headed for the Sweetest Strip Center on North Shepherd] Illustration: Lulu
ST. PHILIP PRESBYTERIAN IS NOT FOR SALE 
“The enduring themes of conversation here include traffic and real estate,” intoned Pastor John Wurster in his Easter Sunday sermon in front of the blue tiled chancel wall in the sanctuary of the St. Philip Presbyterian Church, which is sited on a prime slice of Uptown land at 4807 San Felipe St. “The real estate conversations seem to happen exclusively with those outside of the church. These are the people who call expressing an interest in buying the church property. I explain that we’re not looking to sell. Of course, you are. Everyone is willing to sell at some point. Just tell us what that point is. No, really, we feel like this is where God has called us. This kind of theological talk tends to bring no response beyond bafflement, as if it’s not possible that one could be in a place and not be willing to leave it if the price were right, as if it’s not possible that decisions and actions might be motivated by something besides money.” Saint Philip’s congregation merged with Central Presbyterian Church a few years ago, shortly before that congregation sold its Richmond Dr. facility to the Morgan Group. Central Presbyterian was torn down for apartments in 2011. [St. Philip Presbyterian; previously on Swamplot] Photo: church member Jeromy Murphy
TURNING THE FERAL HOGS OF BARKER AND ADDICKS RESERVOIRS INTO PORK CHOPS FOR THE NEEDY 
Yesterday county commissioners approved a 1-year contract yesterday with Brookshire’s J&J Packing Co. (pictured at left at 35602 W. Hwy. 90) to slaughter and butcher feral hogs found damaging sports fields and other facilities in and around West Houston’s George Bush Park and Congressman Bill Archer Park and turn them into meat for area food banks. Harris County precinct 3 employees will now be responsible for trapping the hogs and transporting them to the Brookshire plant for processing. “The plan is to trap the varmints in four, 4-acre fenced structures — two in each park — where they can survive for up to several weeks, having grass, water and room to move around,” writes Kiah Collier. “The larger traps will be more effective than smaller ones employees have been using, [Precinct 3 special activities coordinator Mike] McMahan said, because the pigs do not realize they are in a trap and are less likely to panic and warn others. ‘Pigs become very aware of those situations very quickly,’ McMahan said. ‘Pigs are very smart animals.’ But a wildlife disease biologist tells Collier that similar plans tried elsewhere have turned out to be very expensive, and that there are disease risks: “It’s great publicity while it works,” says Brian Mesenbrink with the Texas offices of the USDA’s Wildlife Services, “but the minute something goes wrong, the minute somebody gets sick, there’s going to be all hell to pay. No one thinks about that going into it. They just see the fuzzy and warm side of it.” [Houston Chronicle ($)] Photo: J&J Packing Co.
HOW THE BEER CAN HOUSE GOT ITS BEER, AND OTHER ESSENTIAL STORIES OF ENSHRINED HOUSTON WACKINESS 
Somebody oughta write a history, you’ve probably thought at some point, of the singular, weird art treasures like the Orange Show, the Beer Can House, the Flower Man‘s house, and okay, maybe Pigdom and TemplO and Notsuoh — that give Houston legitimate license to call itself funky. But it took a relative newcomer — writer Pete Gershon moved to Houston in 2005 — to conduct all the interviews and get these and other stories down on paper. Gershon’s new book, Painting the Town Orange: The Stories Behind Houston’s Visionary Art Environments, weaves together tales of the creation and preservation of these and other unique urban places, giving a detailed view of the thinking (and in at least one instance, drinking) that put them together and drew others to them. Sections on Grace Bashara Green’s stuffed-to-the-gills house at 414 Avondale St., David David Smalley’s Miniature Museum at 1406 Welch, Dolan Smith’s Museum of the Weird, and Bill Davenport’s 11th St. junk shop art studio on 11th St. were cut from the manuscript before it was published, but posted separately on the art blog The Great God Pan Is Dead. [Brazos Bookstore]
